Creeping Ice
anonymous
August 19 2012, 14:12:04 UTC
It was obvious, Loki would be able to find a way into Weapons Vault. After all Thor had managed it and Loki was obviously cleverer than Thor. Of course that had been why Loki had refused to help Thor when Thor decided to go there the first. Besides Father had only just brought them in there hardly any time ago, so it was not as if he might have actually learnt anything new.
Of course Loki had never thought Thor would actually be stupid enough to touch the Casket of Ancient Winters. Of course a monster's weapon would be dangerous. Clearly Thor never listened to any of the stories Mother told them, never mind what they learnt from their stories. You should never underestimate an enemy.
When Thor had returned screaming with a frostbitten hand, Mother and Father didn't really seem to punish him at all though. Loki didn't expect them to not heal Thor but as wasn't as if Thor's injury was life-threatening or anything. Yet, his parents were so worried about Thor they didn't even notice Loki and being banned from the sparring rings for some time was hardly a proper punishment.
Loki would never have had got away with it.
That he was making his own way to the Weapons Vault now then might seem a little strange. Really, it was all Sif's fault though. Loki had only been teasing Thor about how silly he'd been when she'd said Loki was too cowardly even to touch it and he couldn't let something like that go. Especially from Sif who was apparently a girl and that was for some reason important.
Thus, Loki found himself inside the Weapons Vault in front of the Casket of Ancient Winters. The Casket was probably a bit high up for him to safely lift but Loki did not need to lift it. Only to touch it.
The problem was though, Loki didn't really want to touch it. The eerie blue light it threw onto his skin seemed ominous. Loki knew it was powerful but it was Jotun seidr, even more untrustworthy than that Loki was starting to experiment with.
Yet, Loki had to touch it. Otherwise he'd be a coward. Loki Odinson was no coward.
Reaching out, he touched the Casket.
It wasn't painful.
What Thor's problem had been Loki wasn't sure. In fact he felt he could hold on to Casket for as long as it wanted.
Then he realised with horror that the blue shade of his skin was not simply an illusion caused by the light of the Casket.
He yanked his hand away.
His skin was blue. Actually blue. Jotun blue. Like a monster.
That was impossible.
Except it wasn't.
Loki knew there were many areas of Seidr which included fooling the eyes and changing the appearance of things. There were others, albeit less, in which one could actually change a substance, transmute it into something else.
But the Casket of Ancient Winters was not supposed to have any powers in such areas.
Re: Creeping Ice 2/?
anonymous
August 19 2012, 14:25:38 UTC
At some point Loki had came to his senses and fled the chamber. He didn't want to be anyway near the Casket.
Now, in his own chamber, he was safe from the Casket. Or from anyone finding him where he shouldn't be.
Loki stared at his hand. Thankfully it had returned to it's usual Aesir cream. He wiggled his fingers. His treacherous hand continued to look and feel as it always had as if it had never become that of a Jotun.
The Casket wasn't supposed to be able to do that. It hadn't done anything of the like to Thor who had came out with nothing more than a bad case of frostbite.
If it wasn't the Casket though, there must be something wrong with Loki.
It was possible the Casket was cursed in such a way that it only effected those that used Seidr. Or maybe Thor was just stronger than Loki and had fought off the curse.
Unless it was Loki that was cursed. He had been born at the end of War. Maybe some angered Jotun had cast their witchcraft in revenge for their own loss. It was even possible someone of Asgard had done so to cast suspicion on Loki's place and loyalty. Until he prospered at battle-skills Loki knew he wouldn't be as well loved as his brother.
Or maybe he was wasn't cursed. At least not by more than his own nature. It was possible to return one be-spelled to appear to one species to their own through contact with seidr-relics from their own realm.
Re: Creeping Ice 2b/?
anonymous
August 19 2012, 14:36:40 UTC
It would make sense. If Loki was actually a Jotun then of course his parents would favour Thor. Who wouldn't prefer the child of their own blood to some creature?
No wonder Loki was punished more often and more severely than Thor. After all if one decided to raise a monster then one has to live with the fear it will eventually revert to it's nature
No wonder Thor had so many more friends than he did. While few peple could know, else Loki would not have his head on his shoulders, no doubt some instinct warned them away from him. Besides, how could a Jotun understand relationships between the Aesir.
No wonder he hardly resembled the rest of his family. It must have taken some powerful work of Seidr to make him seem Aesir.
Scarily it all made sense.
Apart of course for why Father, no, Odin would take a Jotun to raise in Asgard.
Why take a monster home?
Mother always said Father had reasons all he did.
Unless there was a reason to raise a Jotun in Asgard Loki could not be a Jotun.
Re: Creeping Ice 2c/?
anonymous
August 19 2012, 14:54:04 UTC
Loki knew he was bright. All his tutors thought so. Right now he wished he was not.
Because he could think of reasons for bringing a Jotun to Asgard.
For all he knew he was some sort of hostage. For all the famous beauty might be called Freya of Asgard she hailed from Jotunheim and had been taken as security after the Aesir-Vanir War.
It wasn't impossible the same might have been done after the War with Jotunheim. Loki might be of a noble house or perhaps seidr was of importance in Jotunheim.
A Jotun could not live openly in Asgard as a Vanir did. No wonder his heritage had been hidden. Besides where safer to keep an eye on the child than in the Royal House?
It was a bit odd Loki had been raised as a Prince but perhaps that was another attempt at safeguarding him.
It would make sense to take a child who could be raised in Asgard and made a little like a monster as possible.
And there was the Casket. Only a Jotun could wield it.
Perhaps it was more complex though. Maybe Loki was of more than a noble family. After all hadn't his father said both he and Thor were born to be Kings.
A King of Jotunheim who was friends to Asgard could be useful indeed.
Perhaps there were a lot of reasons.
Loki then was probably a Jotun.
He couldn't ask though.
Never mind confessing his original wrongdoing it would mean he had messed up Odin's plan.
He didn't want to upset Odin.
Odin might kill him if he wasn't useful.
But.
Odin had raised Loki, a Jotun, an enemy, as his own. He had taught Loki to call them family. Loki had loved his family.
Perhaps there was still hope then.
Odin and Frigga might never love Loki as they love Thor but if Loki stayed quiet and obedient and fulfilled all their plans maybe his Father and Mother would love him a little.
What better way to prove he wasn't a monster than to aid in the defeat of the Jotun, as his father no doubt planned for Loki to do.
The Nine Realms would be better off without them or with under the control of the Aesir.
Re: Creeping Ice 2c/?
anonymous
August 20 2012, 13:56:57 UTC
Author!Anon: Loki needs all the hugs!
Although the way he is right now, he'd probably misinterpret it.
Of course, it makes more sense to reward the monster will love and make him dependent on that rather than just punishing him in ways that might give him ideas for revenge. It's possible even that someone could pity him maybe, but no one could love a Frost Giant
Re: Creeping Ice 3a/?
anonymous
August 19 2012, 15:34:49 UTC
So Loki learnt to be second. Quietly.
When Thor was released from the Healing Wing Loki was the first to see him and when Sif said that Loki clearly was a coward and hadn't touched the Casket Loki just smiled and told her that perhaps he was a coward (after all are not Jotun cowardly?) but that none here were as brave as his brother after all.
She hadn't quite been happy with that but like Loki she knew the importance of Thor's friendship and didn't argue.
Loki sparred with Thor in his room while he was banned from the training guards. It didn't exactly reduce the punishment for Loki was no true trainer nor was he inclined to fight as hard as Thor's friends would. Still, Loki was sure their Father wished Thor to be a fine warrior and while he queried whether it was indeed a good idea for a Jotun to take up arms the Allfather had been the one to arrange Loki's training so it seemed he was meant to learnt. A little more practice then would not harm either of them.
Especially not Loki was yet to excel at anything except throwing knives. This might partially be due to his dislike of battle and it's dirt but secretly Loki was actually a little proud of both his dislike and failure at violence. No true Jotun would feel so. Still, his weapons training went better at least to the extent that Tyr seemed to criticise Loki less when he simply accepted any criticism as if it was his due.
When he wasn't with Thor Loki gave up trying to make friends. Perhaps Loki wasn't quite as useful with less friends in the court but he had yet to be taken aside and told to make any by his Father so he thought it was rather unfair to try an force them to befriend a Jotun or tolerate ones presence.
His Mother had asked him if he was happy with so few playmates. Loki had thought it was nice of her to ask. Still it wasn't as if Loki really enjoyed many of their games and he did enjoy reading uninterrupted so he had been able to truthfully enough say that he didn't mind.
After all Loki knew his duty.
Mother had looked a little upset then and he wondered if perhaps he was failing to be A Proper Aesir again and resolved to try not to alienate Thor's closest friends at least but she changed the conversation to what he had learnt in his studies recently and seemed happy enough with that.
He did feel a little bad, calling them Father and Mother and Brother, but they had told him to so Loki decided that it was alright to continue doing so.
Re: Creeping Ice 3b/?
anonymous
August 19 2012, 15:53:35 UTC
Overall Loki thought his actions were a success.
People definitely seemed to get annoyed with him less these days. It was true this was probably due to the fact that they saw him less as he tended to avoid leaving the Royal Quarters except for classes, meals and library visits.
Still, Loki counted anything which reduced dislike of him as a success. After all the less he was disliked by Asgard the less he was a Jotun.
Mother kept invited him to talk and help her with things. Loki enjoyed that. Sometimes he thought she wished he was a girl. Still, if Mother thought it was acceptable for Loki to send time with her and her handmaidens and help their weaving by collecting thread and such then it was. Her handmaidens all seemed to think Loki was "adorable" and as some of her attendants who were not yet at any duty full time had only just reached adolescence and thus not much older than Loki himself it was not that unlike having friends.
He also thought his Father's eye rested on him more often when they were together. What emotion caused this was hard to tell. The King couldn't have an face too easily read (something Loki would have to teach Thor). It wasn't the pride Loki was hoping for but nor was it anger as he feared. Admittedly it wasn't exactly a content look but whether given what he was Loki could cause his father to be content was in question.
Re: Creeping Ice 3c/?
anonymous
August 19 2012, 16:21:48 UTC
Luckily for Loki however much Asgard might not hold it in favour Father didn't seem displeased by his Seidr lessons.
Of course Father was wise and no doubt understood there were many places where Seidr could help and pure martial skill could not. Though his Father used little magic these days without it he would not be able to wield Gungnir.
Perhaps if Loki had been his Father's blood-son or even Aesir perhaps his Father would be less accepting. After all Thor had inherited some Seidr from his parents, else many of the weapons he dreamt of wielding would be beyond his reach.
As Loki was Jotun it was then completely acceptable for him to learn magic. It wasn't as if it could debase him any more.
Loki was careful not to be overly showy with his magic though avoiding any obvious tricks. It would not do to draw negative attention to himself given how precarious his status was in the Royal Family.
Perhaps he'd be safer if he had a closer relationship with Thor but attempting to join in all the activities Thor enjoyed would only make Loki look as if he was trying and failing to equal his brother. Something clearly impossible. Still, he tried to support his brother as well as he could and nudge Thor in the right direction. Sometimes he thought it was a very good thing he had been taken to Asgard as what Thor would have done without him he honestly had no idea.
Re: Creeping Ice 4/?
anonymous
August 19 2012, 20:56:04 UTC
As Loki got older his strategy seemed to work for the most part. It became more and more obvious that Thor was their parent's true son and he was not. If their looks were not enough then how Thor excelled at all that Asgard held dear and Loki didn't surely did. Thor was bright and though he tended to offend as much as he made friends he could not be ignored. Loki was easily ignored, an impressive feat when one stuck out as much as he did. Still, it only made his job of smoothing over the disagreements Thor got himself into more easily.
Although Loki might not have the inbuilt communication skills his brother was endowed with he became quite skilled at putting ideas in people's heads without them ever realising who had actually put it there. He attributed it to being both clever and forgettable.
That Loki heard much that he should not also helped. Of course he was worried that eavesdropping was wrong but it was ever so useful and why shouldn't the adopted Jotun help his family in the way that the true-son should not?
Sometimes he hears the people talking about him. For most part it's just about how little he's there. Some disapprove of his quietness and apparent lack of fight. Oddly, not all of the blame is attributed to him. Many times he's heard soldiers joke that the Allfather took half his second son's soul and give it to his first in order to have a powerful heir. Generally though, Loki thinks it's much safer than it could have been. Most importantly none of them seem aware he's a Jotun.
It's somewhat ironic given how Thor is favoured that he is also punished so much more than Loki. Thor isn't punished unfairly though and while Loki might love his brother and be his staunchest supporter he has no problems with his brother receiving the lessons he so desperately needs before his is King.
Loki dosen't focus too much on how he heard one of his weapons trainers say how he's afraid to give any sort of extra practice to the second prince as the boy would not only take it as punishment but also seems to always expect to be punished.
When Loki had his first growth spurt he panicked and worried that his Jotun nature was coming through. He might have slightly over-reacted when trying to keep out of people's view and both his parents told him quite firmly that, yes, he did have to leave his private quarters for food.
His Mother had reassured him that this was actually quite normal and reminded him that Thor had grown recently too. Loki took this to mean that whatever enchantment keeps him appearing Aesir is strong enough to continue even as he matures.
She’d also suggested that perhaps Loki should wear colours other than black or grey. Loki isn’t quite convinced. It is true he uses his Seidr to hide in shadows but it is easier if one is almost a shadow anyway. In the end he asks for some of green he favoured when he was younger to be added to his new set of clothes.
She’d also hinted that she was going to have Odin talk to himself and Thor about this whole growing up process. This promises to be such an embarrassing conversation Loki would attempt to avoid it entirely if it wasn’t for the fact that perhaps then Odin will reveal his true purpose.
Re: Creeping Ice 4/?derawrAugust 20 2012, 00:46:38 UTC
Loki is breaking my heart! D:
But those last two sentence made me break out into laughter!
I can't help but wonder how badly Odin and Frigga will react when the realize just what Loki has been thinking and for how long he had been thinking it...
Re: Creeping Ice 4/?
anonymous
August 20 2012, 14:42:43 UTC
Author!Anon: Not happily, but it's going to take quite awhile. Although it's difficult showing from Loki's biased point of view but they are worried about him, they just have no idea what's going on and so can't fix it. Mentally, I have Loki physically being ten or younger when he found out and he's already managed to reach pre-teenish by this point.
Re: Creeping Ice 4c/?
anonymous
August 20 2012, 14:36:33 UTC
Now Loki thinks about it though, it does seem rather odd that his parents are unaware of his discovery. He knows they sometimes seem confused at his choices, no doubt wondering why he is so different to Thor when they have raised him the same, but surely they would understand if they knew he knew. They've never seemed angry for any not otherwise attributable reasons anyway.
It's possible perhaps that they just find it easier to ignore his discovery. Although he guesses it's possible Father hasn't told Mother. That would explain how much more time she spends with Loki.
That Heimdall hasn't told Father about Loki's visit to the Weapons Vault seems bizarre. Then again, he never did deign to mention most of Thor and Loki's dares and excursions when they were younger. It's quite possible he didn't realise Loki worked it out. Or thought Loki would raise the matter himself. Or that Father does not allow Heimdall to see in the Vault itself.
Either way Loki thinks how kindly his parents act proves that they don't know about his discovery and well, he's managed to act well enough thus far.
Re: Creeping Ice 4e/?
anonymous
September 3 2012, 20:23:51 UTC
Much to his surprise Loki actually enjoyed the trip to Alfheim. It's not that he's not used to enjoying anything exactly it's just that usually his pleasures are small, a new book, a successfully done spell. He certainly isn't used to enjoying society.
Yet he did. For one thing Father actually paid quite a lot of attention to him on this trip. Not as much as to the Alfar King, of course, after all Loki isn't the reason for the excursion but he has much more time alone with his father than he does at home. Loki can tell that Father doesn't really understand Loki, probably because they're different species, so it's really rather kind of him to make the effort.
Another difference is that the Alfar actually paid attention to him. After all he is Odin's son, as far as they're aware. This does rather mean Loki couldn't go unnoticed as he does at home which curtailed some options and honestly he had been rather unsure about how to cope to people who actually expect you to talk to them but in the end it actually wasn't that bad. He could almost get used to it.
Indeed the Alfar did seem to be impressed by his Seidr and intelligence and it was nice to be praised even if Loki knows better than to trust the praise of those wishing to ingratiate themselves with his father.
Loki wonders if this is what being Thor is like.
There had been some off points in the visit.
Mostly including Father.
He must have been doing something wrong because sometimes when Father looked at him he didn't quite look happy.
He'd asked if Loki liked Alfheim and if he enjoyed representing Asgard. He'd said suggested Loki come on more trips of this kind in the future. Loki can recognise a suggestion that he grow to be Asgard's Ambassador when he's older. It makes sense, since Thor cannot be risked.
Father hardly had to take a Jotun for that though.
Does Father so dislike him that he wishes to send him from his sight?
Of course Loki had never thought Thor would actually be stupid enough to touch the Casket of Ancient Winters. Of course a monster's weapon would be dangerous. Clearly Thor never listened to any of the stories Mother told them, never mind what they learnt from their stories. You should never underestimate an enemy.
When Thor had returned screaming with a frostbitten hand, Mother and Father didn't really seem to punish him at all though. Loki didn't expect them to not heal Thor but as wasn't as if Thor's injury was life-threatening or anything. Yet, his parents were so worried about Thor they didn't even notice Loki and being banned from the sparring rings for some time was hardly a proper punishment.
Loki would never have had got away with it.
That he was making his own way to the Weapons Vault now then might seem a little strange. Really, it was all Sif's fault though. Loki had only been teasing Thor about how silly he'd been when she'd said Loki was too cowardly even to touch it and he couldn't let something like that go. Especially from Sif who was apparently a girl and that was for some reason important.
Thus, Loki found himself inside the Weapons Vault in front of the Casket of Ancient Winters. The Casket was probably a bit high up for him to safely lift but Loki did not need to lift it. Only to touch it.
The problem was though, Loki didn't really want to touch it. The eerie blue light it threw onto his skin seemed ominous. Loki knew it was powerful but it was Jotun seidr, even more untrustworthy than that Loki was starting to experiment with.
Yet, Loki had to touch it. Otherwise he'd be a coward. Loki Odinson was no coward.
Reaching out, he touched the Casket.
It wasn't painful.
What Thor's problem had been Loki wasn't sure. In fact he felt he could hold on to Casket for as long as it wanted.
Then he realised with horror that the blue shade of his skin was not simply an illusion caused by the light of the Casket.
He yanked his hand away.
His skin was blue. Actually blue. Jotun blue. Like a monster.
That was impossible.
Except it wasn't.
Loki knew there were many areas of Seidr which included fooling the eyes and changing the appearance of things. There were others, albeit less, in which one could actually change a substance, transmute it into something else.
But the Casket of Ancient Winters was not supposed to have any powers in such areas.
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Now, in his own chamber, he was safe from the Casket. Or from anyone finding him where he shouldn't be.
Loki stared at his hand. Thankfully it had returned to it's usual Aesir cream. He wiggled his fingers. His treacherous hand continued to look and feel as it always had as if it had never become that of a Jotun.
The Casket wasn't supposed to be able to do that. It hadn't done anything of the like to Thor who had came out with nothing more than a bad case of frostbite.
If it wasn't the Casket though, there must be something wrong with Loki.
It was possible the Casket was cursed in such a way that it only effected those that used Seidr. Or maybe Thor was just stronger than Loki and had fought off the curse.
Unless it was Loki that was cursed. He had been born at the end of War. Maybe some angered Jotun had cast their witchcraft in revenge for their own loss. It was even possible someone of Asgard had done so to cast suspicion on Loki's place and loyalty. Until he prospered at battle-skills Loki knew he wouldn't be as well loved as his brother.
Or maybe he was wasn't cursed. At least not by more than his own nature. It was possible to return one be-spelled to appear to one species to their own through contact with seidr-relics from their own realm.
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No wonder Loki was punished more often and more severely than Thor. After all if one decided to raise a monster then one has to live with the fear it will eventually revert to it's nature
No wonder Thor had so many more friends than he did. While few peple could know, else Loki would not have his head on his shoulders, no doubt some instinct warned them away from him. Besides, how could a Jotun understand relationships between the Aesir.
No wonder he hardly resembled the rest of his family. It must have taken some powerful work of Seidr to make him seem Aesir.
Scarily it all made sense.
Apart of course for why Father, no, Odin would take a Jotun to raise in Asgard.
Why take a monster home?
Mother always said Father had reasons all he did.
Unless there was a reason to raise a Jotun in Asgard Loki could not be a Jotun.
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Because he could think of reasons for bringing a Jotun to Asgard.
For all he knew he was some sort of hostage. For all the famous beauty might be called Freya of Asgard she hailed from Jotunheim and had been taken as security after the Aesir-Vanir War.
It wasn't impossible the same might have been done after the War with Jotunheim. Loki might be of a noble house or perhaps seidr was of importance in Jotunheim.
A Jotun could not live openly in Asgard as a Vanir did. No wonder his heritage had been hidden. Besides where safer to keep an eye on the child than in the Royal House?
It was a bit odd Loki had been raised as a Prince but perhaps that was another attempt at safeguarding him.
It would make sense to take a child who could be raised in Asgard and made a little like a monster as possible.
And there was the Casket. Only a Jotun could wield it.
Perhaps it was more complex though. Maybe Loki was of more than a noble family. After all hadn't his father said both he and Thor were born to be Kings.
A King of Jotunheim who was friends to Asgard could be useful indeed.
Perhaps there were a lot of reasons.
Loki then was probably a Jotun.
He couldn't ask though.
Never mind confessing his original wrongdoing it would mean he had messed up Odin's plan.
He didn't want to upset Odin.
Odin might kill him if he wasn't useful.
But.
Odin had raised Loki, a Jotun, an enemy, as his own. He had taught Loki to call them family. Loki had loved his family.
Perhaps there was still hope then.
Odin and Frigga might never love Loki as they love Thor but if Loki stayed quiet and obedient and fulfilled all their plans maybe his Father and Mother would love him a little.
What better way to prove he wasn't a monster than to aid in the defeat of the Jotun, as his father no doubt planned for Loki to do.
The Nine Realms would be better off without them or with under the control of the Aesir.
And Loki could really be Loki of Asgard.
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Although the way he is right now, he'd probably misinterpret it.
Of course, it makes more sense to reward the monster will love and make him dependent on that rather than just punishing him in ways that might give him ideas for revenge. It's possible even that someone could pity him maybe, but no one could love a Frost Giant
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When Thor was released from the Healing Wing Loki was the first to see him and when Sif said that Loki clearly was a coward and hadn't touched the Casket Loki just smiled and told her that perhaps he was a coward (after all are not Jotun cowardly?) but that none here were as brave as his brother after all.
She hadn't quite been happy with that but like Loki she knew the importance of Thor's friendship and didn't argue.
Loki sparred with Thor in his room while he was banned from the training guards. It didn't exactly reduce the punishment for Loki was no true trainer nor was he inclined to fight as hard as Thor's friends would. Still, Loki was sure their Father wished Thor to be a fine warrior and while he queried whether it was indeed a good idea for a Jotun to take up arms the Allfather had been the one to arrange Loki's training so it seemed he was meant to learnt. A little more practice then would not harm either of them.
Especially not Loki was yet to excel at anything except throwing knives. This might partially be due to his dislike of battle and it's dirt but secretly Loki was actually a little proud of both his dislike and failure at violence. No true Jotun would feel so. Still, his weapons training went better at least to the extent that Tyr seemed to criticise Loki less when he simply accepted any criticism as if it was his due.
When he wasn't with Thor Loki gave up trying to make friends. Perhaps Loki wasn't quite as useful with less friends in the court but he had yet to be taken aside and told to make any by his Father so he thought it was rather unfair to try an force them to befriend a Jotun or tolerate ones presence.
His Mother had asked him if he was happy with so few playmates. Loki had thought it was nice of her to ask. Still it wasn't as if Loki really enjoyed many of their games and he did enjoy reading uninterrupted so he had been able to truthfully enough say that he didn't mind.
After all Loki knew his duty.
Mother had looked a little upset then and he wondered if perhaps he was failing to be A Proper Aesir again and resolved to try not to alienate Thor's closest friends at least but she changed the conversation to what he had learnt in his studies recently and seemed happy enough with that.
He did feel a little bad, calling them Father and Mother and Brother, but they had told him to so Loki decided that it was alright to continue doing so.
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People definitely seemed to get annoyed with him less these days. It was true this was probably due to the fact that they saw him less as he tended to avoid leaving the Royal Quarters except for classes, meals and library visits.
Still, Loki counted anything which reduced dislike of him as a success. After all the less he was disliked by Asgard the less he was a Jotun.
Mother kept invited him to talk and help her with things. Loki enjoyed that. Sometimes he thought she wished he was a girl. Still, if Mother thought it was acceptable for Loki to send time with her and her handmaidens and help their weaving by collecting thread and such then it was. Her handmaidens all seemed to think Loki was "adorable" and as some of her attendants who were not yet at any duty full time had only just reached adolescence and thus not much older than Loki himself it was not that unlike having friends.
He also thought his Father's eye rested on him more often when they were together. What emotion caused this was hard to tell. The King couldn't have an face too easily read (something Loki would have to teach Thor). It wasn't the pride Loki was hoping for but nor was it anger as he feared. Admittedly it wasn't exactly a content look but whether given what he was Loki could cause his father to be content was in question.
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Of course Father was wise and no doubt understood there were many places where Seidr could help and pure martial skill could not. Though his Father used little magic these days without it he would not be able to wield Gungnir.
Perhaps if Loki had been his Father's blood-son or even Aesir perhaps his Father would be less accepting. After all Thor had inherited some Seidr from his parents, else many of the weapons he dreamt of wielding would be beyond his reach.
As Loki was Jotun it was then completely acceptable for him to learn magic. It wasn't as if it could debase him any more.
Loki was careful not to be overly showy with his magic though avoiding any obvious tricks. It would not do to draw negative attention to himself given how precarious his status was in the Royal Family.
Perhaps he'd be safer if he had a closer relationship with Thor but attempting to join in all the activities Thor enjoyed would only make Loki look as if he was trying and failing to equal his brother. Something clearly impossible. Still, he tried to support his brother as well as he could and nudge Thor in the right direction. Sometimes he thought it was a very good thing he had been taken to Asgard as what Thor would have done without him he honestly had no idea.
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Although Loki might not have the inbuilt communication skills his brother was endowed with he became quite skilled at putting ideas in people's heads without them ever realising who had actually put it there. He attributed it to being both clever and forgettable.
That Loki heard much that he should not also helped. Of course he was worried that eavesdropping was wrong but it was ever so useful and why shouldn't the adopted Jotun help his family in the way that the true-son should not?
Sometimes he hears the people talking about him. For most part it's just about how little he's there. Some disapprove of his quietness and apparent lack of fight. Oddly, not all of the blame is attributed to him. Many times he's heard soldiers joke that the Allfather took half his second son's soul and give it to his first in order to have a powerful heir. Generally though, Loki thinks it's much safer than it could have been. Most importantly none of them seem aware he's a Jotun.
It's somewhat ironic given how Thor is favoured that he is also punished so much more than Loki. Thor isn't punished unfairly though and while Loki might love his brother and be his staunchest supporter he has no problems with his brother receiving the lessons he so desperately needs before his is King.
Loki dosen't focus too much on how he heard one of his weapons trainers say how he's afraid to give any sort of extra practice to the second prince as the boy would not only take it as punishment but also seems to always expect to be punished.
When Loki had his first growth spurt he panicked and worried that his Jotun nature was coming through. He might have slightly over-reacted when trying to keep out of people's view and both his parents told him quite firmly that, yes, he did have to leave his private quarters for food.
His Mother had reassured him that this was actually quite normal and reminded him that Thor had grown recently too. Loki took this to mean that whatever enchantment keeps him appearing Aesir is strong enough to continue even as he matures.
She’d also suggested that perhaps Loki should wear colours other than black or grey. Loki isn’t quite convinced. It is true he uses his Seidr to hide in shadows but it is easier if one is almost a shadow anyway. In the end he asks for some of green he favoured when he was younger to be added to his new set of clothes.
She’d also hinted that she was going to have Odin talk to himself and Thor about this whole growing up process. This promises to be such an embarrassing conversation Loki would attempt to avoid it entirely if it wasn’t for the fact that perhaps then Odin will reveal his true purpose.
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But those last two sentence made me break out into laughter!
I can't help but wonder how badly Odin and Frigga will react when the realize just what Loki has been thinking and for how long he had been thinking it...
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It's possible perhaps that they just find it easier to ignore his discovery. Although he guesses it's possible Father hasn't told Mother. That would explain how much more time she spends with Loki.
That Heimdall hasn't told Father about Loki's visit to the Weapons Vault seems bizarre. Then again, he never did deign to mention most of Thor and Loki's dares and excursions when they were younger. It's quite possible he didn't realise Loki worked it out. Or thought Loki would raise the matter himself. Or that Father does not allow Heimdall to see in the Vault itself.
Either way Loki thinks how kindly his parents act proves that they don't know about his discovery and well, he's managed to act well enough thus far.
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because, um, apparently I'm unable to post things properly...
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Yet he did. For one thing Father actually paid quite a lot of attention to him on this trip. Not as much as to the Alfar King, of course, after all Loki isn't the reason for the excursion but he has much more time alone with his father than he does at home. Loki can tell that Father doesn't really understand Loki, probably because they're different species, so it's really rather kind of him to make the effort.
Another difference is that the Alfar actually paid attention to him. After all he is Odin's son, as far as they're aware. This does rather mean Loki couldn't go unnoticed as he does at home which curtailed some options and honestly he had been rather unsure about how to cope to people who actually expect you to talk to them but in the end it actually wasn't that bad. He could almost get used to it.
Indeed the Alfar did seem to be impressed by his Seidr and intelligence and it was nice to be praised even if Loki knows better than to trust the praise of those wishing to ingratiate themselves with his father.
Loki wonders if this is what being Thor is like.
There had been some off points in the visit.
Mostly including Father.
He must have been doing something wrong because sometimes when Father looked at him he didn't quite look happy.
He'd asked if Loki liked Alfheim and if he enjoyed representing Asgard. He'd said suggested Loki come on more trips of this kind in the future. Loki can recognise a suggestion that he grow to be Asgard's Ambassador when he's older. It makes sense, since Thor cannot be risked.
Father hardly had to take a Jotun for that though.
Does Father so dislike him that he wishes to send him from his sight?
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