Fic: Well Maybe What You Want is Right Here 16/?
Title: Well Maybe What You Want is Right Here 16/?
Pairing: Arizona/Callie
Rating: M
Summary: Sometimes we don't realize what we want until we just know. And sometimes we realize that certain things are worth fighting for. Starts a day or two after the scene in 11x08. Timeline may not be perfectly canon.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Arizona
It’s our last day of vacation, and although I wake up to what looks like a beautiful day outside, I can’t bear to disturb the still-sleeping brunette beside me. She’s asleep on her stomach, her head turned toward me and her arms framing her face under the pillow, waves of thick, dark hair pooling around her shoulders. She’s so beautiful. So exquisitely, miraculously beautiful.
I can’t stop myself from reaching over and letting my hand smooth over the exposed skin of her back, and I trail my fingers up along her spine, over the impossibly soft skin I spent all of last night mapping with my lips. To know another human being as well as I know Callie is a remarkable thing - to have every curve of their body, every scar and freckle memorized. My fingers know where to find the small birthmark on her shoulder blade, and the faded, faint scar higher up from a childhood fall on the family boat. I know the feel of the round, raised scar along her ribs - the mark from the breathing tube that kept her alive for me - and where to find the small, abstract tattoo on the left side of her lower back, just above her hip. I know it's a rose for her grandmother, Rosa, who was always more of a mother to her than her own was.
“You are...so incredibly sexy.”
The brunette laughs, the faintest blush colouring her cheeks as she picks up a slice of pizza from the box open on the bed.
“Yeah, look who’s talking. And that thing... god, that thing you did...”
I just grin, licking my lips instinctively as I watch her struggle for words, the faint taste of her still lingering in my memory.
“I have years of practice, Calliope. And what can I say, a natural talent.”
She reaches over and rubs a smudge of pizza sauce off my lip, and I dart my tongue out to swirl around her thumb, watching her eyes widen slightly.
“Which I can definitely say you possess as well. I’m kind of glad only one other woman knows how amazing you are. I’m keeping you all to myself.”
Grinning proudly, she eats her last bite of pizza and stretches out beside me, letting the sheet drape lazily, only halfheartedly covering her. My eyes can’t help but wander along the delicious, tanned curves of her body - a body I had been absolutely dying to see since our first kiss months ago - and I reach out to trace my finger over the tattoo that lays above her hip.
“And I like this,” I lean in, placing a warm kiss over it, “it’s beautiful.”
She looks down, a hint of surprise crossing her features.
“Most people I’ve slept with never even noticed it.”
Tracing my thumb along the delicate design of the rose, I feel my lips shift slowly into a smile.
“I’m not most people.”
My thumb traces lazily over the design again as I remember that night and she stirs a little, her lips curving into a smile as she murmurs sleepily.
“What are you doing?”
“Just admiring the beautiful woman in my bed,” I smile, rubbing up over her shoulder and brushing my fingers lightly through her hair, “who happens to be my fiancée now.”
I laugh softly, tucking her hair behind her ear and letting my fingers linger along her neck.
“Again.”
Callie shifts onto her side, dark eyes just quietly studying me.
“It’s a little weird to think about it, isn’t it? To go from calling you my wife to calling you my fiancée again. It's so backwards.”
“A little weird,” I agree, “but, I suppose we’ve never exactly done things the conventional way.”
She smiles, playing with my fingers where they rest on the bed between us now.
“Yeah, that’s for sure.”
I watch our hands silently for a few minutes as she just absently tangles our fingers together.
“Honestly? I didn’t think you’d want to marry me again. Even if we stayed together.”
I glance up when I feel her eyes on me, and she holds my gaze.
“Arizona...when things were good, our marriage was amazing. I loved being able to call you my wife. You gave me the life and the family I'd always wanted.”
“I just didn’t know if you’d ever trust me one hundred percent again, you know?”
She lifts my hand a little, pressing a kiss to my palm.
“Our past is our past now. I love you, and I do trust you - completely.”
A slight twinkle of amusement lights her eyes after a pause.
“I mean, if you ever sleep with anyone else again, woman or...well, woman...I’ll kick the crap out of you.”
Laughing as I remember using that very line myself -- and blushing a little over the fact that she remembers it -- I twine our fingers tightly.
“You definitely don’t have to worry.”
Callie leans closer then, capturing my lips in a warm, soft kiss.
“I’m not.”
"Mm...good," I manage to mumble the word before she nips at my lip, deepening the kiss for all too brief a moment. A wonderful, delicious moment though.
When she leans back, she gently picks up my hand to run her fingertip along the lengths of each digit. The simple touches are one of the things I'd missed the most, one of the things I always cherished between us. Calliope had always been touching me -- whether it was a hand at my back, or absently stroking my hair as we lay together, or playing with my fingers and mapping my bone structure. It was natural for her, not even a conscious thought. But to me it meant everything.
"Do you want another wedding?"
I look up suddenly as she voices the question, and I realize that I don't immediately have an answer.
"I...I don't know. Do you? I suppose it's not really something I ever thought about."
"I don't know either."
Our first wedding had been...perfect. It had been everything Callie ever wanted, and everything I never even knew I did. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined we'd need to think about doing it again.
"Our wedding was...perfect," I sigh a little, almost regretfully, "it was so beautiful. Everything about it. I kind of feel like this time, I just want to be married. I don't need to try and replicate that or outdo it."
I'm a little worried at the answer I give, because I know Callie loves weddings - had always, always dreamed of beautiful white weddings. But as she runs her finger up the inside of my arm, tracing the hidden vein there, she surprises me.
"I kind of just want to elope. We could run away to Vegas and have an Elvis wedding."
A soft laugh catches in my throat, and she grins at me, waggling her eyebrows playfully.
"We could, but I don't know that I really want to bring our four-year-old to Vegas quite yet. And I want her to be there."
Her finger stills over my skin, and her grin turns into more of a warm smile at the thought of our daughter at home.
"Me too. Maybe we could...do something, just us and her. Something small. Even just at city hall, honestly, I'd be happy with that."
"I would be too," I reach over and run a curl of dark hair through my fingers, "and...we can get legally, one hundred percent married this time, Calliope. We can get married and no one -- no one -- can try to deny that we are."
Realization dawns on her face, as if she hadn't even thought about that fact before, and her eyes light up immediately.
"We can get married. Not...domestic partnershipped."
I tuck the hair behind her ear, curling my fingers lightly against her skin and trailing them down along her neck.
"We can. I don't want to wait too long, either. I know we haven't been back together that long, but...it feels right, doesn't it?"
Callie shifts closer, and I feel the heat from her skin as her leg curls around mine under the sheets, tangling us together.
"It feels so, so right."
*
We make it out of bed by lunch time, and decide to spend the last few hours before we need to pack just lounging on the beach. It had taken a little bit of convincing to get me outside in shorts and my bikini top, especially since I don’t have my realistic leg with me, but after making our way down along the beach and not receiving any unwarranted stares, I start to relax. We find a spot and settle down on the warm sand, but before too long the quiet is broken by a slightly irritated voice beside me.
“Yeah, that dude is totally checking you out.”
Callie raises her sunglasses a little, pointedly glaring down the beach at a young guy who had just given me a wide smile as he passed. She shifts closer on the oversized towel we’re sharing and tilts my head toward her, kissing me deeply all of a sudden.
“Mm,” I pull back after a few seconds, a delighted grin tugging at my lips, “a little possessive, are we?”
“You bet I am."
Her response is immediate, and I kiss her lightly again, brushing my nose against hers.
“Why don’t you go get me an iced tea, sweetie, and I’ll stay here and try to fend off admirers?”
Casting a glance back in the direction of the young stranger, who is probably staring now for an entirely different reason, Callie grabs her wallet and pushes herself up, pointing at me with a mock stern face.
“I’ll be right back. Don't hold back any punches.”
I grin as she takes off toward the boardwalk and turn to watch her, enjoying the view of her retreating form before I lean back on my elbows to look out over the water again.
It's incredible what the last little while has done for us.
We were apart for nearly four months, and the four or five before that had been filled with tension and blame and guilt -- there had been so much anger between us, some of which I don't think I even recognized at the time. But now -- thinking back over the last few days and the way we've talked, the way we've just been together easily and happily without a second thought -- it feels so natural again. I think this time we're coming out on top; we're coming out stronger and better than ever and I could not be happier if I tried.
"What are you thinking so hard about?"
The familiar timbre of her voice draws me out of my thoughts a little later, and I tilt my head back to smile up at her.
"Us."
Her smile beams down at me, and she hands me my drink before settling back down beside me.
"I missed the sound of 'us'."
"Me too," I sit up and take a sip of the icy beverage, "we're better together than we are apart."
Callie sets her own drink down, and she holds out her closed fist in front of me.
"I got you something else."
Eyeing her hand a little suspiciously, I set my drink out of the way.
"It's not a bug or a worm is it? Cause Sofia pulls this trick and I keep falling for it and it's always something icky..."
Laughing loudly, the brunette opens her hand and holds the tiny object in her palm.
"Nothing icky."
Nestled in the centre of her hand is a simple band carved out of seashell. The mother-of-pearl gleams in the sun; multicoloured swirls and tones of grey beautifully mixed.
"You got me a ring?"
I smile widely as she takes my hand, sliding the ring onto my left ring finger and holding it close to admire it.
"Well...I did just ask you to marry me. I didn't plan ahead though...and I wanted you to have something..."
"It's beautiful."
I lean closer, cupping her cheek and kissing her softly -- effectively interrupting her -- and I let my hand wander down to rest along the sun-warmed skin of her collarbone.
"I love it, Calliope. Even though you're all I need."
She kisses me again, smiling against my lips as she pulls away.
"But now everyone else knows you're mine too. And I kinda like that."
*
Callie
"We should bring Sofia here some time."
I watch the blonde as she gazes at some children playing in the sand, their giggles dancing through the air as they chase each other. We're back at the Splash Café for a late lunch before we need to leave, and a family sitting nearby has three adorable little kids who they've let loose to run around.
"She would love it, we definitely should," Arizona smiles over at me, tearing her eyes away, "she's never been to a beach."
"Yeah," I glance at the kids again, then poke at the few bites of food left on my plate, "my dad wanted me to bring her to Florida for a visit a few months back, but we didn't go."
"How come?"
Her eyes are curious now as she sips at her lemonade, and I just shrug.
"I mean...I would have been okay with it as long as you told me. I hope you know that."
I nod, giving her a small smile.
"I know you would have. It's a long story."
A blonde eyebrow raises ever so slightly, and she nudges her foot against mine under the table.
"I have time."
Shifting a bit uncomfortably in my chair, I let out a soft sigh. I want to talk about it with her, but I also don't. It feels awkward now, and it's unimportant at this point anyway.
"I talked to my mom."
A beat of silence passes between us, as I expected it would, and I feel Arizona's hand slide across the table and take mine.
"Lucia spoke to you? After all these years, has she actually started to come around? That's probably a stupid question, isn't it, or else you would have gone to visit."
I don't answer right away, casting my eyes to where her hand is curling around mine. I let our fingers hook together and study the simple ring she now wears, the colours of the shell perfectly complimenting the pale pink nail polish she has on. As if my mother would ever come around to her -- to this. I'd buried that hope years ago, but yet somehow the reality still stung painfully.
"I talked to my dad a lot after we separated. He told her we got divorced...you know, just as a general hey here's what's happening in your daughter's life...and she wanted to congratulate me, basically."
The other woman's grip tightens almost imperceptibly on me, and I shake my head a little.
"Maybe not in exactly those words, but she told me how happy she was to hear that you were finally out of the picture -- how relieved she was that I'd 'come to my senses' and stopped 'pretending' I had a real marriage. She told me that I had a whole lot of repenting to do to make up for it all, but that she warned me this would happen anyway. 'This is what happens when you sin, Calliope.'"
I scoff a little before I look up at Arizona and she just remains silent, a dark, steely look in her eyes. Her jaw is tense and she's almost frighteningly still -- I can see it in her face, see the same anger and hurt that I felt that night my mother and I had spoken on the phone.
"Oh, and let's not forget the part where she gave me permission to bring Sofia to see her. I guess, you know, she can reluctantly accept my bastard child as long as she can pretend she doesn't have two mothers. She even had the nerve to offer to introduce me to the son of one of her lawyer friends. As if she'd been planning it all along. After we'd only been separated a month!"
I hate the bitterness in my voice as I remember the conversation, but that's all I can bring myself to feel when it comes to my mother anymore. My father had taken the phone back from her quickly and apologized profusely, his sorrow genuine when he told me again that he was very sorry things hadn't worked out between Arizona and I. He'd even tried to convince me to work on things some more, to try more therapy, or whatever it might take. My father loved all of us, but that had truly been the moment that I knew my mother never would.
"Calliope..."
Her voice is soft when she finally speaks, her other hand coming up to cradle mine between her own. I raise my eyes and meet hers again, and although the underlying anger is still there, it's been replaced by a sadness and an almost fierce protectiveness as she holds my gaze.
"I'm sorry."
Mustering up a small smile, I just shake my head a little. The feel of her warm hands surrounding mine is enough to ease some of the tension from my body.
"I'm over it, I guess. It just makes me so angry."
"And rightfully so," she tilts her head a little, "you've done nothing to deserve any of what she's thrown at you."
"I'm just glad Sofia has one grandmother who loves her. I just -- " I sigh, "for a few brief seconds I thought maybe she would be my mom again, you know? And then the things she said..."
My voice trails off, and I swallow a small lump in my throat.
"That hurt even more than what she said before our wedding. What kind of parent says they're happy their kid's heart is broken? That their whole life has fallen apart? Who says that?"
She squeezes my hand again, and the gesture sends a wave of comfort through me.
"I don't know, Calliope. But I hope you know how much my mom loves you...it'll never be the same, I know, and she can't replace your own, but...she really, really loves you. For what it's worth."
It's worth a lot. I realized just how much over the last six months. And so I can't help the small smile I give her, thinking of the older blonde woman currently inhabiting our home; the surrogate mother who hadn't even abandoned me after I was no longer married to her daughter, after I broke her daughter's heart. She'd told me once that Arizona was okay with us talking, but that she wouldn't have given her a choice in the matter anyway. She'd said she would never abandon her granddaughter, and she would never shut me out either because we were family. It's almost like she knew something neither of us could figure out.
"I know -- and it means everything to me."
The blonde gives me a brilliant smile, and she lifts my hand to press a soft kiss to my knuckles. When she looks at me like that, with that dazzling, super magic smile, I can't help but match it immediately with my own. It stirs something deep inside me; she makes me feel like everything is always going to be alright.
"You're so much like her, Arizona."
She almost beams a little then, obviously happy, and a little surprised at the comparison.
"We both are. Our children will never, ever, think they're not loved and accepted."
And there it is again. I catch her fleeting choice of words like I did months ago at lunch, and although I'm not certain she chose it deliberately -- she slips it in seemingly without thought, and without hesitation, maybe just without even realizing -- she says it nonetheless.
Children.
A smile tugs at my lips again, and I relish the adoring look in those blue eyes. My heart almost bursts with the idea of raising another baby with this woman, with the idea of realizing the dream I'd held for so long when we were together -- but I don't say a word, and I store away that feeling for another time.
For now, all that matters is us.
And she is my dream first and foremost.
Pairing: Arizona/Callie
Rating: M
Summary: Sometimes we don't realize what we want until we just know. And sometimes we realize that certain things are worth fighting for. Starts a day or two after the scene in 11x08. Timeline may not be perfectly canon.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Arizona
It’s our last day of vacation, and although I wake up to what looks like a beautiful day outside, I can’t bear to disturb the still-sleeping brunette beside me. She’s asleep on her stomach, her head turned toward me and her arms framing her face under the pillow, waves of thick, dark hair pooling around her shoulders. She’s so beautiful. So exquisitely, miraculously beautiful.
I can’t stop myself from reaching over and letting my hand smooth over the exposed skin of her back, and I trail my fingers up along her spine, over the impossibly soft skin I spent all of last night mapping with my lips. To know another human being as well as I know Callie is a remarkable thing - to have every curve of their body, every scar and freckle memorized. My fingers know where to find the small birthmark on her shoulder blade, and the faded, faint scar higher up from a childhood fall on the family boat. I know the feel of the round, raised scar along her ribs - the mark from the breathing tube that kept her alive for me - and where to find the small, abstract tattoo on the left side of her lower back, just above her hip. I know it's a rose for her grandmother, Rosa, who was always more of a mother to her than her own was.
“You are...so incredibly sexy.”
The brunette laughs, the faintest blush colouring her cheeks as she picks up a slice of pizza from the box open on the bed.
“Yeah, look who’s talking. And that thing... god, that thing you did...”
I just grin, licking my lips instinctively as I watch her struggle for words, the faint taste of her still lingering in my memory.
“I have years of practice, Calliope. And what can I say, a natural talent.”
She reaches over and rubs a smudge of pizza sauce off my lip, and I dart my tongue out to swirl around her thumb, watching her eyes widen slightly.
“Which I can definitely say you possess as well. I’m kind of glad only one other woman knows how amazing you are. I’m keeping you all to myself.”
Grinning proudly, she eats her last bite of pizza and stretches out beside me, letting the sheet drape lazily, only halfheartedly covering her. My eyes can’t help but wander along the delicious, tanned curves of her body - a body I had been absolutely dying to see since our first kiss months ago - and I reach out to trace my finger over the tattoo that lays above her hip.
“And I like this,” I lean in, placing a warm kiss over it, “it’s beautiful.”
She looks down, a hint of surprise crossing her features.
“Most people I’ve slept with never even noticed it.”
Tracing my thumb along the delicate design of the rose, I feel my lips shift slowly into a smile.
“I’m not most people.”
My thumb traces lazily over the design again as I remember that night and she stirs a little, her lips curving into a smile as she murmurs sleepily.
“What are you doing?”
“Just admiring the beautiful woman in my bed,” I smile, rubbing up over her shoulder and brushing my fingers lightly through her hair, “who happens to be my fiancée now.”
I laugh softly, tucking her hair behind her ear and letting my fingers linger along her neck.
“Again.”
Callie shifts onto her side, dark eyes just quietly studying me.
“It’s a little weird to think about it, isn’t it? To go from calling you my wife to calling you my fiancée again. It's so backwards.”
“A little weird,” I agree, “but, I suppose we’ve never exactly done things the conventional way.”
She smiles, playing with my fingers where they rest on the bed between us now.
“Yeah, that’s for sure.”
I watch our hands silently for a few minutes as she just absently tangles our fingers together.
“Honestly? I didn’t think you’d want to marry me again. Even if we stayed together.”
I glance up when I feel her eyes on me, and she holds my gaze.
“Arizona...when things were good, our marriage was amazing. I loved being able to call you my wife. You gave me the life and the family I'd always wanted.”
“I just didn’t know if you’d ever trust me one hundred percent again, you know?”
She lifts my hand a little, pressing a kiss to my palm.
“Our past is our past now. I love you, and I do trust you - completely.”
A slight twinkle of amusement lights her eyes after a pause.
“I mean, if you ever sleep with anyone else again, woman or...well, woman...I’ll kick the crap out of you.”
Laughing as I remember using that very line myself -- and blushing a little over the fact that she remembers it -- I twine our fingers tightly.
“You definitely don’t have to worry.”
Callie leans closer then, capturing my lips in a warm, soft kiss.
“I’m not.”
"Mm...good," I manage to mumble the word before she nips at my lip, deepening the kiss for all too brief a moment. A wonderful, delicious moment though.
When she leans back, she gently picks up my hand to run her fingertip along the lengths of each digit. The simple touches are one of the things I'd missed the most, one of the things I always cherished between us. Calliope had always been touching me -- whether it was a hand at my back, or absently stroking my hair as we lay together, or playing with my fingers and mapping my bone structure. It was natural for her, not even a conscious thought. But to me it meant everything.
"Do you want another wedding?"
I look up suddenly as she voices the question, and I realize that I don't immediately have an answer.
"I...I don't know. Do you? I suppose it's not really something I ever thought about."
"I don't know either."
Our first wedding had been...perfect. It had been everything Callie ever wanted, and everything I never even knew I did. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined we'd need to think about doing it again.
"Our wedding was...perfect," I sigh a little, almost regretfully, "it was so beautiful. Everything about it. I kind of feel like this time, I just want to be married. I don't need to try and replicate that or outdo it."
I'm a little worried at the answer I give, because I know Callie loves weddings - had always, always dreamed of beautiful white weddings. But as she runs her finger up the inside of my arm, tracing the hidden vein there, she surprises me.
"I kind of just want to elope. We could run away to Vegas and have an Elvis wedding."
A soft laugh catches in my throat, and she grins at me, waggling her eyebrows playfully.
"We could, but I don't know that I really want to bring our four-year-old to Vegas quite yet. And I want her to be there."
Her finger stills over my skin, and her grin turns into more of a warm smile at the thought of our daughter at home.
"Me too. Maybe we could...do something, just us and her. Something small. Even just at city hall, honestly, I'd be happy with that."
"I would be too," I reach over and run a curl of dark hair through my fingers, "and...we can get legally, one hundred percent married this time, Calliope. We can get married and no one -- no one -- can try to deny that we are."
Realization dawns on her face, as if she hadn't even thought about that fact before, and her eyes light up immediately.
"We can get married. Not...domestic partnershipped."
I tuck the hair behind her ear, curling my fingers lightly against her skin and trailing them down along her neck.
"We can. I don't want to wait too long, either. I know we haven't been back together that long, but...it feels right, doesn't it?"
Callie shifts closer, and I feel the heat from her skin as her leg curls around mine under the sheets, tangling us together.
"It feels so, so right."
*
We make it out of bed by lunch time, and decide to spend the last few hours before we need to pack just lounging on the beach. It had taken a little bit of convincing to get me outside in shorts and my bikini top, especially since I don’t have my realistic leg with me, but after making our way down along the beach and not receiving any unwarranted stares, I start to relax. We find a spot and settle down on the warm sand, but before too long the quiet is broken by a slightly irritated voice beside me.
“Yeah, that dude is totally checking you out.”
Callie raises her sunglasses a little, pointedly glaring down the beach at a young guy who had just given me a wide smile as he passed. She shifts closer on the oversized towel we’re sharing and tilts my head toward her, kissing me deeply all of a sudden.
“Mm,” I pull back after a few seconds, a delighted grin tugging at my lips, “a little possessive, are we?”
“You bet I am."
Her response is immediate, and I kiss her lightly again, brushing my nose against hers.
“Why don’t you go get me an iced tea, sweetie, and I’ll stay here and try to fend off admirers?”
Casting a glance back in the direction of the young stranger, who is probably staring now for an entirely different reason, Callie grabs her wallet and pushes herself up, pointing at me with a mock stern face.
“I’ll be right back. Don't hold back any punches.”
I grin as she takes off toward the boardwalk and turn to watch her, enjoying the view of her retreating form before I lean back on my elbows to look out over the water again.
It's incredible what the last little while has done for us.
We were apart for nearly four months, and the four or five before that had been filled with tension and blame and guilt -- there had been so much anger between us, some of which I don't think I even recognized at the time. But now -- thinking back over the last few days and the way we've talked, the way we've just been together easily and happily without a second thought -- it feels so natural again. I think this time we're coming out on top; we're coming out stronger and better than ever and I could not be happier if I tried.
"What are you thinking so hard about?"
The familiar timbre of her voice draws me out of my thoughts a little later, and I tilt my head back to smile up at her.
"Us."
Her smile beams down at me, and she hands me my drink before settling back down beside me.
"I missed the sound of 'us'."
"Me too," I sit up and take a sip of the icy beverage, "we're better together than we are apart."
Callie sets her own drink down, and she holds out her closed fist in front of me.
"I got you something else."
Eyeing her hand a little suspiciously, I set my drink out of the way.
"It's not a bug or a worm is it? Cause Sofia pulls this trick and I keep falling for it and it's always something icky..."
Laughing loudly, the brunette opens her hand and holds the tiny object in her palm.
"Nothing icky."
Nestled in the centre of her hand is a simple band carved out of seashell. The mother-of-pearl gleams in the sun; multicoloured swirls and tones of grey beautifully mixed.
"You got me a ring?"
I smile widely as she takes my hand, sliding the ring onto my left ring finger and holding it close to admire it.
"Well...I did just ask you to marry me. I didn't plan ahead though...and I wanted you to have something..."
"It's beautiful."
I lean closer, cupping her cheek and kissing her softly -- effectively interrupting her -- and I let my hand wander down to rest along the sun-warmed skin of her collarbone.
"I love it, Calliope. Even though you're all I need."
She kisses me again, smiling against my lips as she pulls away.
"But now everyone else knows you're mine too. And I kinda like that."
*
Callie
"We should bring Sofia here some time."
I watch the blonde as she gazes at some children playing in the sand, their giggles dancing through the air as they chase each other. We're back at the Splash Café for a late lunch before we need to leave, and a family sitting nearby has three adorable little kids who they've let loose to run around.
"She would love it, we definitely should," Arizona smiles over at me, tearing her eyes away, "she's never been to a beach."
"Yeah," I glance at the kids again, then poke at the few bites of food left on my plate, "my dad wanted me to bring her to Florida for a visit a few months back, but we didn't go."
"How come?"
Her eyes are curious now as she sips at her lemonade, and I just shrug.
"I mean...I would have been okay with it as long as you told me. I hope you know that."
I nod, giving her a small smile.
"I know you would have. It's a long story."
A blonde eyebrow raises ever so slightly, and she nudges her foot against mine under the table.
"I have time."
Shifting a bit uncomfortably in my chair, I let out a soft sigh. I want to talk about it with her, but I also don't. It feels awkward now, and it's unimportant at this point anyway.
"I talked to my mom."
A beat of silence passes between us, as I expected it would, and I feel Arizona's hand slide across the table and take mine.
"Lucia spoke to you? After all these years, has she actually started to come around? That's probably a stupid question, isn't it, or else you would have gone to visit."
I don't answer right away, casting my eyes to where her hand is curling around mine. I let our fingers hook together and study the simple ring she now wears, the colours of the shell perfectly complimenting the pale pink nail polish she has on. As if my mother would ever come around to her -- to this. I'd buried that hope years ago, but yet somehow the reality still stung painfully.
"I talked to my dad a lot after we separated. He told her we got divorced...you know, just as a general hey here's what's happening in your daughter's life...and she wanted to congratulate me, basically."
The other woman's grip tightens almost imperceptibly on me, and I shake my head a little.
"Maybe not in exactly those words, but she told me how happy she was to hear that you were finally out of the picture -- how relieved she was that I'd 'come to my senses' and stopped 'pretending' I had a real marriage. She told me that I had a whole lot of repenting to do to make up for it all, but that she warned me this would happen anyway. 'This is what happens when you sin, Calliope.'"
I scoff a little before I look up at Arizona and she just remains silent, a dark, steely look in her eyes. Her jaw is tense and she's almost frighteningly still -- I can see it in her face, see the same anger and hurt that I felt that night my mother and I had spoken on the phone.
"Oh, and let's not forget the part where she gave me permission to bring Sofia to see her. I guess, you know, she can reluctantly accept my bastard child as long as she can pretend she doesn't have two mothers. She even had the nerve to offer to introduce me to the son of one of her lawyer friends. As if she'd been planning it all along. After we'd only been separated a month!"
I hate the bitterness in my voice as I remember the conversation, but that's all I can bring myself to feel when it comes to my mother anymore. My father had taken the phone back from her quickly and apologized profusely, his sorrow genuine when he told me again that he was very sorry things hadn't worked out between Arizona and I. He'd even tried to convince me to work on things some more, to try more therapy, or whatever it might take. My father loved all of us, but that had truly been the moment that I knew my mother never would.
"Calliope..."
Her voice is soft when she finally speaks, her other hand coming up to cradle mine between her own. I raise my eyes and meet hers again, and although the underlying anger is still there, it's been replaced by a sadness and an almost fierce protectiveness as she holds my gaze.
"I'm sorry."
Mustering up a small smile, I just shake my head a little. The feel of her warm hands surrounding mine is enough to ease some of the tension from my body.
"I'm over it, I guess. It just makes me so angry."
"And rightfully so," she tilts her head a little, "you've done nothing to deserve any of what she's thrown at you."
"I'm just glad Sofia has one grandmother who loves her. I just -- " I sigh, "for a few brief seconds I thought maybe she would be my mom again, you know? And then the things she said..."
My voice trails off, and I swallow a small lump in my throat.
"That hurt even more than what she said before our wedding. What kind of parent says they're happy their kid's heart is broken? That their whole life has fallen apart? Who says that?"
She squeezes my hand again, and the gesture sends a wave of comfort through me.
"I don't know, Calliope. But I hope you know how much my mom loves you...it'll never be the same, I know, and she can't replace your own, but...she really, really loves you. For what it's worth."
It's worth a lot. I realized just how much over the last six months. And so I can't help the small smile I give her, thinking of the older blonde woman currently inhabiting our home; the surrogate mother who hadn't even abandoned me after I was no longer married to her daughter, after I broke her daughter's heart. She'd told me once that Arizona was okay with us talking, but that she wouldn't have given her a choice in the matter anyway. She'd said she would never abandon her granddaughter, and she would never shut me out either because we were family. It's almost like she knew something neither of us could figure out.
"I know -- and it means everything to me."
The blonde gives me a brilliant smile, and she lifts my hand to press a soft kiss to my knuckles. When she looks at me like that, with that dazzling, super magic smile, I can't help but match it immediately with my own. It stirs something deep inside me; she makes me feel like everything is always going to be alright.
"You're so much like her, Arizona."
She almost beams a little then, obviously happy, and a little surprised at the comparison.
"We both are. Our children will never, ever, think they're not loved and accepted."
And there it is again. I catch her fleeting choice of words like I did months ago at lunch, and although I'm not certain she chose it deliberately -- she slips it in seemingly without thought, and without hesitation, maybe just without even realizing -- she says it nonetheless.
Children.
A smile tugs at my lips again, and I relish the adoring look in those blue eyes. My heart almost bursts with the idea of raising another baby with this woman, with the idea of realizing the dream I'd held for so long when we were together -- but I don't say a word, and I store away that feeling for another time.
For now, all that matters is us.
And she is my dream first and foremost.