Ready to run ...
I'm gonna be ready this time
You see it feels like I'm starting to care
And I'm going to be ready this time
Oh yeah
Ready, ready, ready, ready...ready to run
(Dixie Chicks, "Ready to Run")
Oh good greif. Why must my heart go out to someone else now? Ugh ... I am really interested in P and oh I don't want to be because all I can feel in my heart is panic. He's moving into town this weekend. I haven't really been able to speak to him since they went up to CFB B- to finish up paperwork as they don't really have internet there (what would be the point when you are only there for a week?) and so I worry that he doesn't like me as much before. Which is ridiculous. I don't want to feel this way about anyone again and it really freaks me out because I am leaving in two months. The last time M just burned me really badly. I am really scared about letting him get close to me. I don't know if I can handle it. And the worst part is he is too nice in that he's letting me take my time and so on and so on. So I cannot even be he's mean so get lost. That doesn't even make sense.
Ugh.
I feel like I'm ready to run a mile just to get away from this feeling. I feel nauseated.
In other news ...
My next two weeks have turned into a busy social calendar. In about an hour I'm meeting an old friend for drinks. Tomorrow is the doctors and picking up the documents from the Consulate. Maybe beach tomorrow too. Friday night is some sort of house party. Another house party Saturday but this time for G's bday. Sunday helping a friend move. Next week is the great rib and chicken cookoff (!!!!) so will be eating a lot as they are soooo good (those of you that don't know it is a competition with people from all over North America competing for various prizes). Then there is also "Chicago" that I have a ticket to see. Oh and two other birthday parties two Saturday nights from now. Between all that P is moving to town and I'm supposed to be his tour guide/help him find a place after which he wants my help decorating (um ... I'm not the right person to do this!). So with all that I won't have much time to rest up before my course starts on the second. But good times. Definitely looking forward to it - will be so fun!
You see it feels like I'm starting to care
And I'm going to be ready this time
Oh yeah
Ready, ready, ready, ready...ready to run
(Dixie Chicks, "Ready to Run")
Oh good greif. Why must my heart go out to someone else now? Ugh ... I am really interested in P and oh I don't want to be because all I can feel in my heart is panic. He's moving into town this weekend. I haven't really been able to speak to him since they went up to CFB B- to finish up paperwork as they don't really have internet there (what would be the point when you are only there for a week?) and so I worry that he doesn't like me as much before. Which is ridiculous. I don't want to feel this way about anyone again and it really freaks me out because I am leaving in two months. The last time M just burned me really badly. I am really scared about letting him get close to me. I don't know if I can handle it. And the worst part is he is too nice in that he's letting me take my time and so on and so on. So I cannot even be he's mean so get lost. That doesn't even make sense.
Ugh.
I feel like I'm ready to run a mile just to get away from this feeling. I feel nauseated.
In other news ...
My next two weeks have turned into a busy social calendar. In about an hour I'm meeting an old friend for drinks. Tomorrow is the doctors and picking up the documents from the Consulate. Maybe beach tomorrow too. Friday night is some sort of house party. Another house party Saturday but this time for G's bday. Sunday helping a friend move. Next week is the great rib and chicken cookoff (!!!!) so will be eating a lot as they are soooo good (those of you that don't know it is a competition with people from all over North America competing for various prizes). Then there is also "Chicago" that I have a ticket to see. Oh and two other birthday parties two Saturday nights from now. Between all that P is moving to town and I'm supposed to be his tour guide/help him find a place after which he wants my help decorating (um ... I'm not the right person to do this!). So with all that I won't have much time to rest up before my course starts on the second. But good times. Definitely looking forward to it - will be so fun!