My last and final goodbye.
My soul sought after and faught to be next to yours from the start. I didn't even have to be with you, but next to you was good enough. I'd settle. It seems now, settling is all i've done for you. You didn't know that my crying, tears streaming down my face meant that you should hold me, be near me as to ease the pain. I guess all along you were afraid of my pain. I am angered with you now because I cradled yours! I sheltered you, I forgave you time and time again when you'd lash out at me for your demons, the way they taunted you. No matter what, the power of my strength could not protect you from the harm your demons possessed. You didn't know that when I was feeling alone and upset that you should let me know you were there and would be there to catch me if I were to fall. I thought that my falling would be the greatest sin. I couldn't fall when I was there to hold you up. I was there to lead you through the vast fire, to carry your burden, to taste the bitter dust you spit as you walked in front of me. My favors to you, now, will never be redeemed. I have to turn away, to forget all that you messed up. I won't tell you 'I told you so', I won't be forcing you to drink your poison as you say I did, I won't be faltering your way anymore. I will be holding up myself. I will muster up the little that's left of me and rebuild to the sky above you. I'll be where I've always belonged. You still have a hold on my heart but it's not by your grip it's by the meaning I thought I saw in you and that will slowly but surely fade soon, but surely not soon enough.
You won't pull me down again.
A little insight:
How do alcoholics affect friends and families?
Alcoholism is a family disease. The disease affects all those who have a relationship with a problem drinker. Those of us closest to the alcoholic suffer the most, and those who care the most can easily get caught up in the behavior of another person. We react to the alcoholic's behavior. We focus on them, what they do, where they are, how much they drink. We try to control their drinking for them. We take on the blame, guilt and shame that really belong to the drinker. We can become as addicted to the alcoholic, as the alcoholic is to alcohol. We, too, can become ill.
You won't pull me down again.
A little insight:
How do alcoholics affect friends and families?
Alcoholism is a family disease. The disease affects all those who have a relationship with a problem drinker. Those of us closest to the alcoholic suffer the most, and those who care the most can easily get caught up in the behavior of another person. We react to the alcoholic's behavior. We focus on them, what they do, where they are, how much they drink. We try to control their drinking for them. We take on the blame, guilt and shame that really belong to the drinker. We can become as addicted to the alcoholic, as the alcoholic is to alcohol. We, too, can become ill.