New York City
Robin isn't sure that this is the best idea she's ever had. But she's been back in New York for a day and a half and she knows she has to face Ted and Marshall and Lily sooner or later. And if she's going to face them, then she's not going to do it alone. She hasn't told Barney about her plan, but after a quick trip to Milliways, she's back in New York with a Greek demi-god in tow.
"So," she says, as they exit the taxi and stand on the sidewalk outside of the pub. "What do you think of New York so far?" Granted, he's only seen the inside of her apartment and the streets between her place and the bar, but she's a little nervous about all this and having trouble making small talk.
Hercules "Tis been my home for awhile!" Herc says. "I have lived in many a place. But fair New York and its mortals always makes the Lion of Olympus feel welcome!"
Robin
"Is your New York a lot like this one?" Robin asks. Yes, she's stalling a little. Hush.
Hercules
"Tis quite similar," Herc says. "Though the lack of superheroes and villains is quite obvious."
Robin
Robin nods. "I think it might be best if you don't talk about superheroes and villains when we meet my friends."
Hercules
"Am I to pretend I am not Hercules either?" Herc says, pouting a little.
Robin
"No, that's fine," Robin says. "Just don't mention how we met."
Hercules
"Good!" Hercules says. "I would wish not to lie about my heritage. The son of Zeus has much to be proud of!"
Robin
Robin is starting to realize that this might be a bad idea. Her friends are going to think that she was picking up men in the loony bin. Oh well, she's committed to this now, however it goes. "Let's go in then," she says.
She opens the door the MacLaren's and is spotted immediately by her friends.
Lily
"Robin!" Lily calls, waving her over to 'their' booth. She stands up and hugs her. "You look great!"
Lily's gaze shifts to over Robin's shoulder. "Who's your... friend?"
Hercules
"My name is Hercules," Herc says, smiling broadly. "I am thy fair friend's date."
Ted
Ted, from where he sits, is stuck staring at Herc in jealous disbelief.
Barney
Barney, on the other hand, is staring at Robin with disapproval. Because he has a sneaky suspicion Robin didn't bring Herc home from Argentina.
Marshall
"Dude, you're, like, massive," Marshall says with appreciation. "And cool name!"
Robin
Robin is totally avoiding Barney's disapproving gaze. "Herc and I met while I was on vacation," she explains.
Barney
"Funny," Barney says, tilting his head while maintaining the gaze. "I didn't expect to see you bring anyone home with you. From Argentina."
Ted
Ted is scowling and pouting. She was winning the breakup.
Hercules
"Argentina!" Hercules says with a laugh. "We met in a bar. Twas fun to be had by all!"
Robin
"Yes, a bar," Robin says. "In Argentina." It wasn't technically a lie, she figured, since she had been in Argentina before getting to Milliways. "And he wanted to see my hometown, so here we are."
Lily
Lily smiles, trying to break the odd tension. "Robin, let's go buy some beer!" she suggests, standing up and threading her arm through Robin's so they can head to the bar.
Marshall
"Get a couple of pitchers," Marshall suggests.
Hercules
"What shall the rest of you drink?" Herc says with a mighty laugh.
Barney
"...I can't believe this," Barney says to Ted, totally ignoring the fact that Herc is hovering there.
Ted
"You can't believe this?" Ted says back to Barney, giving him eyes which say 'This is about me and my manpain, Barney'.
Hercules
"Do not worry!" Herc says. "I have yet to ravish thy friend and give her the joys of Olympus."
Barney
Barney now is really torn. Because A) it seemed like Hercules was his type of guy, but B) Robin was sob breaking the rules on their Milliways knowledge.
Marshall
Marshall sort of gapes at Herc. "I don't think Robin would appreciate you talking about ravishing her."
Ted
"Right," Ted says. "I think we can leave all talk of ravishing far, far away. Where is it you were from again, buddy?"
Hercules
"Olympus," Herc replies. "Though originally Greece."
Ted
"And you met Robin how, exactly?" Ted pries.
Barney
"Ted, come on," Barney interrupts, not wanting Herc to possibly give away the whole 'Milliways' stuff. "Just because you've not found a rippling muscled demigod of your own doesn't mean you should be rude to Herc, here."
He leans in to whisper in Ted's ear. "At least not to his face, would you look at the biceps on that guy? He could rip the awesomeness right out of us. And leave little awesome entrails all over the bar."
Lily
Meanwhile, over at the bar, Lily and Robin are having their own conversation.
"Robin, where on earth did you find that guy?" Lily demands. "He certainly doesn't look like an Argentinian."
Robin
"We were at the same bar," Robin says. "He's... sweet, in an overly dramatic sort of way."
Lily
Lily nods. "He's certainly built. Did you see Ted's face when you came in? You are totally winning this break up."
Hercules
"Hahaha!" Hercules burst forth with laughter from over where the men sit. But it's loud enough for the whole bar to hear. He does a little flexing to show off his muscles. "Where is my fair Robin?" he bellows. "Where is my beer?"
Ted
"...I am so ready to go out and find someone," Ted whispers to Barney.
Barney
"Yeah, don't worry," Barney whispers back. "We'll find you a couple of American Gladiators or something. Then you can run the gauntlet, whattup?" He raises his hand for a high-five.
Ted
Ted begrudgingly gives Barney his high-five.
Robin
Robin blanches a little at Herc's bellows, but she pastes on a smile and helps Lily carry the beer back over to the booth. "Here we go," she says. "Beer for everyone."
Marshall
Marshall immediately starts pouring glasses for everyone. "So, Hercules, tell us about Olympus," he says.
Hercules
"Tis been many an age since I dwelt there," Herc says. "Now I am content to live amongst the New Yorkers, and build great buildings!"
Barney
"Oh hey, what a coincidence, Ted here's an architect," Barney says. "I mean, you are an architect, right Herc?"
Hercules
"Nay," Hercules says. "I am but a humble construction worker."
Ted
"Oh what's that?" Ted says. "You only do the brute work? Well I guess some people don't need to think before they do things." He is so totally grumbly and pouty.
Robin
Robin gives Ted a bitch, please look. "I think it's more impressive to actually build a building than to plan how other people are going to build them."
Lily
Lily and Marshall exchange a look. This can't end well.
Hercules
"No, tis a fair statement," Herc says. "But can your architecture do this?" And with one movement, Herc stands and picks up the table and lifted it above his head.
With one hand.
Barney
"Careful of the suit!" Barney objects, avoiding any beer splashes.
Robin
Robin rubs her forehead. "I think maybe you should put the table down," she says. "Carefully."
Marshall
"Wow, dude, that's pretty impressive," Marshall says.
Ted
"Yeah, for an elephant," Ted grumbles.
Hercules
Herc sets the table down carefully. "Have faith in the Prince of Power, fair Robin," he says. "I would not drench thee in spirits!"
Barney
"Yeah, he's probably looking to drench you in something else," Barney says, eyeing Robin again. "Robin, sidebar?"
Robin
"I'll be right back," Robin says. "Try not to... lift anything else while I'm gone."
She reluctantly walks away from the table and stands next to the jukebox.
Barney
Barney follows her. "So, Scherbatsky... what were you thinking?"
Robin
"What are you talking about?" Robin asks, going for the innocent act.
Barney
"You're using our power for evil! That is so totally not awesome," Barney objects.
Robin
Robin holds up her hands. "I'm not doing anything evil!"
Barney
"You're using it to hurt Ted!" Barney says. "My best friend."
Robin
"Not deliberately!" Robin objects. "Are you saying I can never date again because it might hurt Ted?"
Barney
"Yes, because you brought along Hercules because he's such a caring individual. That guy looks like what would happen if Kevin Sorbo ate Chuck Norris. You are soooo not allowed to keep him," Barney says.
Robin
Robin sighs. "Fine. I wasn't planning to anyway. But he asked me out and I didn't want to hurt his feelings by turning him down."
Barney
"Good. Because if you bring him back here again, I will take Ted to Milliways. Do you want that?" Barney threatens.
Robin
"God, no," Robin says.
Barney
"Awesome," Barney says. "Now get rid of his Greekiness before you embarrass yourself."
Robin
"Too late," Robin mutters under her breath as she walks back over to the table. "Hey, Hercules, I hate to cut this short, but I just got a call from work and I have to go. I should take you back before I head to my job."
Ted
"Oh shucks," Ted says, dripping with sarcasm. "And here we were, having so much fun."
Hercules
"Tis sad we must part so soon," Hercules says, grabbing one of the beer pitchers. "Though the son of Zeus shall not let this beer be wasted!" He chugs it down easily, then stands. "I bid thee a fair day!"
Barney
"Oh, how will we ever live without you, Herc?" Barney says, in his best innocent voice.
Lily
Lily is giving Robin weird looks.
"But, Robin, I didn't even hear... ow!" Lily elbows Marshall in the side before he can finish his statement.
Robin
"I'll call you tomorrow, Lily," Robin says. "Later, guys."
Hercules
Herc follows Robin out. "Thy sneaky ways are not beyond the vision of Hercules, fair Robin," he says.
Robin
Robin smiles ruefully. "Sorry about that. I think bringing you here might have hurt Ted's feelings. He and I used to date."
Hercules
"I didst think I heard the rueful tones of jealousy," Herc says. "Poor Ted. He is nothing compared to the Lion of Olympus."
Robin
"Yeah, so I didn't want to stick around and make him feel worse," Robin explains. "I hope you understand."
Hercules
"Tis of no problem to Hercules," he says. "Shall we... retire to my room at Milliways?"
Robin
Okay, think fast Scherbatsky. "You know, I'd like to... except... I don't think I'm quite over Ted yet. Seeing him brought it all back. I don't think I'm ready to move on."
Hercules
Hercules chuckles. "You are a strange one, fair Robin."