Anywhere but here
Things are moving so slowly right now. Life is just a slippery slope right now and it looks like I just have to play the waiting game.
I feel stuck.
And hungry.
I don't want to be here. We were hit with 25cm of snow which means it is even harder to get anywhere what with the bus strike, no extra car (and most importantly) no license even if there were an extra. Everyone is pretty much in another city. There is nothing near here. The QCT still hasn't recieved my transcript from Nip (flipping post!) and it has been three months now since I requested it. I have yet to recieve a reply about my application to the Scotland College of Teachers (questions I have about certain parts of the form). Interviews do not begin until another three weeks from now. My grandmother is still in the hospital and we are waiting for her to go into a hospice. My parents are driving me batty. Why my mom thinks she should have MY diploma and transcript for my BA filed away that I didn't know about until two nights ago when I was paniking because it wasn't where I left it is beyond me (and she wanted to know why I wanted them? A simple they are mine is the only answer you need). I need to reshovel the damned stupid walk because I only shoveled the steps that people who are only visiting use (despite it being okay for any fool to walk to and to the front door - there aren't many steps and they are low so any fool can use them unless they are in a wheel chair). There is literally almost no food in the house. I got around to sending M an email just asking for the whole story (I am okay with the fact I was a rebound but why didn't you tell me you were dating your ex again and it is okay that you don't want to be friends with me but why didn't you just tell me - and when did you change your mind? Or did I offend you in some way? Either way I need to know what happened and as soon as you do that I promise you will never have to worry about hearing from me again but I need to know so that I can peice together the last two years of my life and know) but haven't gotten a response yet. That just bothers me more then anything - that he couldn't be bothered to just tell me straight up. And I am totally serious about that. So I am going to send him an offline message over MSN either later today or sometime tomorrow saying I am giving him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't get the email and I am only sending the message there because I know he will get it that way and I am sending the email again. But this. This is worse then anything that J ever did to me. J was a coward but at least he was kind of honest with me and at least he apologised. The relationship with J was ... up and down all the time so you know. But M ... He seems to be a charmer on the outside but has zero guts. I probably look like a fool to everyone on his friends list because I actually asked how Europe is and what countries he decided to visit (knowing perfectly well that he wasn't there) and he never set me straight or even responded on Facebook or any other way. And I am pretty sure I've given him more then enough opportunities to set things straight (not right, just straight). I don't even know if I can really trust or let anyone that close to me again after that because it has only been proven time and time again that they will just throw it away when they got what they wanted or needed from you. After that it doesn't matter.
I feel stuck.
And hungry.
I don't want to be here. We were hit with 25cm of snow which means it is even harder to get anywhere what with the bus strike, no extra car (and most importantly) no license even if there were an extra. Everyone is pretty much in another city. There is nothing near here. The QCT still hasn't recieved my transcript from Nip (flipping post!) and it has been three months now since I requested it. I have yet to recieve a reply about my application to the Scotland College of Teachers (questions I have about certain parts of the form). Interviews do not begin until another three weeks from now. My grandmother is still in the hospital and we are waiting for her to go into a hospice. My parents are driving me batty. Why my mom thinks she should have MY diploma and transcript for my BA filed away that I didn't know about until two nights ago when I was paniking because it wasn't where I left it is beyond me (and she wanted to know why I wanted them? A simple they are mine is the only answer you need). I need to reshovel the damned stupid walk because I only shoveled the steps that people who are only visiting use (despite it being okay for any fool to walk to and to the front door - there aren't many steps and they are low so any fool can use them unless they are in a wheel chair). There is literally almost no food in the house. I got around to sending M an email just asking for the whole story (I am okay with the fact I was a rebound but why didn't you tell me you were dating your ex again and it is okay that you don't want to be friends with me but why didn't you just tell me - and when did you change your mind? Or did I offend you in some way? Either way I need to know what happened and as soon as you do that I promise you will never have to worry about hearing from me again but I need to know so that I can peice together the last two years of my life and know) but haven't gotten a response yet. That just bothers me more then anything - that he couldn't be bothered to just tell me straight up. And I am totally serious about that. So I am going to send him an offline message over MSN either later today or sometime tomorrow saying I am giving him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't get the email and I am only sending the message there because I know he will get it that way and I am sending the email again. But this. This is worse then anything that J ever did to me. J was a coward but at least he was kind of honest with me and at least he apologised. The relationship with J was ... up and down all the time so you know. But M ... He seems to be a charmer on the outside but has zero guts. I probably look like a fool to everyone on his friends list because I actually asked how Europe is and what countries he decided to visit (knowing perfectly well that he wasn't there) and he never set me straight or even responded on Facebook or any other way. And I am pretty sure I've given him more then enough opportunities to set things straight (not right, just straight). I don't even know if I can really trust or let anyone that close to me again after that because it has only been proven time and time again that they will just throw it away when they got what they wanted or needed from you. After that it doesn't matter.