September 9, 2017 Post-Breakup Messages
A few days after the break-up, Manager posted this on twtr. It says that INKT members are going to do their own musical activities, but it doesn't really specify which members he is talking about, or if that includes Koki.
Manager:
バンドの解散について、沢山のメッセージありがとうございました。 全てのメッセージに心より感謝です。 今回の件、当然絶対に忘れることはありませんが、僕は、もう次に向かって前を向こうと思っています。切り替えようと思っています。 まだバンドのことでやらなければいけないことが残っているので、それはしっかりとやりきります。 それが終わったら、また音楽に関わって行くと思います。 改めて、寂しかったり、悲しかったり、心配したり、残念だったり、不快だったり、沢山の想いをさせてしまって本当にごめんなさい。 INKTメンバーは、これからそれぞれ音楽活動を続けて行くと思います。 活動が目に入る機会があれば、応援して頂けると嬉しいです。お願い致します。 様々なメッセージ、本当にありがとうございました。 皆さんのメッセージに救われています。
Thank you very much for all the messages about the band breaking up. I appreciate all of the messages with all my heart. Although of course I am not trying to ignore what has happened, but I am planning on moving on and looking to the future. I am planning on making a change. There are still some band matters that need to be attended to, so I will finish those completely. After that, I am still planning on being involved in music in some way. I really apologize again for all the sorrow, loneliness, worry, anxiety, disappointment, discomfort, and bad memories. I believe the INKT members will still continue doing their own musical activities. If you get a chance to see them, I would be happy if you would support them. Thank you very much for the various messages. I was relieved to hear from everyone.
Kei on Twitter:
解散を発表してから沢山のメッセージを頂きました。ありがとうございます。バンドで得た経験を大事にして、気持ちを切り替え次に進んで行こうと思います。
これからもよろしくお願いします！
I've receive many messages since we announced the dissolution of the band. Thank you very much. I'm going to treasure the experiences I gained from being in the band, and I plan on switching gears and moving ahead.
I look forward to seeing you in the future!
Ah, Kei hasn't changed his profile or anything, but somehow this message makes me sad. It's just kind of curt and non-descript.
Then Koki suddenly comes out with this super long and unexpected blog update. I really hesitated to even open it for a few moments. I was afraid of what it might contain, after his last sudden announcement:
https://t.co/t2cVDJAK4X
田中聖です
2017-09-08 16:59:16
改めまして、いつも応援してくれているファンの皆さん、そして支えてくれている関係者の皆さん、今回は多大な心配とご迷惑をおかけして本当に申し訳ありませんでした。
INKTというバンドを応援して頂き本当にありがとうございました。
バンド解散を発表してから、こんな自分に対しても、応援のメッセージをたくさん頂き、本当に感謝しています。
皆さんのお陰でINKTというバンドとして本当に素晴らしい時間を過ごせて、音楽をする幸せを心から感じれていました。
応援してくれてるファンの皆さんがいなければ成り立たなかったと思います。
本当にありがとうございました。
凄く幸せな時間でした。
そんな幸せな時間を、自分のせいで潰してしまった事、あんなに尊敬しているメンバーを傷付けてしまった事、ファンの皆さんや関係者の皆さんを裏切って、残念な想いをさせてしまった事、夢半ばで歩みを止めてしまった事、全てが悔しく、自分で招いたことですが後悔しかありません。
泣いても、後悔しても、戻ってこない時間、解散という２文字を僕はこれから絶対に忘れることなく生きていきます。
しっかりと背負ってこれから一歩一歩歩いていきたいと思います。
こんな僕に対してでも、ありがたい事に、
音楽をやめないで。
とか、
帰ってくるの待ってる。
という言葉をかけてくれる方もいます。
本当にありがとうございます。
しっかり届いています。
正直、騒動を起こしてしまってからのこの期間、音楽活動を辞める事も考えました。
弱い自分がまたステージに立つ事が出来るのか。
たくさん色んな事を考えました。
でもどれだけ考えても、やっぱり歌いたい自分がいます。
INKTとして見てきた幸せな時間や景色を思い出す自分がいます。
歌わないという選択肢を考えた時に、ステージで歌う夢を見て、段々それがステージで歌ってる人をフロアで見てる夢に変わった時に、辛くて、今回の事態を招いてしまった自分に憤りを感じ、強く後悔しました。
同時に、都合が良いかもしれませんが、また歌いたいという気持ちも強くなっていきました。
こんな自分ですが、僕には力を貸してくれようとしてくれて、励ましてくれている仲間もいます。叱ってくれる仲間や関係者の方がいます。
そんな方々の声に、何度も何度も力をもらいました。
心配と迷惑をかけた自分に、それでも心のこもった言葉をくれました。
まだ１人じゃない。
そう思わせてもらいました。
スタッフさん含めライブハウス関係者の皆さんや、自分を支えてくれていた、たくさんの方々にも本当に感謝と申し訳ない気持ちしかありませんし、そんな方々を傷付けてご迷惑をかけてしまった事、後悔と自分に対する情けなさでいっぱいです。
自分自身でたくさんの大切な物を壊しておいて何を言ってるんだと思われると思いますが、僕は、あの場所に、ステージの上にまた戻りたいです。
０からどころかマイナスからになりますが、自分自身に厳しくして、地道に這い上がって行こうと思います。
これまで支えてくれていたファンの皆さん、関係者の皆さん、改めて本当に本当に申し訳ありませんでした。
本当に情けなくて、馬鹿な僕ですが、僕は１人では何も出来ません。何も出来ない人間です。
もう一度ステージに戻った時、皆さんに僕の変化を見せれるように準備して行きます。いつになるかは分かりませんが、その時は僕に力を貸して下さい。お願い致します。
改めて、本当に申し訳ありませんでした。
そして、ありがとうございます。
田中聖
This is Tanaka Koki
09-08-2017 4:59 p.m. JST
Once again, to all the fans who are supporting me, and to everyone involved, I am really very sorry for the tremendous problems and worry that I have caused.
Thank you very much for having supported our band, INKT.
I really appreciate all the messages of support you sent since the breakup of the band was announced, even to a person such as myself.
It's thanks to all of you that I was able to spend such a wonderful time in the band called INKT and feel the joy of making music from the depths of my heart.
I know it wouldn't have been possible without the fans who supported me.
Thank you very much.
It was a really happy time in my life.
Being the one who ruined such a happy time, having hurt the band members whom I respect so much, betraying all the fans and the company staff, for causing such disappointing memories, for halting the progress we were making toward realizing our dreams, regretting everything, even though I brought it all on myself, I have nothing but regrets.
Even if I cry, even if I have regrets, I can't turn back time, but I will never forget for as long as I live those two words, "解散" (break-up)
I will carry the weight of that forever as I try to make my way back, one step at a time.
In spite of myself, there are thankfully people who are telling me
not to quit making music and that they are waiting for me to return.
Thank you very much.
I was touched by your messages.
Honestly, since the time of my arrest, I have considered quitting.
I questioned whether I could ever set foot on a stage again in this weakened state.
I thought about a lot of different things.
But no matter how I think about it, I realize that a part of me still wants to sing after all.
I can't forget the happy times and memories I had as a part of INKT.
When I was considering making the choice of not singing again, I had a dream about being on stage singing. As the dream progressed, I found myself being the one on the floor watching someone else singing on stage. That was so painful, I started hating myself for being the one to bring all these problems on, and I really felt incredibly remorseful.
It was during that time, related or not, that I started feeling a strong desire to sing again.
And in spite of being this kind of person, there are people who are willing to give me strength and friends who are cheering me up. There are friends and others involved who are chewing me out.
I got so much strength over and over again from those voices.
They still spoke thoughtful words to this person, who had caused them so many problems and worry.
I'm not alone.
They helped me realize that.
To all the staff and others who were involved in planning and making our live shows happen, I really appreciate what you did and am very sorry for what happened.
I feel nothing but regret and worthlessness for causing you so much trouble.
Even though you may wonder how I could be saying this when I was the one who ruined all these important things, I want to go back to that place and return to the stage again.
My zero-start may have turned into a minus-start, but with self-discipline, I plan on steadily crawling back onto that path again.
To the fans who have supported me up until now, to everyone involved, again, I am really, really very sorry.
I'm so pathetic and stupid, but I can't do anything by myself. I am a person who can't do anything right.
I am preparing myself for the time when I can return to the stage again and show you all how I have changed. I don't know when that will be, but when it does happen, I humbly ask you to lend me your strength.
I apologize again.
And thank you very much.
Tanaka Koki
I was so happy to hear that Koki wanted to keep singing. I was so excited that I did my nails for the first time in months XD and started a brand new Koki blog, which you can find here:
https://jrockjlife.wixsite.com/chapter2
It's not that I wanted to separate INKT from the rest of whatever Koki wants to do necessarily, but I am finding this platform to be really cumbersome and I wanted to start something fresh and easy to use. I really wanted to start a new INKT blog for a long time anyway, but there was always so much material coming out that I never really had a chance to go back through it all.
Well, please check out the new site. I will be posting all new Koki updates there.
This next tweet by SASSY also made me sad, plus he changed the details in his Twitter profile. But he later posted a blog update, which went into more detail, so I felt a little better:
SASSY on Twitter:
解散ツイートに沢山のリプライありがとうました。
色々ご迷惑と心配もおかけしましたが、バンドを通して出会えた方へ本当に感謝しかありません。
INKTのSASSYとしての夢は一旦終了ですが、ドラマーとして叩ける場所がある限り色々な事へ挑戦して行ければと思ってます‼︎また近々どこかで！
Thank you very much for all the replies to the break-up tweet.
I know we caused many problems and worry, but I really have nothing but appreciation for the people that I've met through being in this band.
The dreams of INKT's SASSY are over, but I want to keep playing the drums as much as possible and take on new challenges!! I hope to see you somewhere soon!
SASSY's Twitter profile:
【バンド】アンチノブナガ AllJapanGoith(skaしっぺ時代) HIGHandMIGHTYCOLOR INKTやってました【サポート】 藍井エイル LM.C ORANGERANGE delofamilia 柊木りお…など CANOPUS Zildjianラブです。
基本椅子の上。
【Member of】Anti-Nobunaga, AllJapanGoith(ska shippe era), HIGHandMIGHTYCOLOR, INKT
【Support Drummer for】 Aoi Eir, LM.C, ORANGERANGE, delofamilia, Hiirage Rio… love CANOPUS & Zildjian.
Location: Sitting on your basic chair.
At least you can still see the INKT banner in the background and he still names INKT as one of his groups, but 💧.
SASSY'S blog update:
https://ameblo.jp/sassydrums/entry-12309325956.html
久しぶりの更新。
2017-09-10 00:37:52
バンドって本当1人ではどうにもならない。
メンバーが揃って同じ志を目指して集う。
本当奇跡だなって思います。再びバンドを始めてより思いました。
正直苦も多かったです。だけど、新しい4人で作り上げた音は本当に自信があってそれをライブで演奏出来、ステージで『生』を感じ、ライブ後にはめちゃくちゃ充実してたし、本当に幸せでした。
最後の最後まで諦めたくなかったです。正直無理矢理な形で活動続けていく選択肢も0では無かったとは思います。。が、僕個人として天秤にかける事が出来ない事情もありましたし、メンバー全員で本当に沢山悩み考え抜いての決断でした。
とにかくやり遂げられなかったツアー。最後まで信じてくれたファンのみんな、バンド仲間のみんなの事が最大の心残りです。約束を守れず本当に申し訳ない気持ちでいっぱいです。続けられず申し訳ありません。
全てだったINKTとしての活動が出来なくなり、人生の半分以上叩いたドラムも辞めようかと思いましたが、沢山の愛ある言葉だったり行動に自分のちっぽけなドラマーとしての生き甲斐を見つけました。
僕の演奏を必要としてくれてる人が1人でもいる限り叩いていきたいです。
色々ありましたが、僕はメンバーみんなの事が大好きです。最高の5人です。最高のチームでした！一旦このメンバーでの活動は終了…(一旦ね！
前を向いて進む仲間のみんなに負けないよう、また自分が演奏続けている事で元気付けられるよう命ある限り音楽し続けますので、
機会があればお会いしましょう！
多分また書きます♪
SASSY
Long Time No Update
Sept 19, 2017 around midnight
You can't really make a band by yourself.
You get together with all the members because you share the same vision.
It really is somewhat of a miracle when it does happen. Even more so than trying to restart a band.
To be honest, I felt a lot of bitterness. Still, I really had a lot of faith in the music that the four of us re-grouped to create. Being able to perform it on stage, I really felt what it means to play live music. After the shows, I really felt complete. It was elating.
Until the very, very end, I didn't want to quit.
I honestly wasn't completely against continuing with our activities, but I also, personally, am in the situation where I couldn't just leave things hanging, and all the members together really went back and forth and wracked our brains trying to make a decision.
Well, we weren't able to finish our tour. The biggest regret that lingers in the hearts of the guys and I is to the fans who believed in us until the very end. I am so full of sorrow that we weren't able to keep our promise to you. I'm sorry that we couldn't keep it going.
Having all of INKT's activities cancelled, I really considered giving up the drums, which I have been playing for more than half of my life, but I was moved by all of your loving messages to keep on going in my small way.
I want to keep drumming for as long as there is even one person who cares about my performance.
We've been through so much, but I really love all the members. The 5 of us together were the best. We made an awesome team!
Maybe someday, these members can finish what we started...(maybe, ok!
To stay positive and not lose to these dear friends of mine as they move ahead...I'm going to brush myself off and continue playing music until I can't play it anymore, so let's meet again if we have the chance!
I'll probably update again ♪
SASSY