Round 5
Round 5 is now closed.
Welcome to norsekink .
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: Spoiler policy is now in place. For more information, go here.
NOTE: We've noticed that some of the prompts being posted have Thor characters only making cameos or not featured at all. We realize that Thor is closely involved in the Avengers, but we're requesting that any ( Read more... )
Welcome to norsekink .
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: Spoiler policy is now in place. For more information, go here.
NOTE: We've noticed that some of the prompts being posted have Thor characters only making cameos or not featured at all. We realize that Thor is closely involved in the Avengers, but we're requesting that any ( Read more... )
After Loki arrives on Earth and starts with world domination, the siblings hold an unofficial family council. Somehow they come to the conclusion that the best answer for Father Dearest's hissy fit is to simply get him laid - he probably hasn't had any since Mother died anyway, (or at least in their opinion) - and so begins Operation: Get Daddy a Love Interest (without blowing our covers, because we aren't supposed to be here).
Alas, shipping wars ensue, and it quickly descends into sibling rivalry, with mostly questionable - but sort of hilarious - results. (And maybe some success at the end with Tony/Loki, if possible.) I'd like it if they were actually sort-of loved in Asgard, despite being a bit of outcasts like their parent, with the myths being exaggerations or completely false. (For example, Fenrir was actually being grounded for getting in a brawl with Tyr and breaking his arm, etc.)
Why they are on Earth and why are they hiding is up to anon.
(Please no Thor/Loki. Or they can try, but Thor and Loki are hell-bent on being brothers, thankyouverymuch.)
Bonus if Loki doesn't yet know that Darcy, Coulson and Fury are his children, and Thor doesn't know either.
BonusBonus if Loki figures it out, and is not amused, darlings.
BonusBonusBonus for Coulson/Clint.
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Loki: So...you're mad because I pitched your archer boyfriend off a skyscraper and he's in the hospital...and will probably be there fore a week.
Coulson: Yes. Not added in to the excess angst I have over other things.
Loki: I'd believe the excess angst if you actually emoted for once.
Coulson: *punches Loki in the gut* How am I doing at emoting anger?
Loki *gasps* Much better.
*Darcy ignores both in favor of her IPhone, where she is texting her "filers" in Helhiem to make sure they don't admit Clint under any circumstance because then Coulson might actually graduate to beyond pissed, which equals Fenrir eating the sun and Nick would yell at her for that*
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Must Love Dogs (and Snakes, and Half-Dead Grad Students)
Normally even the SHIELD meeting room would be silent and dead at three in the morning, but on this particular evening it was occupied by the director, one of its top agents and a college grad student, all of whom were preoccupied with the emergency news update playing on the projector screen.
“-even now, it’s impossible to estimate the damage done to the greater city area, but thanks a group of super-powered individuals calling themselves the Avengers, the threat-now identified to be a possible mutant by the name of Loki-has been successfully defeated, although sources say that he has not yet been taken into custody. The Avengers team appears to include billionaire Tony Stark and historical legend Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America, but the other members have yet to be identified. Witnesses claim-”
Jormungand scowled slightly more than usual and muted the sound. Hel let out a low whistle.
“Wow. Woooow,” she said, gaping at the devastation the news camera was sweeping over with raised eyebrows. “Does our dad know how to throw a major bitchfit or what?”
Fenrir hummed in agreement, adjusting the cuffs of his jacket. “When I agreed to help you with this ‘Avengers Initiative,’ Jormungand, I’d assumed the team’s test run would involve someone a little less…close to home.”
Jormungand pinched the bridge of his nose and turned off the screen with an angry flick of his wrist. “If it could have gone down any other way, I would’ve welcomed it,” he growled. “I don’t know about you two, but I care about this planet too damn much to let anyone else screw it up.” He glared at his siblings. “Including family.”
Fenrir conceded with a slight nod. Hel snorted.
“Man, you guys get way too attached to things,” she said, fiddling around with her reclaimed iPod. Fenrir reached over and snatched it out of her hands. “Hey! Geez, Fen, the first time was petty. This is just lame.”
Fenrir slipped the iPod into his suit pocket and smirked at his sister. “Do I have to remind you who successfully reestablished Helheim as a self-sufficient bureaucracy so you could enjoy these first few years of your century-long vacation, Hel?”
Hel huffed out a sigh and rolled her eyes theatrically. “Okay, fine. Let’s save your stupid Midgard. Rah rah, human pride and Pop Tarts are awesome and people other than Jane are worth saving and stuff. Where do we start?”
Jormungand frowned. “Father’s not exactly known for letting go of his grudges,” he admitted. “Not to mention asking him to change his mind would mean revealing ourselves to Asgard, so our best hope is probably a damn good distraction.”
The three sat in thoughtful silence. After about five minutes, Hel gasped so loudly that both her brothers whipped out their guns and scanned the room for a potential threat.
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Fenrir slapped a hand over her mouth and slipped his gun back into his holster. Jormungand sighed and put away his gun as well, slumping down in his seat and lamenting the day he and Fenrir had discovered that gods were immune to Ritalin.
“Try ‘getting it’ a little quieter,” Fenrir said, easing his hand away and taking his seat. “There’s still a few agents working in the facility at this hour and we’d rather not have to explain you to them.”
Hel looked appropriately embarrassed for a change. “Sorry, it’s a college thing. But I totally got it.” She took a deep breath and grinned at her brothers, her eyes shining. “We need to get Dad LAID!”
Fenrir stared at her. Jormungand stared at her. Then they stared at each other in abject terror.
Hel’s suggestion was actually reasonable. Damn, and they’d been trying so hard to avoid setting off Ragnarok this cycle.
“Has he even been with anyone since Mother died?” Fenrir asked finally.
Jormungand shrugged. “Who knows? He hasn’t had the time to visit in years. I doubt he even knows who or what our current incarnations are.”
Hel was practically bouncing with excitement. “This is so going to work, guys. I totally read about something just like this in Cosmopolitan last week.”
Jormungand rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I’m not saying it won’t be difficult, but I think I have the perfect person in mind.”
Fenrir glanced at him and nodded. “I agree.”
“Me too!” chirruped Hel. “They’d be perfect together.”
Jormungand’s shoulders slumped in relief. “Good. As long as we’re in agreement.”
“I think so,” said Fenrir. “After all, there couldn’t be a better match for Father than-”
“-Tony Stark.”
“-Steve Rogers.”
“-Natasha freakin’ Romanoff.”
They all stared each other incredulously.
“Stark?” Jormungand asked, his one eyebrow raised as high as it would go. “The last time they were alone together for more than five minutes, Father threw him out an eighth-story window. Don’t you already give the guy enough grief by eating his spare arc reactors?”
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“Also he’s a total manwhore,” chimed in Hel. “By the way, Saint Rogers, Jory? For real? Isn’t he like, the ninety-year-old virgin or something?”
Jormungand steepled his fingers. “Look, I know I’m not usually one for love and forgiveness,” he said, and both his siblings snorted derisively, “but if this is anything like the last few cycles, it’s Asgard’s rejection that kicked this off. Who better to accept Father for who he is and empathize with his inability to live up to the Aesir ideal than Steve Rogers?”
He turned to Hel. “I don’t know what you’ve heard about her, but Agent Romanoff would sooner kill Father or die trying than even consider starting up a relationship. She’s not called the Black Widow for nothing.”
“Okay, valid,” Hel said, holding her hands up defensively. “But have you seen her? She’s smokin’! I would hit that!”
“If I recall correctly,” said Fenrir, with a look of mild disapproval, “you also propositioned our uncle at one point.”
Jormungand stared at Hel in horror, his face ashen, before turning to Fenrir.
“Thank you,” he said calmly, “for leaving that out of the official report.”
Hel scoffed. “What, it’s not like we’re actually related or anything.” She slammed her hands down on the table in a sudden fit of enthusiasm. “You know what? I bet I can find an actual match for Dad faster than either of you can hook him up with your oh so perfect choices.”
Fenrir’s mouth quirked up in the slightest of smiles, his well-hidden competitive streak piqued. “Deal,” he said.
Jormungand ignored the sudden feeling of dread in his stomach and nodded. Agreeing was the best way to make sure his siblings’ competition didn’t get out of hand, and in any case he’d never be able to call himself a child of Loki if he turned down a challenge. “You’re on.”
Hel grinned. “Awesome. Let the best zombie…dog…snake-thing win.”
The Serpent, the Star-Devourer and the Queen of Hel shook hands and said their goodbyes.
SHIELD director Nick Fury, Agent Phil Coulson and a supernaturally inconspicuous Darcy Lewis exited the meeting room and parted ways for the evening.
Miles away and busy with his own schemes, a certain God of Mischief would soon have no idea what had hit him.
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I really like the way they interact, sort of childish despite their actual age, just like true siblings. Ha~. And how they managed to reach the conclusion is also so amusing, I just can't wait to see how they'll go at it in the shipping wars. (Also the title is made of WIN, you know.)
I can't wait for more of your great writing. <3333
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Aaaaah, I am SO glad you're enjoying it, I was hoping I could do this prompt some kind of justice. Because wacky family intervention prompts are the best, and made doubly so by norsekink's epic fanon.
Um, one small, or perhaps not so small thing, though--I've been trying to work out where I'm going with this and boy howdy there WILL be shipping and shipping wars but Loki seems so ultimately displeased with the whole thing that as of right now he is probably not going to end up with anyone by the end. Besides his crazy family. So, basically, which comes first, the wacky shenanigans or the shipping? There is definitely still time to change it if you'd like an end ship!
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Wacky family indeed is the best. Haha, I can't wait for the next installments! :D
Well, if there is a need to choose, then I suppose shipping wars come first for the greater good that is the entertainment of us all. I guess what I'd really like is for Loki to reach something resembling happy, if nothing else, then because of crazy family love. So as long as there is merriment all around, I guess I'm good. Any way you write it Anon is going to be awesome, I'm sure of it! :D <333
*But if you could, no Loki/Someone other than Tony please as an end ship, if there is. Thank you, and sorry for being a selfish prompter. orz I will go down with this ship.
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Happy Loki was never not an option! And there will be much merriment, mostly of the family variety.
*Tony gets the most action! Considering ideas bounce around in my head and mutate constantly before I write them down there's still a chance they'll hook up but I think my own shippiness might be getting in the way a bit...
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I am glad to hear it, and am anxiously awaiting your wonderful updates, dearest Anon~! <333
*Haha, good to know I'm not the only one who writes like that. :'D Go Tony Go. May I inquire the name of this particular vessel of fandom?
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Aughhh, I'm working on this, I swear, but for some reason Steve always gives me the most trouble with writing. :'(
Fortunately once he is done Tony vs Coulson is never not fun to write and Darcy owns my soul forever, so hopefully it shouldn't take too much longer. Sorry~!
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