Then and Now -- a time traveling Meme
Copied from jenett
Ten years ago, and now:
1) How old were you?
THEN: 51 and 11 months
NOW: 62 in a couple weeks
2) What was your online presence?
THEN: one e-mail account on Compuserve, using the TAPCIS text-only interface. I did a lot of writing on the computer and sent plenty of e-mails about it, but mostly sent in hardcopy by postal mail. Finishing my bachelor's and during all of grad school I communicated with school via e-mail but attended all classes in person and submitted all homework in hardcopy.
NOW: two e-mail accounts, one for spiritual matters and one for everything else. Two yahoo accounts, ditto. Two blogs but no webpage yet. Everything I write gets shipped around by internet or e-mail, whether for publication or for school or whatever. Now that I'm in seminary (Cherry Hill, if you want to know -- graduate level education for professional Pagan clergy) and, separately, taking writing courses (Gotham Writers Workshop), everything is submitted by upload to interactive websites, class takes place in chatrooms, and we communicate by e-mail between classes.
3) Where did you work?
THEN: Having retired in '96 after 10 years in real estate, I took the year off at 50 and found myself bored. Ten years ago was the year I had two part-time jobs: activiities aid in a residential facility for people with mid-stage Alzheimers' Disease, and residential teacher in a group home for two adults with mental retardation, one of whom was also autistic.
NOW: I'm self-employed and semi-retired. A few times a year I teach a workshop in personal empowerment or spiritual development, maybe in a weekend format or several consecutive afternoons or evenings. I teach a weekly yoga class. In most of the past ten years I've taught at Womongathering; a couple of years ago I taught at a Reclaiming Intensive (Witchcamp) and I hope to do that again. Eventually I hope to do some work as a chaplain in hospitals and prisons. Also, now I do volunteer work, serving in various capacities within a local congregation and volunteering with hospice.
4) Where did you live?
THEN: in a 1500 square foot split-level house with four other adults and almost two houses worth of furniture on half an acre right on a busy street. I shared a desk with my husband.
NOW: In a 4000 square foot two-story house with three other adults on eleven acres with a quarter-mile driveway. I share the second floor with my husband -- one office for him, one office for me, plus a bathroom -- and the main level has two master bedrooms, ours on the south and the other couple's on the north.
5) Who did you live with?
(See above, plus a cat. Same cat, now about age 13)
6) How was your health?
THEN: Good. Skiing most winters, swimming most summers, plenty of walking always.
NOW: Good. Less skiing and swimming, more gym time, yoga a couple of times a week. I'm about 7 pounds heavier and maybe half a step slower. I notice I use my hands to get up from a chair now, which I never used to do.
7) What pets did you have?
I don't have pets, I have an Owner. Now as then.
8) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse/S.O.?
Same guy; husband #3 since 1985.
9) Who were your friends?
THEN: a couple of co-workers. A few women I'd met in a class on woman-centered religion. A few square-dancing partners.
NOW: a good number of fellow congregants. Covensisters I've been working with for nearly a decade. Pagans and witches all over the country. Classmates from grad school, seminary, yoga teacher training, writing workshops.
10) Any kids? Any plans for kids?
THEN: One who lived in Spain and one who was newly married in Delaware. My husband had one grandchild and the other couple had three.
NOW: The one in Spain is now in New York and is newly married. The one in Delaware is now in New Jersey and is newly separated after ten years. I have two grandkids, my husband has two, the other couple have seven.
11) What was your worst struggle?
THEN: interpersonal communication. Lots of irritation, frustration, anger. Plenty of shouting, which tended to drive people away. All three of my housemates drank too much.
NOW: interpersonal communication. Lots of compassionate listening, some frustration, occasional irritation but little anger. Almost no shouting. Two of my housemates have moderated their drinking significantly. My mate has begun to pay attention to how much he drinks. My own drinking got out of control last winter and I've been attending AA meetings for almost five months now.
12) What was your biggest joy?
(I hate forced-rank questions)
THEN: Getting away from an industry I no longer enjoyed. Square-dancing weekly was great. Skiing and driving were lots of fun. Singing and playing music. Learning to live in an intentional family was mostly joyful and occasionally enormously difficult, very rewarding when it was going well.
NOW: Choosing activities I enjoy, just because I enjoy them. Not so much dancing or skiing. Driving is still plenty of fun. Lots more singing, lots less playing piano; almost no guitar nowadays. Family life is very satisfying and the grandchildren are marvelous. Making magic, spiritual connection, covenantal relationships are always wonderful. Weaving is delightful.
13) What did you consider your greatest accomplishment?
THEN: Finding the right community for one couple, finding the perfect family house for another. And eventually, getting one Alzheimers' patient to smile and another one to dance.
NOW: Bringing magic to central New Jersey, completing the first chapters of my memoir, completing my BA at age 53 and a master's at 55.
14) What advice would you give your younger self?
Not everything is as difficult as you make it seem. Listen more deeply, answer more slowly, and you will often find that people are saying something quite different than what you are afraid to hear.
15) What would your younger self say to you?
Celebrate and keep your skills up. Play and keep on playing. Remember to dance.
16) Looking back, is your life in 2008 what you thought it would be in 1998?
No. But that's been true all my life -- every five-year plan I've made has been useful, but none has been entirely fulfilled and all have been surpassed in one way or another.
Ten years ago, and now:
1) How old were you?
THEN: 51 and 11 months
NOW: 62 in a couple weeks
2) What was your online presence?
THEN: one e-mail account on Compuserve, using the TAPCIS text-only interface. I did a lot of writing on the computer and sent plenty of e-mails about it, but mostly sent in hardcopy by postal mail. Finishing my bachelor's and during all of grad school I communicated with school via e-mail but attended all classes in person and submitted all homework in hardcopy.
NOW: two e-mail accounts, one for spiritual matters and one for everything else. Two yahoo accounts, ditto. Two blogs but no webpage yet. Everything I write gets shipped around by internet or e-mail, whether for publication or for school or whatever. Now that I'm in seminary (Cherry Hill, if you want to know -- graduate level education for professional Pagan clergy) and, separately, taking writing courses (Gotham Writers Workshop), everything is submitted by upload to interactive websites, class takes place in chatrooms, and we communicate by e-mail between classes.
3) Where did you work?
THEN: Having retired in '96 after 10 years in real estate, I took the year off at 50 and found myself bored. Ten years ago was the year I had two part-time jobs: activiities aid in a residential facility for people with mid-stage Alzheimers' Disease, and residential teacher in a group home for two adults with mental retardation, one of whom was also autistic.
NOW: I'm self-employed and semi-retired. A few times a year I teach a workshop in personal empowerment or spiritual development, maybe in a weekend format or several consecutive afternoons or evenings. I teach a weekly yoga class. In most of the past ten years I've taught at Womongathering; a couple of years ago I taught at a Reclaiming Intensive (Witchcamp) and I hope to do that again. Eventually I hope to do some work as a chaplain in hospitals and prisons. Also, now I do volunteer work, serving in various capacities within a local congregation and volunteering with hospice.
4) Where did you live?
THEN: in a 1500 square foot split-level house with four other adults and almost two houses worth of furniture on half an acre right on a busy street. I shared a desk with my husband.
NOW: In a 4000 square foot two-story house with three other adults on eleven acres with a quarter-mile driveway. I share the second floor with my husband -- one office for him, one office for me, plus a bathroom -- and the main level has two master bedrooms, ours on the south and the other couple's on the north.
5) Who did you live with?
(See above, plus a cat. Same cat, now about age 13)
6) How was your health?
THEN: Good. Skiing most winters, swimming most summers, plenty of walking always.
NOW: Good. Less skiing and swimming, more gym time, yoga a couple of times a week. I'm about 7 pounds heavier and maybe half a step slower. I notice I use my hands to get up from a chair now, which I never used to do.
7) What pets did you have?
I don't have pets, I have an Owner. Now as then.
8) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse/S.O.?
Same guy; husband #3 since 1985.
9) Who were your friends?
THEN: a couple of co-workers. A few women I'd met in a class on woman-centered religion. A few square-dancing partners.
NOW: a good number of fellow congregants. Covensisters I've been working with for nearly a decade. Pagans and witches all over the country. Classmates from grad school, seminary, yoga teacher training, writing workshops.
10) Any kids? Any plans for kids?
THEN: One who lived in Spain and one who was newly married in Delaware. My husband had one grandchild and the other couple had three.
NOW: The one in Spain is now in New York and is newly married. The one in Delaware is now in New Jersey and is newly separated after ten years. I have two grandkids, my husband has two, the other couple have seven.
11) What was your worst struggle?
THEN: interpersonal communication. Lots of irritation, frustration, anger. Plenty of shouting, which tended to drive people away. All three of my housemates drank too much.
NOW: interpersonal communication. Lots of compassionate listening, some frustration, occasional irritation but little anger. Almost no shouting. Two of my housemates have moderated their drinking significantly. My mate has begun to pay attention to how much he drinks. My own drinking got out of control last winter and I've been attending AA meetings for almost five months now.
12) What was your biggest joy?
(I hate forced-rank questions)
THEN: Getting away from an industry I no longer enjoyed. Square-dancing weekly was great. Skiing and driving were lots of fun. Singing and playing music. Learning to live in an intentional family was mostly joyful and occasionally enormously difficult, very rewarding when it was going well.
NOW: Choosing activities I enjoy, just because I enjoy them. Not so much dancing or skiing. Driving is still plenty of fun. Lots more singing, lots less playing piano; almost no guitar nowadays. Family life is very satisfying and the grandchildren are marvelous. Making magic, spiritual connection, covenantal relationships are always wonderful. Weaving is delightful.
13) What did you consider your greatest accomplishment?
THEN: Finding the right community for one couple, finding the perfect family house for another. And eventually, getting one Alzheimers' patient to smile and another one to dance.
NOW: Bringing magic to central New Jersey, completing the first chapters of my memoir, completing my BA at age 53 and a master's at 55.
14) What advice would you give your younger self?
Not everything is as difficult as you make it seem. Listen more deeply, answer more slowly, and you will often find that people are saying something quite different than what you are afraid to hear.
15) What would your younger self say to you?
Celebrate and keep your skills up. Play and keep on playing. Remember to dance.
16) Looking back, is your life in 2008 what you thought it would be in 1998?
No. But that's been true all my life -- every five-year plan I've made has been useful, but none has been entirely fulfilled and all have been surpassed in one way or another.