(no subject)
I'm going to try to write something new every day. It may just be journalling, or I might someday start a story. Or I could even try my hand at poetry. I just realized the other day that I haven't done any creative writing in years. I guess college really does suck the fun and creativity out of everything.
I've finally reached the final 100 pages of The Fountainhead. I've been reading it since my trip to France, and I've never found a book so bursting with food for thought. While I don't really agree with much of Ayn Rand's philosophy, she does have a keen ability to inspire self reflection in her readers... so much so that I often feel like it can't all fit in my brain. The Fountainhead centers around the virtues of integrity, strength of character, and competance in one's work. And let's not forget that the entire book is one long sales pitch for capitalism. But it's hard not to wonder whether I have the tendencies of what Rourke calls a "second-hander". Am I someone who's self-esteem only exists in the eyes of other people? Am I someone who has no integrity, save for when other people are watching? Am I someone who takes pride in my work, regardless on what other people think? More and more the title of "second-hander" seems to fit better than it would have even a few years ago. It's not all despair, however. Somewhere in all the self-doubt I also see a flicker of hope that I can turn this around - that I could maybe become a person of integrity once again. Like I used to be.
I've been feeling the need lately to work with kids again. I'm beginning to realize that without children around me I tend to take my life too seriously. Children really do keep me young, mentally and spiritually. So I've started answering ads for babysitters, and I'm trying to renew my volunteering at Children's.
I suppose that's enough reflection for one entry. Time to go meet with perspective employers!
I've finally reached the final 100 pages of The Fountainhead. I've been reading it since my trip to France, and I've never found a book so bursting with food for thought. While I don't really agree with much of Ayn Rand's philosophy, she does have a keen ability to inspire self reflection in her readers... so much so that I often feel like it can't all fit in my brain. The Fountainhead centers around the virtues of integrity, strength of character, and competance in one's work. And let's not forget that the entire book is one long sales pitch for capitalism. But it's hard not to wonder whether I have the tendencies of what Rourke calls a "second-hander". Am I someone who's self-esteem only exists in the eyes of other people? Am I someone who has no integrity, save for when other people are watching? Am I someone who takes pride in my work, regardless on what other people think? More and more the title of "second-hander" seems to fit better than it would have even a few years ago. It's not all despair, however. Somewhere in all the self-doubt I also see a flicker of hope that I can turn this around - that I could maybe become a person of integrity once again. Like I used to be.
I've been feeling the need lately to work with kids again. I'm beginning to realize that without children around me I tend to take my life too seriously. Children really do keep me young, mentally and spiritually. So I've started answering ads for babysitters, and I'm trying to renew my volunteering at Children's.
I suppose that's enough reflection for one entry. Time to go meet with perspective employers!