Synchronicity
So I finished last night's post and, by and by, went to bed. Part of the bedtime routine these days is to read Discourses from one of my spiritual teachers -- not anyone connected to this Yoga Teacher Training, someone I first encountered in the 1970s and have been actually reading for a couple of years, mostly nightly.
I'm in the middle of my third or fourth read-through of the June 2007 booklet. The second paragraph I read last night included a line about 'Resistance.' Notice that you have it, sort of like you have exhaling. Let it go through you, sort of like exhaling. Don't give it much emphasis.
"Okay!" I thought. So I'm getting some fairly direct guidance here. Maybe my resistance is just that -- a psychological process having nothing-or-not-much to do with anything my YTT instructor is actually saying. Nothing to play the right/wrong game about (and thank you,
quedishtu, for pointing that one out).
Then today I'm reading an e-mail from the daily 'thought for the day' list I belong to, involving the same spiritual teacher as the booklet.
"If you're doing the work, you need to trust the teacher," it said (or at least, that's how I heard what it said -- wry grin). "If you trust the teacher, don't go looking for other people to tell you about your spiritual life or who you are in it; just do your own work."
So, okay, now I'm feeling like lots of buttons have been pushed and the machinery is operating cleanly again. I already know about myself that, while I do "trust" several of my teachers to tell me "the truth" as they see it, there is nobody I trust to know "the truth for me" better than I know it for myself. I recognize my resistance and I also recognize my inner bullshit detector. I recognize my own responsibility in these matters. And suddenly there is peacefulness inside me after all.
Perhaps this explains why I have still not sought initiation -- not in Reclaiming nor Feri, not in MSIA nor Yoga, not in Servants of the Light nor Charismatics. Perhaps before I seek 'initiation' :I will need to be seeing a teacher who I 'need' to intercede for me -- as opposed to the many teachers I have found whose teachings have huge value in my multi-faceted personal process.
So, okay, peacefulness reigns.
(whew)
I'm in the middle of my third or fourth read-through of the June 2007 booklet. The second paragraph I read last night included a line about 'Resistance.' Notice that you have it, sort of like you have exhaling. Let it go through you, sort of like exhaling. Don't give it much emphasis.
"Okay!" I thought. So I'm getting some fairly direct guidance here. Maybe my resistance is just that -- a psychological process having nothing-or-not-much to do with anything my YTT instructor is actually saying. Nothing to play the right/wrong game about (and thank you,
quedishtu, for pointing that one out).
Then today I'm reading an e-mail from the daily 'thought for the day' list I belong to, involving the same spiritual teacher as the booklet.
"If you're doing the work, you need to trust the teacher," it said (or at least, that's how I heard what it said -- wry grin). "If you trust the teacher, don't go looking for other people to tell you about your spiritual life or who you are in it; just do your own work."
So, okay, now I'm feeling like lots of buttons have been pushed and the machinery is operating cleanly again. I already know about myself that, while I do "trust" several of my teachers to tell me "the truth" as they see it, there is nobody I trust to know "the truth for me" better than I know it for myself. I recognize my resistance and I also recognize my inner bullshit detector. I recognize my own responsibility in these matters. And suddenly there is peacefulness inside me after all.
Perhaps this explains why I have still not sought initiation -- not in Reclaiming nor Feri, not in MSIA nor Yoga, not in Servants of the Light nor Charismatics. Perhaps before I seek 'initiation' :I will need to be seeing a teacher who I 'need' to intercede for me -- as opposed to the many teachers I have found whose teachings have huge value in my multi-faceted personal process.
So, okay, peacefulness reigns.
(whew)