TAKE YOUR WINGS OUTSIDE, YOU CAN'T FLY IN HERE
i just killed my philosophy exam. honestly i think i got 100%. well on the multiple choice. i wrote a really good essay on nietzsche too. yes. bio is the only one left to worry about. spanish is just a skit...and i'm CLAY AIKEN. FINALLY I GET TO BE CLAY AIKEN. my dreams are coming true. and art will be nothing. so after killing myself over bio today i'll be good to go. i went riding yesterday for the last time of the quarter, and it went really well. i rode valentino again and he's gotten more strength so he had more energy and was fun. we jumped 4 courses. the first one was a disaster but of course i was laughing the whole time...and i got progressively better. i actually did pretty well i thought. i rush my distances and jump ahead a lot, and if i didn't get my lead switch in back i didn't bother to correct it b/c i didn't want to get disorganized. but other than that, i was much more together than last time. i'm happy about that. and delightfully sore today!
5 days til home!!!
this song is called a better son or daughter by rilo kiley and summarizes my current state of mind better than my usual ramblings:
Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move
awake but cannot open my eyes
and the weight is crushing down on my lungs I know I can't breath
and hope someone will help me this time
your mother's still calling you insane and high
swearing it's different this time
and you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
and that god never blessed her insides
then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
and crawl back into bed to dream of a time
when your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
like the sick and the dying
and sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on
and your friends they sing along and they love you
BUT THE LOWS ARE SO EXTREME THAT THE GOOD SEEMS FUCKING CHEAP
AND IT TEASES YOU FOR WEEKS IN ITS ABSENCE
BUT YOU'LL FIGHT AND YOU'LL MAKE IT THROUGH
YOU'LL FAKE IT IF YOU HAVE TO
and you'll show up for work with a smile
and you'll be be better you'll be smarter
more grown up and a better daughter
or son and a real good friend
and you'll be awake and you'll be alert
you'll be positive though it hurts
and you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
and you'll be a real good listener
you'll be honest you'll be brave
you'll be handsome you'll be beautiful
you'll be happy
your ship may be coming in
you're weak but not giving in
to the cries and the wails of the valley below
your ship may be coming in
you're weak but not giving in
AND YOU'LL FIGHT IT YOU'LL GO OUT FIGHTING ALL OF THEM...
p.s. i'm thinking about going pre-med. like seriously considering it.
5 days til home!!!
this song is called a better son or daughter by rilo kiley and summarizes my current state of mind better than my usual ramblings:
Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move
awake but cannot open my eyes
and the weight is crushing down on my lungs I know I can't breath
and hope someone will help me this time
your mother's still calling you insane and high
swearing it's different this time
and you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
and that god never blessed her insides
then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
and crawl back into bed to dream of a time
when your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
like the sick and the dying
and sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on
and your friends they sing along and they love you
BUT THE LOWS ARE SO EXTREME THAT THE GOOD SEEMS FUCKING CHEAP
AND IT TEASES YOU FOR WEEKS IN ITS ABSENCE
BUT YOU'LL FIGHT AND YOU'LL MAKE IT THROUGH
YOU'LL FAKE IT IF YOU HAVE TO
and you'll show up for work with a smile
and you'll be be better you'll be smarter
more grown up and a better daughter
or son and a real good friend
and you'll be awake and you'll be alert
you'll be positive though it hurts
and you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
and you'll be a real good listener
you'll be honest you'll be brave
you'll be handsome you'll be beautiful
you'll be happy
your ship may be coming in
you're weak but not giving in
to the cries and the wails of the valley below
your ship may be coming in
you're weak but not giving in
AND YOU'LL FIGHT IT YOU'LL GO OUT FIGHTING ALL OF THEM...
p.s. i'm thinking about going pre-med. like seriously considering it.