Round 5
Round 5 is now closed.
Welcome to norsekink .
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: Spoiler policy is now in place. For more information, go here.
NOTE: We've noticed that some of the prompts being posted have Thor characters only making cameos or not featured at all. We realize that Thor is closely involved in the Avengers, but we're requesting that any ( Read more... )
Welcome to norsekink .
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: Spoiler policy is now in place. For more information, go here.
NOTE: We've noticed that some of the prompts being posted have Thor characters only making cameos or not featured at all. We realize that Thor is closely involved in the Avengers, but we're requesting that any ( Read more... )
The norse god bounded into view, a small tablet clutched in his hands.
"JARVIS--" Tony began, but the AI was already opening the door without waiting for the pass code or permission. One smashed glass door was apparently enough for the house.
"Stark! Look at this!" Thor thrust the tablet into Tony's face. Tony took the computer off his hands, so he could hold it at a readable distance--
"What do you got there, big guy?" --and then regretted it a moment later, because it was a very explicit description of french kissing, which, good writing, but wow, there should definitely be warning signs before you read about your archenemy and your friend getting it on. Especially when they're calling each other 'brother' between kisses. "What is this?"
The top of the page said it was a 'kink meme.' That explained it.
"Evidence."
Tony choked, fingers tightening around the edges of the tablet so he wouldn't drop it in shock. "Excuse me?"
"Last week, you said no one but I felt that Loki was capable of saving. But look! Many people on these interwebs have expressed a belief that my brother can been dissuaded from his current activities."
Tony reflected that it took a special kind of mind to read hundreds of pages of incestuous porn and get only a solid vote for redemption. Thor's face fell as he watched Tony closely.
"You do not believe me," he surmised. "Perhaps one of the other tales with prove more persuasive. Here, let me show you--"
"No." Tony tried to be polite but firm and not desperate.
"But these people have imagined so many ways for me to reach my brother. Surely, if they can create hundreds of scenarios where we reconcile, there should be at least one way I can do so in reality."
"That's not how statistics work."
Thor scowled. "If you are still not convinced, you will read more until you understand."
Tony had been threatened with a lot of things over the course of a life of excess and superhero theatrics. Being forced to read porn about people he knew was a new one.
"How did you find this, anyway?" He was sure he'd had JARVIS set child controls on all of Thor's permissions.
"Burton showed me." It seemed like it was time to remind some people whose house they lived in.
Tony slapped Thor on the shoulder and handed back the tablet. "Okay, buddy, tell you what. I'll not be sarcastic at all next time Loki turns the mannequins into zombies and lets them loose during Black Friday, and you think you can talk him out of it. But you know, no one really listens to me during those meetings--" The way Thor nodded his head, Tony reflected, was really unnecessary. "--so the people you really need to convince are Coulson and Fury."
"You are correct, Stark." Thor clasped Tony's shoulder in a way that was going to leave fingertip bruises. "Thank you for your advice." The norse god left, and Tony went back to his work, but first--
"JARVIS, replace all of Clint's search terms with 'Thor/Loki' for the next, oh, five days. And no letting him cheat by having others search for him. They try help, they also get the replacement term."
"Very good, sir."
"And after Thor talks to Coulson and Fury, send a mass email to all of SHIELD from Clint's address to give them the heads up that he's initiated Thor into the online world of porn involving us and Loki, and Thor is very eager to share."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm only trying protect them from being caught unaware like I was."
"Right, sir."
Then, it was time to get back to work.
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Hahahaha! XD
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And yes-- Tony reflected that it took a special kind of mind to read hundreds of pages of incestuous porn and get only a solid vote for redemption-- this is a special kind of funny. XD
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That way I get your brain in the divorce-- Oh, silly me, there is no divorce because I LOVE you for this fic! XD
Oh, Thor, you are a sweetheart. Go! Save your brother with lines stolen from porny fanfiction!
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And the zombie thing also awesome.
Y'know what? This whole thing. Awesome.
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Tony reflected that it took a special kind of mind to read hundreds of pages of incestuous porn and get only a solid vote for redemption. Yep, 'special' is one word for it...
This is delightfully mad, and Tony's revenge on Clint madly delightful XD
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