Merry Christmas
So Merry Christmas everyone ...
It has warmed up and there is supposed to be rain today. Will the snow dissappear then?
I find that this year there are many endings. It is really signifying the end of so many things in my life. My Great Uncle passed away a couple weeks ago. My relationship with M ending (and apparently all communication). My Grandmother is now in the hospital as of Monday and her body is failing her. My sister and her husband will be spending Christmas dinner with her husband's family as his mom changed this year to have a Christmas dinner as opposed to a Christmas lunch on Christmas Day. If anything all of this just reinforces that there is nothing here and it is time to go elsewhere. This has never been home and it will never be home for me. This has never felt like home, North Bay never felt like home and Australia never felt like home. I itch to get going. It's not that I really have a travel bug - I just don't feel like I can stay in any one place at the moment. If anything the next contracts start in April. But I am applying to go to Scotland. Maybe being where my bloodline started will bring me home. Or maybe I'm just one of those nomad types.
I am not even saying these things out of self pity or anything like that. To me it is a part of life and just looking at the way things have turned out over the past couple weeks. There are reasons for all these things happening.
The other strange part about this Christmas are my parents. They are actually attending Christmas Eve Mass. My mom hasn't been to Church in a long time and I didn't think she even really believed in much. But you never quite know.
I sent most of my Christmas cards out - all of them will be recieved late that were mailed out. I even sent a quick email to M just saying Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (literally nothing else). If he doesn't even email me I have my answer. As A said to me yesterday it is surprising that he has become like this. It's too bad but I think it is also a good thing for me if he doesn't. It hurts a lot but it's okay.
The great thing was my suitcase finally turned up and everything was still in it. I was so excited to give my sister her uggs on Saturday - and she loved them. I cannot wait to give everyone else their presents!
In February there are so many interviews. I got into contact with this one company and they place people in London area and Scotland. The positions in Scotland are mainly one year contracts whereas in London it's pretty much shorter term contracts. I want the one year contracts ... We'll see what comes of it though.
I hope everyone is having a great Christmas...
It has warmed up and there is supposed to be rain today. Will the snow dissappear then?
I find that this year there are many endings. It is really signifying the end of so many things in my life. My Great Uncle passed away a couple weeks ago. My relationship with M ending (and apparently all communication). My Grandmother is now in the hospital as of Monday and her body is failing her. My sister and her husband will be spending Christmas dinner with her husband's family as his mom changed this year to have a Christmas dinner as opposed to a Christmas lunch on Christmas Day. If anything all of this just reinforces that there is nothing here and it is time to go elsewhere. This has never been home and it will never be home for me. This has never felt like home, North Bay never felt like home and Australia never felt like home. I itch to get going. It's not that I really have a travel bug - I just don't feel like I can stay in any one place at the moment. If anything the next contracts start in April. But I am applying to go to Scotland. Maybe being where my bloodline started will bring me home. Or maybe I'm just one of those nomad types.
I am not even saying these things out of self pity or anything like that. To me it is a part of life and just looking at the way things have turned out over the past couple weeks. There are reasons for all these things happening.
The other strange part about this Christmas are my parents. They are actually attending Christmas Eve Mass. My mom hasn't been to Church in a long time and I didn't think she even really believed in much. But you never quite know.
I sent most of my Christmas cards out - all of them will be recieved late that were mailed out. I even sent a quick email to M just saying Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (literally nothing else). If he doesn't even email me I have my answer. As A said to me yesterday it is surprising that he has become like this. It's too bad but I think it is also a good thing for me if he doesn't. It hurts a lot but it's okay.
The great thing was my suitcase finally turned up and everything was still in it. I was so excited to give my sister her uggs on Saturday - and she loved them. I cannot wait to give everyone else their presents!
In February there are so many interviews. I got into contact with this one company and they place people in London area and Scotland. The positions in Scotland are mainly one year contracts whereas in London it's pretty much shorter term contracts. I want the one year contracts ... We'll see what comes of it though.
I hope everyone is having a great Christmas...