Why am I so scattered today? .... duh.
Woke up at 4:00 ayem. Going back to sleep was impossible, though I tried. Dreams confused and generally anxious, but no focus. Beloved Dog sleeping pressed close to my side, warm and safe. Gave up and got out of bed before 5:30. Even Beloved Dog was unwilling to face the day at that hour, but lying in bed wasna working for me.
This morning has been full of petty accomplishment, mild but persistent impatience even with people I ordinarily enjoy, even with conversations I would ordinarily welcome.
Been hither and yon but not able to settle to anything yet. And starting to wonder what the heck is up?
... so then I sat at the computer and checked e-mail ... nothing much.
I wanted to e-mail somebody, or call somebody ... I thought of e-mailing my Mom, but then I remembered she doesn't read e-mail these days.
Duh. Today is the 6th anniversary of her death, not 6 feet from where I'm sitting. At, come to think of it, less than an hour before 4 am.
I feel better just understanding what's up. (Again, of course ... seems to me I noticed this a couple of weeks ago, too).
Still plenty to do, but ...
....
This morning has been full of petty accomplishment, mild but persistent impatience even with people I ordinarily enjoy, even with conversations I would ordinarily welcome.
Been hither and yon but not able to settle to anything yet. And starting to wonder what the heck is up?
... so then I sat at the computer and checked e-mail ... nothing much.
I wanted to e-mail somebody, or call somebody ... I thought of e-mailing my Mom, but then I remembered she doesn't read e-mail these days.
Duh. Today is the 6th anniversary of her death, not 6 feet from where I'm sitting. At, come to think of it, less than an hour before 4 am.
I feel better just understanding what's up. (Again, of course ... seems to me I noticed this a couple of weeks ago, too).
Still plenty to do, but ...
....