Leaving to go 'home'
This week it's time to head back North.
It's funny how weird that feels. There've been times when I keenly missed close people, favorite activities, some kinds of art that are hard to do in confined spaces or without lots of cleanup water -- there've been a few times when I wanted nothing more than to be home. But now that I'm starting to pack ... I wish I were staying here longer.
I'm loving the boaters' community here, the supportive commaraderie, the water, the wind, the motion of the boat. I've loved the opportunity to just 'be' together. And, I've missed the people who speak to deeper parts of me, who are willing to step forward and do the work of becoming, who see emotional processes as helpful guides to be decoded rather than scary intrusions to be ignored. (Does that sound judgmental? Well, maybe a bit -- but we just had our first 'distance' fight t'other day).
Not going straight home, though -- getting a rare chance to spend a weekend in Missouri (not precisely 'on the way') doing the deep work my soul craves.
Where will the journey take me? I dunno -- but this is the New Moon of Leadership and Listening, at least for me, and so far the month has been full of self-awareness and not a little self-criticism. What would I do if I felt myself free to do it? (What goes on inside me that I don't feel 'free' to do it? What are the 'rules' and 'hidden loyalties' and 'agreements' I think I have to follow that prevent me from 'doing it' ?)
This week I looked up and discovered I've been doing daily practice consistently more than 5 days a week for 12 weeks now. I'm loving that, and finding it serves me well. Earlier I realized that our 'fight' arrived after two days of skipping practice -- first time in weeks that I'd let two days go by at once -- and I see that daily practice is having the effect of letting me clear out my emotions before they pile up too deeply, like snow that turns to ice and has to fall off the roof in an avalanche.
Peacefulness (on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being 'most'): 4
Loving Attitude: 3
Altitude of my viewpoint: 3
Uplifiting Guidance I'm receiving: 3
Joy: 2
:)
It's funny how weird that feels. There've been times when I keenly missed close people, favorite activities, some kinds of art that are hard to do in confined spaces or without lots of cleanup water -- there've been a few times when I wanted nothing more than to be home. But now that I'm starting to pack ... I wish I were staying here longer.
I'm loving the boaters' community here, the supportive commaraderie, the water, the wind, the motion of the boat. I've loved the opportunity to just 'be' together. And, I've missed the people who speak to deeper parts of me, who are willing to step forward and do the work of becoming, who see emotional processes as helpful guides to be decoded rather than scary intrusions to be ignored. (Does that sound judgmental? Well, maybe a bit -- but we just had our first 'distance' fight t'other day).
Not going straight home, though -- getting a rare chance to spend a weekend in Missouri (not precisely 'on the way') doing the deep work my soul craves.
Where will the journey take me? I dunno -- but this is the New Moon of Leadership and Listening, at least for me, and so far the month has been full of self-awareness and not a little self-criticism. What would I do if I felt myself free to do it? (What goes on inside me that I don't feel 'free' to do it? What are the 'rules' and 'hidden loyalties' and 'agreements' I think I have to follow that prevent me from 'doing it' ?)
This week I looked up and discovered I've been doing daily practice consistently more than 5 days a week for 12 weeks now. I'm loving that, and finding it serves me well. Earlier I realized that our 'fight' arrived after two days of skipping practice -- first time in weeks that I'd let two days go by at once -- and I see that daily practice is having the effect of letting me clear out my emotions before they pile up too deeply, like snow that turns to ice and has to fall off the roof in an avalanche.
Peacefulness (on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being 'most'): 4
Loving Attitude: 3
Altitude of my viewpoint: 3
Uplifiting Guidance I'm receiving: 3
Joy: 2
:)