The Interview -- Answers
bellamagic asks:
1. Do you remember your dreams? If so, what was your favorite dream? If you don't remember your dreams, would you want to do so?
I often remember dreams, sometimes in great detail -- and moreso after working in a twice-a-month dream group for about four years. Writing them down in the moment of awakening helps, lying perfectly still until I can find a few words to remind me helps. And yes, I do want to remember them -- they often provide clues for my waking life and they seem definitely to provide clues for my spiritual life (that is, the life of this Spiritual Being having the Human Experience of being in This Body).
My favorite dream? well, one of them -- I'm getting dressed up for a very formal ritual in which I have a central role. Around me others are decorating a big room, setting chairs around the perimeter, altars along each wall, building a garlanded and draped structure in the middle, lots of flowers and candles. I'm almost ready but I can't find something I need. Each of the altars has been assembled on the top of a big old-fashioned dresser, and now I'm frantically digging through the drawers of each, one after the other.
My first thought on waking was that I didn't know what I was looking for, but as I wrote it down, as often happens more of it came forward -- as if the subconscious is willing to provide more info once the conscious talking mind has shown willingness to pay attention. I was looking for The Key, The Answer, the Tool -- something of truly central importance to my life and to the work we would shortly be doing.
As the guests arrive, I finally find it -- a lovely green enamel box. With relief I close the drawers and straighten the altar cloths, then take the box to my chair before opening it.
Inside (much to the surprise of my waking self) are the wedding rings we exchanged in 1985, but this time they are in brilliant yellow gold instead of the silvery whitegold they are in life. As I am waking up, I am reading the inscriptions inside. Just now, writing this some months later, I realize I found them in the bottom (deepest) drawer of the Water altar.
2. Behaviors are often assigned a gender. With that in mind, what percentage of yourself would you consider male, and what percentage female? What is the tipping factor if its more one way than the other?
In childhood I feel like I was 50/50 ... or, alternatively, that I was completely neuter in consciousness, though completely female in physiognomy.
In middle adulthood I often felt about 75/25, with male in the higher proportion, based entirely on socially-constructed behavior and interest assignments -- I was an engineer and a mechanic, a somewhat autocratic leader, the dominant voice of 'certainty' (ha!) in any group discussion.
Nowadays I am probably about 75/25 with female in the higher proportion, based on the same assignments -- I have a number of artistic interests, I do much more 'relationship' talking and much less 'information' talking, I write long chatty letters, I care deeply about my relationships with children and grandchildren, and I have boundary-and-enmeshment issues of over-responsibility in my family (wry grin).
3. Are you a teacher, or do you teach? Is there a difference between the two?
Yes, and yes. Also, yes. In some respects I think we are all Teachers -- of those younger or newer than we, and also of one another as we meet and rub each other's harsh edges off. And, I teach intentionally at times -- didactically, and by example, and by leading exercise and encouraging the student to observe and experience their own experience and observation.
Sometimes when I am consciously Teaching, I can also invoke the Master Teacher / Inner Counselor, who then does the work far better than I could have planned it.
Sometimes when I am 'being' a teacher, I am not remotely conscious of it until later.
4. You've just won a trip in a time machine, but it's a one way trip. Do you take the trip? If not, why? If so, to where/when?
Maybe. Usually my stance would be to not take it -- that is, to continue to embrace this life rather than wimping out on it and walking away. But sometimes -- if all my obligations had been met or otherwise ceased, say, or in some of those moments of anger or despair -- then I might take it, one-way or not.
And if I did, I might go to the spring of 1968 or 1974 and make better use of my choices, stand up for myself more, experience my own value more accurately, recognize more quickly the importance of speaking my own truth. Or -- assuming I made all the same choices as last time -- I might enjoy it more.
Looking into history, I dunno as there's much I would want to go to permanently -- too much risk of showing up in front of a lion or a centurion and finding myself ill-equipped for the task. Though it might be interesting to contemplate a visit to one of the Minoan Cretan communities if I could go as a priestess.
Looking in the other direction, I might be tempted to visit the far future, but I see I wouldn't know how to set the coordinates, so would be taking pretty much pot-luck.
5. What part of yourself do you tend to hide from others?
Depends entirely on the circumstances. My vulnerability, mostly, but in other moments I find myself hiding my competence. Sometimes I hide parts of my history, though that temptation is fading these days. Many years ago I used to hide my psychic talents, but having found a community where they are acceptable I see I have given up that habit.
Thank you for this experience -- GREAT questions!
Now -- who else wants to be interviewed?
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