(no subject)
I don't know ... I really don't know. I am over it now (I think and hope). Over the relationship, I mean .... It doesn't hurt anymore and I don't feel sad. But I feel somewhat hollow and empty inside. The days of just wanting to break down and cry whenever I even thought of M are gone now, I am sure. I am not entirely sure when M is going over but it will be before Thanksgiving. And sometime within that timespan I am supposed to get a call. I don't know how that is going to go or what's really going on back there - and I am not sure I really want to know. The gist of it I got was a lot of drinking and some girls (girl?) for fun when exercises are not going on. If that is really really the case I am dissappointed because I thought M was above all that. Although it seemed for M that it was confusing that I hadn't started seeing anyone - which I find weird. I mean, I don't even have time in the first place even if I wanted to or was even remotely interested in someone. And quite frankly ... I have not come across anyone who I am remotely attracted to, let alone worth it to put my heart on the line again. I guess the other thing is I never really dated. I've only ever been in relationships, whether they were short-term or long- term - and in more recent years they have been long term lasting between a year and a half to three years.