Prompt Post No. 2
Announcement: Norsekink Round 2 is closed to new prompts!
Attention: All new and continuing fills to this round should be posted in the Overflow Post.
( Rules )
Attention: All new and continuing fills to this round should be posted in the Overflow Post.
( Rules )
Tony sighs, "Still waiting on rationality, though."
"Wh-" Steve stutters when Thor grabs a handful of Loki's hair and pulls hard enough that Loki's back achieves breathtaking curve. "Why are they doing that in here?"
In their enthusiasm Thor and Loki knock over a jar of pencils. The pencils go skittering across the table and the jar rolls over the edge, cracking but thankfully not breaking. They don't seem to notice, but really it can be hard to pay attention when you have a tongue in your ear. "Well first they were doing it in the kitchen. Then they were doing it in the living room. Finally I decided this was the place that had the most surfaces I could wash off with a hose."
"That's… valid, but why on earth do you need to monitor them?" Steve looks at Tony with a kind of hilarious narrow focus. It's as if he wishes he could switch off his peripheral vision entirely.
"I don't want to," Tony says. "They're following me. Or rather Thor is following me to teach me a lesson about Loki being hands off, and Loki is letting him. I think he's still evil even with the Xanax in his system. Just lazy."
"I. See." Steve shakes his head to clear it, "Well. That is..." he must see something out of the corner of his eye, because they grow huge and he looks right at Tony with even more determination. "Very unfortunate." He claps Tony on the shoulder, like he's sending a good solider out to die, and starts to leave. "Good luck."
"Where are you going?"
Steve looks over his shoulder, puzzled. "I'm getting the hell out of here, obviously."
"No, wait please." Thor sucks a new bruise on his brother's neck. Loki's mouth opens on a gasp, and close again, white teeth sinking into his swollen bottom lip. "You gotta help me. I can't just sit in a room alone with this going on. I need moral support!"
"Moral s-" Steve thankfully stops walking away. "What are you even talking about?"
"I'm talking about the buddy system. I'm talking about never leaving a man behind." Steve starts to look he's not buying it anymore, and Tony blurts out, "This is going to drive me crazy if I have to sit through this. Just do me a favor and help me ignore this."
"Tony. No." Steve turns and takes another step.
"Please!" Tony says. In the background Loki sighs, pleased with the results of shoving his hands into the back of Thor's jeans.
"No!"
"Please." If he sounds desperate it's because he is.
Steve gives him a hard stare like he's searching for any evidence that this is all just an elaborate prank being played on him. Tony holds his breath until at last Steve sighs unhappily. "Fine. Okay."
He sits back down on the bench and they both resolutely turn their backs to the flagrant display behind them.
"Okay," Steve says again. While he fumbles to think of something to say, Thor hums appreciatively at something Loki does. "Um. How about that weather?"
"Really? That’s the best you can do? This is California, Steve. It's sunny and 72." Tony probably should immediately resort to baiting Steve again, especially since he only just barely agreed to be his maintaining-sanity-buddy, but unfortunately humor is one of the only ways Tony can actually maintain his sanity. "Just like it was sunny and 72 yesterday."
"It isn’t always."
"No, actually it is."
"What about the forecast for next week?"
Tony makes a show of checking his phone. He looks over to his left only just enough to get Steve into his peripheral vision and nothing else. "Cloudy with a chance of thunderstorms actually."
"Really?"
"No." Tony says immediately. "Sunny. 72."
"Oh." Tony can see Steve snort, and relax his shoulders just a bit. "Walked right into that one, didn't I?"
"You do that a lot." This could work. Maybe a minute has already passed. One minute out of who knows how many. A space between his shoulder blades starts to itch like a physical manifestation of impatience, but he doesn't let himself think about it. Keep calm, he tells himself, bait Steve. "Did they not have jokes back then?"
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