(no subject)
Don't bother reading unless youre fast and/or have time.
I don't like spilling my guts to other people so I do it
I know a few people know about my cousin Kendra that passed away. And no matter how many years pass, it still hits my family so hard every April. I'll never stop missing her, and niether will my other cousins.
It's just one of those things that you never forget. I not only lost a cousin, I lost a best friend. She honestly should not have left us. She was only 13 and the most graceful ballet dancer for her age. There are so many amazing things about her and I like to think of the person she would be today if she were still with us. I know she'd be so successful, and probably still dancing. She always looked out for her younger sisters, and my brother and me. I just miss her, and now that I`m older I just wish it were possible to hug her and tell her I love her so much.
I hated God for a long time. I hated him, but still believed in him.
And now, my cousin Katie has cancer... the girl is 17 and she has cancer around her cervix.
Losing relatives may not be a big deal for some families, but for mine.. on my mom's side, and my dad's side, where we are all SO close with each other, it hits everyone hard.
I've lost my uncle Archie, my cousin Kendra, my grandma Roselyn, my grandpa Arch, my Papa Dolan.
If I lose Katie, I don't know what I`ll do. My aunt told her today everything thats wrong, and she KNOWS what to do and what to STOP doing. The girl smokes so much pot everyday of her life. She binge drinks. And is sexually active, which is the reason for her getting ill in the first place.
She acts as if nothing is wrong, which is good to an extent. But sooner or later it needs to hit her that she is sick and needs to think about it. I'm afraid its going to be later rather than sooner. I'm just heartbroken at the thought of losing another cousin and I don't know what to do.
I never got to say goodbye to Kendra, I was young and didn't know how to handle death, especially with someone I was that close with. I'm older, and I love Katie, I just don't know the right words to say to her. I want to help her, and I want to beg her to change her lifestyle, but there is no way of doing that without making it seem like I'm lecturing her. She doesn't handle adults talking to her like that very well.
I found out last night, cried so hard the entire night, did not sleep at all, cried this morning, and went to work. I dont feel tired, I don't feel upset, happy, mad, or anything... I just feel so numb right now and I don't know what to think.
My Aunt Kathy is thee most religous person I know in the world. She goes to church ever single day, in her free time, she is in church praying. Praying for her daughters, praying they will stop drinking, smoking pot, sleeping around, do good in school. She prays for a better life for them both. She does nothing for herself. She does everything for those girls. She does ANYTHING for her mother, and her sisters. My aunt is the most unselfish human being alive and turns to God for everything, prays about EVERYTHING. And this happens? Her daughter gets cancer. Why would this happen to the woman who prays throughout the day for her daughters. And has done that the day her first daughter was born. Sure... my mom calls it a test. But she has been tested enough and I do not understand why this would happen to her. It breaks my heart to watch her go through all she does.
I dont understand.
I dont want to lose my cousin.
Another one.
I want to sleep, wake up in the morning, and have everything be ok again.
But that's impossible.
I don't like spilling my guts to other people so I do it
I know a few people know about my cousin Kendra that passed away. And no matter how many years pass, it still hits my family so hard every April. I'll never stop missing her, and niether will my other cousins.
It's just one of those things that you never forget. I not only lost a cousin, I lost a best friend. She honestly should not have left us. She was only 13 and the most graceful ballet dancer for her age. There are so many amazing things about her and I like to think of the person she would be today if she were still with us. I know she'd be so successful, and probably still dancing. She always looked out for her younger sisters, and my brother and me. I just miss her, and now that I`m older I just wish it were possible to hug her and tell her I love her so much.
I hated God for a long time. I hated him, but still believed in him.
And now, my cousin Katie has cancer... the girl is 17 and she has cancer around her cervix.
Losing relatives may not be a big deal for some families, but for mine.. on my mom's side, and my dad's side, where we are all SO close with each other, it hits everyone hard.
I've lost my uncle Archie, my cousin Kendra, my grandma Roselyn, my grandpa Arch, my Papa Dolan.
If I lose Katie, I don't know what I`ll do. My aunt told her today everything thats wrong, and she KNOWS what to do and what to STOP doing. The girl smokes so much pot everyday of her life. She binge drinks. And is sexually active, which is the reason for her getting ill in the first place.
She acts as if nothing is wrong, which is good to an extent. But sooner or later it needs to hit her that she is sick and needs to think about it. I'm afraid its going to be later rather than sooner. I'm just heartbroken at the thought of losing another cousin and I don't know what to do.
I never got to say goodbye to Kendra, I was young and didn't know how to handle death, especially with someone I was that close with. I'm older, and I love Katie, I just don't know the right words to say to her. I want to help her, and I want to beg her to change her lifestyle, but there is no way of doing that without making it seem like I'm lecturing her. She doesn't handle adults talking to her like that very well.
I found out last night, cried so hard the entire night, did not sleep at all, cried this morning, and went to work. I dont feel tired, I don't feel upset, happy, mad, or anything... I just feel so numb right now and I don't know what to think.
My Aunt Kathy is thee most religous person I know in the world. She goes to church ever single day, in her free time, she is in church praying. Praying for her daughters, praying they will stop drinking, smoking pot, sleeping around, do good in school. She prays for a better life for them both. She does nothing for herself. She does everything for those girls. She does ANYTHING for her mother, and her sisters. My aunt is the most unselfish human being alive and turns to God for everything, prays about EVERYTHING. And this happens? Her daughter gets cancer. Why would this happen to the woman who prays throughout the day for her daughters. And has done that the day her first daughter was born. Sure... my mom calls it a test. But she has been tested enough and I do not understand why this would happen to her. It breaks my heart to watch her go through all she does.
I dont understand.
I dont want to lose my cousin.
Another one.
I want to sleep, wake up in the morning, and have everything be ok again.
But that's impossible.