15 characters part one
Hey guys, remember that 15 characters meme that went round? No, neither do I, it was a long time ago, but look! Responses!
For bkm5191, who hopefully knows Being Human:
Ianto Jones and Annie Sawyer are in a romantic comedy - how do they meet?
Ianto moves to Bristol for his nerves. It's the sort of city that doesn't get blown up very often, the sort of city where one's girlfriend is unlikely to die trapped in industrial wreckage. People make conversation at bus stops. The rent is cheap. The pigeons are clean. It's nice.
And then The Tea happens.
Ianto does not drink tea, does not make tea, does not own teabags of any kind and yet, somehow, cups of the stuff keep turning up all around the house. On the windowsill in the bathroom. On the shelf in the hall where he keeps unopened letters from Lisa's family. Anywhere, in fact, where there isn't a coaster.
And then someone keeps rearranging his kitchen cupboards, and his living room furniture and someone - he swears he isn't making this up - keeps making his bed while he's at work.
It's stress, he tells himself. Completely justifiable stress, what with the dead girlfriend and the move and the new job and really, who doesn't spend a few minutes every day in some kind of organisational fugue state? No-one. It's completely normal. It's fine.
Until he comes home from work one day and finds GET OUT written in red paint across the living room wall.
The policeman he calls says it's vandals, a sort of breaking-and-entering version of happy slapping, and he should get a more complicated lock.
Ianto does. And than he comes home to find his crockery in pieces on the kitchen floor, and all the doors and windows still intact.
The policeman gives him a leaflet for a breveavement group, and takes a cup of tea in return.
The next day, Ianto gets home to find his things have been packed back into his suitcases and piled up in the hall.
He gets halfway through dialling the police station's number before he hangs up and gets blind drunk instead. By the time things in the kitchen start rattling around of their own accord, Inato's hammered enough to stagger in there, take up a spatuala and rush gallantly at whatever invisible creature is about to throw his mortar and pestle across the room. He's also hammered enough to step right onto the broken lid of a cassarole dish, leap backin agony, slip and hit his head on the kitchen table as he goes down.
When he wakes up, there's a girl.
"Who are you?"
"Oh my gosh," she says, one hand over her mouth. "Oh no. Oh gosh. Oh shit, sorry, sorry. Sorry. Um. Annie. I'm Annie! And you're Ianto! And that's fantastic, really, great. Is it?"
"What?"
"Is it? Great. Really? I mean, really. I mean, if you found out you'd just died horribly in a really stupid way, how sad would you actually be?"
Dean Winchester works in a library. Uhura works in the coffee shop next door. Where does Mitchell work and are they all involved or do they hate each other?
!!! Clearly Uhura is the Chosen One, Mitchell is the ensouled vampire who steals her heart and Dean Winchester is a royal pain in the Watcher's Council's collective ass, but goddamnit he gets results.
"I brought you coffee," Uhura calls, swishing into Study Annex B. Dean wouldn't have thought there was room for a woman to swish properly in a space as cramped as Study Annex B currently is, but Uhura has a talent for it. "I don't know why I brought you coffee, seeing as I've been waiting on my John Donne now for six weeks."
"It's coming, it's coming."
"Have you even placed the request?"
"No," Dean says, without really meaning to. He blames it on the glare. One of these days he's going to go through his field notes and see if there's anythng in there about demons dressed as hot chicks who can control the speech centres of people's brains using only their eyes. He suspects the closest he'll get is a note saying: "The Winchesters: suckers for women who can kick the shit out of them."
"Excuse me," the thing in the chair says, "but what the fuck is wrong with you people?" It's staring at them like it's never seen two people hold a conversation before in its life. Maybe it hasn't. Dean doesn't remember shooting the breeze all that much in the Pit.
Uhura quirks an eyebrow. "Demon?"
"Demon."
"Oh, come on! Not you as well. Is everybody in this country fucking mental? I. Am. Not. A. Demon."
Uhura turns the eyebrow on Dean. He holds up his hands. "Black eyes, hasn't made it out if the Devil's Trap - "
"You've tied me to a fucking chair!"
" - shrugged off a shot to the chest like it was a mosquito bite. Do you need to ask the audience?"
The thing in the chair looks confused. "Oh my God," it says, "does he always talk like that?"
Uhura nods.
"Like what?"
"Just let it go, Dean."
"Yeah, Dean, let it go," the thing pipes up.
Dean scowls. The way this one plays human makes his skin crawl. "She didn't mean you," he says. And then, "You didn't, did you?"
"No. Have you tried iron yet?" Uhura perches on the edge of a desk and takes a sip of her coffee.
"Yes," says the thing, dejectedly. "And it didn't work, because nobody here is a demon. Jesus fucking Christ, you're not right."
For bkm5191, who hopefully knows Being Human:
Ianto Jones and Annie Sawyer are in a romantic comedy - how do they meet?
Ianto moves to Bristol for his nerves. It's the sort of city that doesn't get blown up very often, the sort of city where one's girlfriend is unlikely to die trapped in industrial wreckage. People make conversation at bus stops. The rent is cheap. The pigeons are clean. It's nice.
And then The Tea happens.
Ianto does not drink tea, does not make tea, does not own teabags of any kind and yet, somehow, cups of the stuff keep turning up all around the house. On the windowsill in the bathroom. On the shelf in the hall where he keeps unopened letters from Lisa's family. Anywhere, in fact, where there isn't a coaster.
And then someone keeps rearranging his kitchen cupboards, and his living room furniture and someone - he swears he isn't making this up - keeps making his bed while he's at work.
It's stress, he tells himself. Completely justifiable stress, what with the dead girlfriend and the move and the new job and really, who doesn't spend a few minutes every day in some kind of organisational fugue state? No-one. It's completely normal. It's fine.
Until he comes home from work one day and finds GET OUT written in red paint across the living room wall.
The policeman he calls says it's vandals, a sort of breaking-and-entering version of happy slapping, and he should get a more complicated lock.
Ianto does. And than he comes home to find his crockery in pieces on the kitchen floor, and all the doors and windows still intact.
The policeman gives him a leaflet for a breveavement group, and takes a cup of tea in return.
The next day, Ianto gets home to find his things have been packed back into his suitcases and piled up in the hall.
He gets halfway through dialling the police station's number before he hangs up and gets blind drunk instead. By the time things in the kitchen start rattling around of their own accord, Inato's hammered enough to stagger in there, take up a spatuala and rush gallantly at whatever invisible creature is about to throw his mortar and pestle across the room. He's also hammered enough to step right onto the broken lid of a cassarole dish, leap backin agony, slip and hit his head on the kitchen table as he goes down.
When he wakes up, there's a girl.
"Who are you?"
"Oh my gosh," she says, one hand over her mouth. "Oh no. Oh gosh. Oh shit, sorry, sorry. Sorry. Um. Annie. I'm Annie! And you're Ianto! And that's fantastic, really, great. Is it?"
"What?"
"Is it? Great. Really? I mean, really. I mean, if you found out you'd just died horribly in a really stupid way, how sad would you actually be?"
Dean Winchester works in a library. Uhura works in the coffee shop next door. Where does Mitchell work and are they all involved or do they hate each other?
!!! Clearly Uhura is the Chosen One, Mitchell is the ensouled vampire who steals her heart and Dean Winchester is a royal pain in the Watcher's Council's collective ass, but goddamnit he gets results.
"I brought you coffee," Uhura calls, swishing into Study Annex B. Dean wouldn't have thought there was room for a woman to swish properly in a space as cramped as Study Annex B currently is, but Uhura has a talent for it. "I don't know why I brought you coffee, seeing as I've been waiting on my John Donne now for six weeks."
"It's coming, it's coming."
"Have you even placed the request?"
"No," Dean says, without really meaning to. He blames it on the glare. One of these days he's going to go through his field notes and see if there's anythng in there about demons dressed as hot chicks who can control the speech centres of people's brains using only their eyes. He suspects the closest he'll get is a note saying: "The Winchesters: suckers for women who can kick the shit out of them."
"Excuse me," the thing in the chair says, "but what the fuck is wrong with you people?" It's staring at them like it's never seen two people hold a conversation before in its life. Maybe it hasn't. Dean doesn't remember shooting the breeze all that much in the Pit.
Uhura quirks an eyebrow. "Demon?"
"Demon."
"Oh, come on! Not you as well. Is everybody in this country fucking mental? I. Am. Not. A. Demon."
Uhura turns the eyebrow on Dean. He holds up his hands. "Black eyes, hasn't made it out if the Devil's Trap - "
"You've tied me to a fucking chair!"
" - shrugged off a shot to the chest like it was a mosquito bite. Do you need to ask the audience?"
The thing in the chair looks confused. "Oh my God," it says, "does he always talk like that?"
Uhura nods.
"Like what?"
"Just let it go, Dean."
"Yeah, Dean, let it go," the thing pipes up.
Dean scowls. The way this one plays human makes his skin crawl. "She didn't mean you," he says. And then, "You didn't, did you?"
"No. Have you tried iron yet?" Uhura perches on the edge of a desk and takes a sip of her coffee.
"Yes," says the thing, dejectedly. "And it didn't work, because nobody here is a demon. Jesus fucking Christ, you're not right."