Round 4
Round 4 is now closed.
Welcome to norsekink .
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: Spoiler policy is now in place. For more information, go here.
NOTE: We've noticed that some of the prompts being posted have Thor characters only making cameos or not featured at all. We realize that Thor is closely involved in the Avengers, but we're requesting that any ( Read more... )
Welcome to norsekink .
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: Spoiler policy is now in place. For more information, go here.
NOTE: We've noticed that some of the prompts being posted have Thor characters only making cameos or not featured at all. We realize that Thor is closely involved in the Avengers, but we're requesting that any ( Read more... )
The thing is, despite being a member of the kind of organisation that calls itself SHIELD in big capital letters and claims to be the defenders of Earth, Darcy isn't used to life-and-death situations. She has a desk and a printer, and her job is mostly about kicking scientists into gear. It's admin stuff. She's practically a secretary (though anyone who tries to call her a secretary gets decaf for a week. This kind of revenge doesn't make Darcy feel any less like a secretary, but hey. Clint still ends up falling asleep in the middle of a stakeout, so it's all good.)
But the people who employ Darcy also employ superheroes, so it's inevitable that sometimes she'll end up in the kind of pant-wetting terror that superheroes spend all their time dealing with.
And the superheroes Darcy works with have a Norse god-slash-sorcerer as their enemy. Which is great, because Darcy's taser doesn't work on magically animated masonry.
Darcy is so not too proud to scream when a pile of cinder blocks shaped like a troll creature comes crashing to the ground in front of her, blocking her escape from the courtyard. It jerks its weird, non-cohesive body around to face her, and roars in a voice like the tumbling walls of Jericho.
Which is impressive and all, but Darcy is already running in the opposite direction. She doesn't look behind her, but she can hear hammering footsteps behind her and she knows it's following. In the centre of the courtyard she can see Loki, standing and gloating like a boss while Captain America shouts at him to surrender before anyone gets hurt.
Darcy wonders, as her lungs start to burn from all the running, if she could get away with tasering him. Tasering a god probably wouldn't do much good, though, and as much as it might make her feel better it would also probably make him kill her in creative ways. And they were getting on so well. Also she threw her taser at one of the rock monsters already.
She forgets to pay attention to where she's going for, like, a millisecond, and suddenly in front of her an eight foot statue of a naked man is turning to look at her. It looks Greek, which means Loki stole it from a museum, which means it's art, and Darcy is completely responsible for what's coming next.
She doesn't break her stride, bracing herself for gruesome death, and as she reaches the killer statue she throws herself to the ground. There's enough churned up mud from all the chaos that she can just slide like a baseball player, right between the statue's legs. The thing reaches its stone hands for her, like Daffy Duck being outsmarted by a rabbit, and before it can straighten up the muddy ground happens to be just muddy enough to send the troll monster barrelling into it.
They go flying together, and Darcy barely manages to duck away from being brained by living masonry. The move worked, but it's left her trapped in a corner between the wall and the two stone monsters duking it out. The troll lifts the statue with both hands and throws it hard enough that it shatters against the wall, way too close to Darcy. All she can do is hope that it wasn't culturally important art.
And, wow, this is perfect. The troll is advancing on her and this is exactly how she always hoped she would die. Squished and probably eaten by magical rock monsters. She's too busy screaming and scanning the sky for help, Iron man or maybe Thor, to notice Loki pause in the middle of talking to Captain America. He trails off in the middle of exchanging superhero rhetoric, and lifts a hand, "Hold on, hold -- just give me... one second--" He whistles sharply, two fingers in his mouth, and the troll thing stops in its tracks.
After a few seconds of not dying horribly, Darcy stops screaming too.
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Darcy has the surreal experience of watching a pile of tangentially connected chunks of rock shoot her what is obviously a guilty look, then it lopes towards Loki radiating what did I do wrong, master, I'm sorry master. She stares. Loki snaps his fingers at the troll and directs it firmly towards Captain America.
"That one," he says sternly. "Not the little ones, thank you."
In all the shouting and punching and falling stones, Darcy escapes to relative safety. She even manages to keep her hyperventilation to a minimum.
When she gets home she sends a message to Loki, uh, what in the calmest phrasing she can manage.
The reply comes back, Well, I had to do something to make up for blowing up your coffee place (and setting fire to your shirt). Now you will not die from pulverization! You're welcome.
Darcy picks it up immediately, waiting by her computer, and sends back, Loki, if you keep calling off your minions for me, you can burn as many of my clothes as you like.
Then, for reasons she can't even explain, she dissolves into giggles on the floor of her kitchen.
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