Round 7

[norse_kink]

ROUND 7 IS NOW CLOSED.

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Sequel: Three Against Three Thousand 2b/3

[purplemoon3]

When Tony's communicator went off and Captain America's voice rumbled out in appalled undertones of, "Avengers, assemble," Tony had expected something like Doctor Doom attacking an orphanage for lab subjects or something. He didn't expect a little girl, who according to Thor was not a little girl at all, to be attacking one of the few hold-outs in ground breaking medical research that Stark Industries had yet to gain a majority of shares. JARVIS uploaded the latest data feed and stock numbers, but for the life of him Iron Man couldn't figure out why any villain would march against Niveus. They specialized in influenza vaccinations, for Christ's sake, and it was in a large part due to their efforts that the pandemic of 1918 hadn't been repeated.

"Brother!" Thor exclaimed, floating up to the roof of the building covered in green flames. At first Tony had thought the color was caused by burning, and most likely toxic, chemicals but after JARVIS scanned the surrounding air he nixed that idea. Comparative analysis had, however, revealed odd similarities between the fire, the energy blasts the girl was throwing around like Mardi Gras beads, and Thor's hammer shaped security blanket. "We thought you taken by the Void, stop this and we can return to Asgard. The healers can-"

"SHUT UP, THOR!" The purple garbed girl screamed, and suddenly instead of a highly destructive magical girl stood a tall, dark, tasty looking drink of water wielding a scepter of Goldshluager. She -he- was still wearing the skirt, though, and it left Tony wondering how sure Thor was of his brother's... brother-y ness. The guy had a very nice pair of toned legs that went forever, and the now emerald shirt and skirt combo brought out the deliciously drunken man's eyes. Tony was grateful for the change, partly because he appreciated all sexes, races, and genders, and partly because it had been damned awkward firing repulsor blasts at a ten year old. "I DO WHAT I WANT!!!"

Loki, as their Norse Mythology consultant informed them over the communicators, made a cutting motion with the cinnamon spiced drink which somehow caused a spike of energy that sent Hawkeye's trio of arrows back at the archer. From JARVIS's continual scans, it looked as if the crazed god was using the gold flakes floating in the red liquid as an energy focus.

Tony was suddenly thankful for his armor, because he was starting to reconsider his magic is stupid stance. The look on Pepper's face when he insisted to classify his wine cabinet as an armory... and damn but no man should be that flexible. Tony sucked in an impressed breath as Loki twisted and flipped to avoid a thrown hammer, shield, and what might have been a hand grenade. Though Tony wasn't sure where that last had come from.

A rumble of thunder and the accompanying crackle of lightning dragged Iron Man back to the fight at hand. "Loki! Please, there are no warriors here, simply scholars and healers! Whatever grievance you have take it up with me. The Midgardians are no threat to you. This, this is madness!"

Tony winced as a new figure walked out onto the roof from the building. The trench coat whirled dramatically around the arrivals legs as he took one last drag from a cigarette and flicked it to the flames. His growl cut through the sounds of battle, and the actions that followed warmed what passed for Tony's heart. The Iron Man was incredibly, incredibly glad that everything was being recorded, for posterity's sake if nothing else.

"No." Blue eyed and scruffy bit out as he began a purposeful march that turned to a run at Thor's hovering position. "This. Is. SPARTA!"

Sequel: Three Against Three Thousand 2c/3

[purplemoon3]

"I'll drink to that!" A bar patron laughed while ordering another shot. After the call to Bobby, luckily the old hunter was such a night owl, he'd ordered the boys to find a TV, and after rushing to check out of their motel room a bar was their best bet. Sam and Dean were regular patrons of the less refined establishments, and so found it oddly endearing that the local populace would gather around the pub's only TV to play an Avengers drinking game.

"You know, that was entirely your fault." Sam huffed as the live helicopter broadcast showed Thor getting kicked in the chest by an angel -not that anyone else knew that- and crushing someone's car on the landing. Everyone watching took a shot for personal property damage. Including the Winchesters. Dean decided he liked the game.

"Hey," Dean defended. "It was for morale. Small numbers against impossible odds, you know?"

"They all died at Thermopylae, Dean."

There was another shot to be had when Captain America threw his shield, in fact there was a shot for every surface it bounced off of.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't like we had any great plans to survive." Dean opened his mouth to say more, but was cut off as one of the rowdier patrons called out 'fresh face' and everyone ordered more pretzels. Dean couldn't decide if he should be horrified or amused when Gabriel snapped his fingers and summoned an army of winged monkeys. On the one hand, it was Gabriel. On the other, it wasn't Dean. And they were monkeys, with wings. "And besides, their sacrifice allowed the rest of Greece to get their act together, right?"

Sam frowned but didn't contend with Dean's logic. On some things, his older brother was worse than their dad. "Huh." Sam hummed in thought as Castiel held out his hand, into which Mjolnir flew with barley a pause. Thor was gaping like a fish, going red, which in typical Cas fashion the angel ignored. Lightning struck both sides of the renegade messenger, highlighting awesome black, shadowy wings.

"Yoink." TV Cas said with a seriousness that made Dean feel warm and fuzzy inside. It reminded him of a little of when Cas showed up like the fucking cavalry and lightning zapped Alistair away. (He just wouldn't think of what happened after.)

More lightning.

Everyone took a shot.

End Part Two.

Re: Sequel: Three Against Three Thousand 2c/3

[cancerjanus]

My mind can barely handle the greatness that is your writing. Flying monkeys, the This Is Sparta comment, and drunk angel texting made feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Re: Sequel: Three Against Three Thousand 2c/3

[ext_1023615]

I...I...I want to marry you. T_T This is fabulous. I haven't laughed so hard in forever. It's a perfect, believable crossover, the perfect mix of hilarity and seriousness, and even the characters' craziest actions are still somehow in character. It's like the Avengers if it were directed by Erik Kripke, which is awesome (not that Jos Whedon isn't). The "This is Sparta," the "I do what I want," the drunk texting, the drinking game...OMG. You have no idea. I worship you. XD MOAR PLEASE!

Re: Sequel: Three Against Three Thousand 2c/3

[purplemoon3]

Cas can wield Mjolnir. There are no words for how awesome (and hilarious) all of this is.