Round 5
Round 5 is now closed.
Welcome to norsekink .
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: Spoiler policy is now in place. For more information, go here.
NOTE: We've noticed that some of the prompts being posted have Thor characters only making cameos or not featured at all. We realize that Thor is closely involved in the Avengers, but we're requesting that any ( Read more... )
Welcome to norsekink .
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: Spoiler policy is now in place. For more information, go here.
NOTE: We've noticed that some of the prompts being posted have Thor characters only making cameos or not featured at all. We realize that Thor is closely involved in the Avengers, but we're requesting that any ( Read more... )
"Are you serious? Marry your brother? A few problems there buddy. He's male. And an alien. And evil. Not to mention, crazy. Seriously, have you lost your mind?" All things Tony probably shouldn't have said but he was nursing a couple of bruises and shots and didn't particularly give a damn what came out of his mouth right now, even to the hammer happy Norse god in front of him. The still very pissed off Norse god.
Thor was frowning at him, and Tony looked anxiously around for Mjölnir. Thankfully it seemed to have been left...well wherever Thor left it when he wasn't holding it. That thing hurt like a mother, even protected by a suit of iron. Tony felt like a giant walking bruise and still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Loki was pregnant.
"My brother's honor has been sullied enough. Father will not reject this child if my brother is lawfully married for once. The last three he had were bastards and unsuitable. And the eldest...well, my brother would never be able to marry a horse." Tony blinked, because seriously, a horse? "Therefore, being that I know son of Stark you are an honorable man, you will concede to my demands."
"Right and I suppose the little bride would be happy with this as well huh? Wouldn't wake up to a knife in the throat one day? Are you nuts?" Tony was practically yelling that last bit out. There was no way in hell he was going to marry Loki, child or no child. And really, Loki lies! Who was to say that child was even his?
"Do not be absurd, Loki would never kill his own husband." And that, was perhaps almost crazier then anything else Thor had said since this little revelation considering the number of times Loki had tried to kill his own brother. And had thrown Tony out a window several times.
"Step back there big guy, we don't even know if this kid is really mine," and shit, Tony was the one stepping back because even without the hammer Thor still had inches and pounds of muscle on him. And was twitching. "You just said yourself, not exactly the most monogamous! And he lies!" He had his hands up in the universal gesture for 'I surrender'.
"My brother would never lie about the father of his own children. Especially if it could gain him an advantage. He is aware you are a man of science, you would want...those tests you do. And never has he slept with multiple partners at one time and if he were not in trouble right now, I would smash you to a pulp." Tony was imagining mangled genitals and true, Thor was right, no way Tony would have supported any kid without extensive DNA testing. And Loki, being more versed in the ways of earth, would know this.
"Supporting the kid and marrying Loki are two things that shouldn't mix. I would probably screw up this kid more then Loki would! I'm pretty sure your brother doesn't care about his honor on Asgard right now. He seems to have everything handled."
Handled by blowing up banks to get money. Who knew where the hell the guy even lived. This kid was probably going to turn out to be some holy nightmare.
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It's nice that there's actually a good cause for Thor's big brother act (namely to protect the child), rather than some nebulous need to avenge Loki's 'honor'.
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Tony, you might as well accept your fate as future Prince Consort to a God.
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"So...Loki is a woman who you got pregnant? Am I hearing Thor correctly or am I just trapped in some weird hallucination?" Clint said coming into the kitchen soon after Thor had left. Tony groaned into the table where he was resting his head and flipped him off.
"Loki is a woman. And pregnant. And yes, the kid is mine. Don't talk, don't remind me. I'm trying to wake up from this," Tony said, glaring at the smirk on Clint's face. He had woken up Tony from a weird dream of the very male Loki in a wedding dress where Tony was being held at the Altar by hammer point, in his own imagined Asgard which looked a little like Vegas but held a bunch of sword wielding gods. Pepper had been holding a baby, oddly the only normal looking thing in the picture, who resembled the female Loki they confronted early but was holding a bottle filled with scotch.
"Congrats. When's the wedding?" Clint's voice was mocking, pouring himself scotch. Only a joke, Tony thought, face turning pale. Clint would mock this to his dying day. Tony couldn't blame him, if on the opposite side of the glass, he'd do the same. He'd have rigged his own electronics to play wedding themes whenever Clint came into a room. Or set up a whole nursery in his room. Well had Pepper set up.
"Next week, you can be the minister," he snarked. He sat up abruptly as his alarm system started to sound, and Jarvis' voice echoed throughout the kitchen, "Sir, this is an unidentified female in the living room. She appeared out of nowhere. Shall I call the police?" Clint raised his eyebrows at the announcement and looked disappointed he didn't have his gun. Tony rolled his eyes.
"No Jarvis, it's fine. I'll ummm...go confront her." Tony thought seriously about walking out the back door and never coming back but the god could probably find him anywhere in the cosmos if he...she, really wanted to.
To Tony's surprise she wasn't making a mess of his living room. Nothing looked tampered with, nor destroyed. She was just sitting on his couch, legs crossed like an actual woman. Wearing Loki's clothes and had her new, longer hair tied behind her head. Female Loki looked completely like male Loki, except with the added addition of breasts. And a few softer features. Hidden under the armor, one might never be able to tell the difference. Probably what he had been aiming for.
Wishing for his suit as he nervously eyed all the large, glass windows, he gestured, "You can't just...change back? You're adept at it." His voice was going for menacing and accusing but ended up sounding more tired to his own ears. Loki rolled her eyes, lounging back against the pillows.
"No. My magic is protecting the baby. My male Asgardian form has no womb and as it's the one I am tied to and turn to naturally, it's preventing it. So only women it is. Would you prefer the pretty reporter? You really seemed to like her," Loki replied, voice coy and low, turning seductive. The same voice he'd used to buy Tony a drink at that event, intriguing the man by how forward she was being.
"No. I'd prefer you leave my living room and to forget about this entirely. Why are you hear anyway?"
Loki smirked, "This place is quite large. Nicer then where I'm staying. I'm sure you don't want to be called to any more robbed banks. Got bigger things to deal with, villains with actual agenda's at the moment. I'm here to make a deal."
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