Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)lunik_the_bardSeptember 13 2012, 16:11:01 UTC
Loki, when Tony confronted him, thought this was the funniest thing in nine realms. The rest of the team, when Loki gleefully told them, stared at Tony like they didn't understand how 'genius' could exist in a body with this much 'ditz'.
Finally there came the ceremony, all pomp and circumstance, of Loki leaving Midgard. Thor came to pick him up, and Kvasir was with him. Tony had no idea how he had managed that. He didn't pay attention to these things. It felt like a handing over of joint custody, with half the world leaders there to play social workers. Kvasir was blond, streaked with grey, and heavy. Tony looked at him standing next to willowy, dark Loki and couldn't help but snicker. "He looks nothing like you," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
Standing on a platform in front of representatives from at least three realms, Loki did not look at him like a crazy man. "You're right," he whispered back. "I should reject his paternity claim on that basis."
Tony suppressed the smirk. "We both have black hair. Obvious genetic match."
Loki turned a snort of laughter into a genteel cough, and Tony shut up until they were off the stage. At some point in the next few hours he found himself standing next to Loki and Kvasir again, shaking hands with Loki's Vanaheim Dad.
"How did you explain the discrepancy in your ages again?" Kvasir was asking him.
"Time travel," Tony said. He tried for a second to crush Kvasir's hand in his, then learned that apparently Vanir had the same super strength as Aesir. Jotnar, whatever. He extracted his hand quickly. "Now! You be careful with him. His bed time is ten, he can stay up til eleven thirty on weekends--"
"Oh, my god," muttered Loki. Kvasir looked deeply confused.
"And don't give him refined sugar, we haven't been letting him eat refined sugar, I don't know if it's been helping, you know how he can be--"
Re: Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)lunik_the_bardSeptember 13 2012, 20:50:29 UTC
I was actually laughing like a crazy person while writing this too. I'm relieved! Usually things that are that funny to me don't translate as funny to anyone else!
Re: Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)persephone_koreSeptember 13 2012, 16:47:37 UTC
*giggling helplessly* I've got to come back to this, but it's fantastic. -Loki and Tony being goofballs! (Affectionate goofballs.) And playing along with each other. -Thor telling them they'd planned to leave an ambassador and just roll with it. -Calling JARVIS brother. -Captain Midgard! -Loki saying he doesn't understand either. -The blood transfusion embarrassment. *g* Although I think somebody was unnecessarily flustered over the biology. It's easy enough for a human parent and child not to be cross-compatible -- and Loki's publicly (at least) half alien so I suspect there was some embarrassment over having asked him at all. *g* -All the stuff about how they obviously (or obviously don't) look alike. If Tony meets Laufey, though, he's going to stop worrying about the height difference with Loki pronto. :D -Tony/Pepper, which is cute even if Pepper doesn't show up much. *g* -Loki and Natasha putting Tony to bed as if he were their kid.
Re: Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)lunik_the_bardSeptember 13 2012, 20:56:59 UTC
Hee, thank you! Affectionate goofballs is the best way to describe them X)
During the blood transfusion incident would have been pretty funny if Tony wasn't bleeding to death. Loki and Tony wearing such identical looks of wtf that they may as well have been related - really, paramedic? Really?
Also, if Tony met Laufey, his first thought would be How am I supposed to impregnate THAT? and then the rest of the meeting would be pretending he never thought that.
Re: Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)persephone_koreSeptember 13 2012, 21:49:51 UTC
Ow. My brain has just gone to a strange location in which there is time travel, and Tony and Pepper try to lure Laufey into a threesome with the pickup line "A thousand years from now, if you play your cards right, all the other worlds will be competing to claim they slept with you and fathered your son." And it works.
Re: Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)wnnb_darklordSeptember 13 2012, 22:11:28 UTC
You know, if that had happened, Laufey's reluctance to say who the father is would totally make even more sense. After all, he has to keep those pesky paradoxes from stopping Tony from *not* building a time machine!
Re: Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)lunik_the_bardSeptember 13 2012, 17:03:02 UTC
OP here! I LOVE YOU.
This was fantastic - nearly wet myself laughing. I love that Loki's pretty much acknowledged several other fathers. As silly as it all was, it was also really sweet. Thanks for the speediness and greatness! :D
Re: Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)lunik_the_bardSeptember 14 2012, 09:30:33 UTC
Hello, to your Fry&Laurie icon, I adore them.
Loki's got a few dads - his Useful Dad Odin, who did all the raising and stuff, there's a couple of Frost Giant dads who he can go to when he has body issues, there's his Nidavellir Dad who gives the best presents, and now he (finally) has a dad willing to troll with him! Yes! He just has to remember that they all only want him for his political influence, and be careful with his heart.
Except, Tony had no idea what political influence he could wield. After Loki stopped laughing, he thought about that for a while.
Heh, everyone makes that mistake with apostrophes. It's pretty annoying when you do it on anon, though and you can't edit! D:
Re: Fill: Cat's in the Cradle (5/5)jibberwockSeptember 13 2012, 18:14:57 UTC
Genius, but that goes without saying. Genius! Captain Midgard and a thousand years of potential fathers, and Tony actually kinda fooling himself into believing his own joke was the awwww in the gooey center of so much funny. :) :) :) ♥
Finally there came the ceremony, all pomp and circumstance, of Loki leaving Midgard. Thor came to pick him up, and Kvasir was with him. Tony had no idea how he had managed that. He didn't pay attention to these things. It felt like a handing over of joint custody, with half the world leaders there to play social workers. Kvasir was blond, streaked with grey, and heavy. Tony looked at him standing next to willowy, dark Loki and couldn't help but snicker. "He looks nothing like you," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
Standing on a platform in front of representatives from at least three realms, Loki did not look at him like a crazy man. "You're right," he whispered back. "I should reject his paternity claim on that basis."
Tony suppressed the smirk. "We both have black hair. Obvious genetic match."
Loki turned a snort of laughter into a genteel cough, and Tony shut up until they were off the stage. At some point in the next few hours he found himself standing next to Loki and Kvasir again, shaking hands with Loki's Vanaheim Dad.
"How did you explain the discrepancy in your ages again?" Kvasir was asking him.
"Time travel," Tony said. He tried for a second to crush Kvasir's hand in his, then learned that apparently Vanir had the same super strength as Aesir. Jotnar, whatever. He extracted his hand quickly. "Now! You be careful with him. His bed time is ten, he can stay up til eleven thirty on weekends--"
"Oh, my god," muttered Loki. Kvasir looked deeply confused.
"And don't give him refined sugar, we haven't been letting him eat refined sugar, I don't know if it's been helping, you know how he can be--"
"Tony," said Loki. "Stop."
Tony did not stop.
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-Loki and Tony being goofballs! (Affectionate goofballs.) And playing along with each other.
-Thor telling them they'd planned to leave an ambassador and just roll with it.
-Calling JARVIS brother.
-Captain Midgard!
-Loki saying he doesn't understand either.
-The blood transfusion embarrassment. *g* Although I think somebody was unnecessarily flustered over the biology. It's easy enough for a human parent and child not to be cross-compatible -- and Loki's publicly (at least) half alien so I suspect there was some embarrassment over having asked him at all. *g*
-All the stuff about how they obviously (or obviously don't) look alike. If Tony meets Laufey, though, he's going to stop worrying about the height difference with Loki pronto. :D
-Tony/Pepper, which is cute even if Pepper doesn't show up much. *g*
-Loki and Natasha putting Tony to bed as if he were their kid.
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During the blood transfusion incident would have been pretty funny if Tony wasn't bleeding to death. Loki and Tony wearing such identical looks of wtf that they may as well have been related - really, paramedic? Really?
Also, if Tony met Laufey, his first thought would be How am I supposed to impregnate THAT? and then the rest of the meeting would be pretending he never thought that.
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Yeah, my brain is now right there with you in Tony/Laufey/Pepper-land. This is a bizarre and scary place!
(Also, how does Frost Giant cross-species conception work? Could Pepper be the father? PLOT TWIST!)
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This was fantastic - nearly wet myself laughing. I love that Loki's pretty much acknowledged several other fathers. As silly as it all was, it was also really sweet. Thanks for the speediness and greatness! :D
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Loki has quite a few fathers, I guess. He's never come across a father who made so few demands from him before. Tony is the cool dad ;)
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Loki's got a few dads - his Useful Dad Odin, who did all the raising and stuff, there's a couple of Frost Giant dads who he can go to when he has body issues, there's his Nidavellir Dad who gives the best presents, and now he (finally) has a dad willing to troll with him! Yes! He just has to remember that they all only want him for his political influence, and be careful with his heart.
Except, Tony had no idea what political influence he could wield. After Loki stopped laughing, he thought about that for a while.
Heh, everyone makes that mistake with apostrophes. It's pretty annoying when you do it on anon, though and you can't edit! D:
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Oh.
*melts in a pool of gooey fluff*
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Captain Midgard and a thousand years of potential fathers, and Tony actually kinda fooling himself into believing his own joke was the awwww in the gooey center of so much funny.
:) :) :) ♥
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