I think it's time to post again....
Actually, I was nudged because apparently I haven't posted here in, oh, six weeks. Quite ironic since I usually can't shut up for six minutes. It does please me to know, however, that at least one person noticed that I wasn't moving and therefore poked me to make sure I'm not dead. I have awakened from my LJ coma to find that... well, not much has changed.
Except...
It's September.
Which means that Colts football is back in full swing
The new Fall TV schedule is just around the corner
And my favorite month (aside from May, which is my birthday month and will forever be my favorite month), October, is only weeks away. This means I need to start preparing for Horror-Movie-Night 2006 soon!
These are things that make me happy...
Now for the "true" update:
I've been doing a lot lately. Rehearsals, Improv shows at IO, internship hours, class, and work dominate my life right now. Not to mention the obligatory hours dedicated to football and Karaoke nights (go ahead, tell me I'm not a balanced human being). What I HAVEN'T been doing a lot of lately is dating. None at all, in fact. And it's wearing on me. I love all my friends who say things like, "Don't worry about it, it's not important" or "Don't go looking for it and it will come to you". These also tend to be the friends who always have stories about who they went on a date with, or who they hooked up with, or who they might be getting serious with... you get the point. As a guy, it's damn near impossible to try the "wait and see" form of dating. We still live in an age where the women expect the men to be the ones who approach, so how am I supposed to be "laisez-faire" about dating? I have made a decision, and that decision is to give up giving up on women. Each time I've tried to stop worrying about dating, along comes a girl that I just couldn't imagine letting pass by, so I talk to her, things start looking good, then, for various reasons, they don't. So I've stopped living by the "let things happen as they will" philosophy and decided to not live by any philosophy at all. How illogical is that? I guess in my frustration I've become fairly illogical about things, but it's been more than two years since my last relationship, and almost as long since I "dated" anyone, and that's much longer than I thought it would take. Much longer. Of course, even more friends will chime in with thing like, "well, I haven't been in a relationship since high school" or "I've never been in a relationship"... well, I understand what you're trying to do, but it doesn't work. Not for me. Being single no longer feels like being free, it just feels like being lonely. I have to admit now that this is something I need. If anything, to feel like I've finally moved on, and I'm not stuck in the emotional limbo of past mistakes. Of course, it has to be the right girl to do the job, and she's been extremely hard to find. But I keep looking because I'm a sucker and an optimist, and I know...KNOW, that if I keep walking down the street, she'll finally come around that corner. Til then, well, I'll just keep being busy. And keep writing. I've noticed that there's much less need to write when you're happy. Unfortunately, I'm running out of paper.
Oh god, another sad bastard post. Well, at least it's karaoke night
See you in another six weeks.
Except...
It's September.
Which means that Colts football is back in full swing
The new Fall TV schedule is just around the corner
And my favorite month (aside from May, which is my birthday month and will forever be my favorite month), October, is only weeks away. This means I need to start preparing for Horror-Movie-Night 2006 soon!
These are things that make me happy...
Now for the "true" update:
I've been doing a lot lately. Rehearsals, Improv shows at IO, internship hours, class, and work dominate my life right now. Not to mention the obligatory hours dedicated to football and Karaoke nights (go ahead, tell me I'm not a balanced human being). What I HAVEN'T been doing a lot of lately is dating. None at all, in fact. And it's wearing on me. I love all my friends who say things like, "Don't worry about it, it's not important" or "Don't go looking for it and it will come to you". These also tend to be the friends who always have stories about who they went on a date with, or who they hooked up with, or who they might be getting serious with... you get the point. As a guy, it's damn near impossible to try the "wait and see" form of dating. We still live in an age where the women expect the men to be the ones who approach, so how am I supposed to be "laisez-faire" about dating? I have made a decision, and that decision is to give up giving up on women. Each time I've tried to stop worrying about dating, along comes a girl that I just couldn't imagine letting pass by, so I talk to her, things start looking good, then, for various reasons, they don't. So I've stopped living by the "let things happen as they will" philosophy and decided to not live by any philosophy at all. How illogical is that? I guess in my frustration I've become fairly illogical about things, but it's been more than two years since my last relationship, and almost as long since I "dated" anyone, and that's much longer than I thought it would take. Much longer. Of course, even more friends will chime in with thing like, "well, I haven't been in a relationship since high school" or "I've never been in a relationship"... well, I understand what you're trying to do, but it doesn't work. Not for me. Being single no longer feels like being free, it just feels like being lonely. I have to admit now that this is something I need. If anything, to feel like I've finally moved on, and I'm not stuck in the emotional limbo of past mistakes. Of course, it has to be the right girl to do the job, and she's been extremely hard to find. But I keep looking because I'm a sucker and an optimist, and I know...KNOW, that if I keep walking down the street, she'll finally come around that corner. Til then, well, I'll just keep being busy. And keep writing. I've noticed that there's much less need to write when you're happy. Unfortunately, I'm running out of paper.
Oh god, another sad bastard post. Well, at least it's karaoke night
See you in another six weeks.