Types of parent’s reactions on tragic news (in Japan)
Typical reaction of pregnant woman on the tragic news (her pregnancy loss) could be described in two phases.
(1) First phase, immediately after a trouble was detected and pronounced by the doctor is: numbness for about 90% of pregnant women and denial for 10% cases.
(2) Second phase, what occurs right in front of medical staffs in clinic is: a weeping for about 20 - 30% of cases. A self-isolation (emotionally and even physically, such as they hide of their face from medical staff and other patients) is typical for 60% of women. Part of women is able to let them cry in front of medicals together with trustable person only (life partner). Otherwise they keep emotional isolation. The medical staff should realize that.
Typical reaction of partner (father) on the tragic news could be described in three phases.
(1) First of all coming numbness in almost 100% cases, then men begin to ask a questions, because want to be sure that they understood correctly, want to know what has happened and need to get an information to explain for woman and relatives later.
(2) The second phase could be described with three types of actions: the first type of men are very supportive (they hold woman’s hand, embrace her shoulders) in 60% of cases, other men seem they completely forgot about the woman next to them and persistently continue to ask the doctor more questions as their denial reaction, in 30-40% of cases. About 5-10% of men criticize the mother in front of medical staff to protect them from taking responsibility. That reaction also could be an indicator of not good relation between partners.
(3) The third phase, an anger, exists not in all cases and it strongly depends on how professionally doctor care on the patients with delivery of the tragic news. Gradually and kindly explanation of the unexpected fact can reduce father’s angry reaction to a big amount of questions only.
Typical reaction of the pregnant woman’s relatives on the tragic news has different features.
They visit the clinic some time after for satisfaction of the natural desire to know the real information about the event. Undoubtedly, parents, who lost their baby, are not able to explain correctly what happened. Then, relatives do not trust the information given by the parents and want to see the doctor directly. Relatives sometimes visit in groups, and then one of them is usually acts aggressively, it could provoke all of them to start acting the same way eventually. Furthermore, the relative prejudgment makes communication more difficult.
Tatiana A. Romanova, DVM, PhD
North Concept, INC,
Project: "Humanized Childbirth and Perinatal Grief Care"
With gratitude to Dr. Masato Takeuchi for beneficial discussion.