[FanFic] If Only
Title: If Only
Prompt: Finland, Sweden - Too late [Optional time period: 1800s or 1900s]
Rating: PG
Word Count: 525
Summary: Confessions aren't easy, and the outcome isn't always good.
Looking across the small café table, Finland quirked his lips at the man sitting there uncomfortably fiddling with his hat.
"I wish that you'd said something before." He said quietly as Sweden bit his lip.
"I couldn't." Sweden eventually mumbled.
"Why not?" He prompted, well used to having to draw information out of the stoic man, one word at a time if necessary.
"Boss told me I couldn't." Finland blinked.
"You told your boss?" Shaking his head, Finland interrupted himself before Sweden could get a word in edgewise. "Never mind, I don't want to know." Sweden's cheeks were dusted pink, but Finland ignored it. "What made you agree with him? I know you've ignored your bosses before."
"…" Sweden's silence was accompanied by a lot of lip-biting and hat-fiddling. "I was scared." He eventually mumbled, so quietly that Finland had to strain to hear it.
"You think I wasn't?" Finland parried, keeping his voice calm and even. Sweden's eyes shot up to meet his.
"You were scared?" His voice was surprisingly clear, horror written in the whiteness of his cheeks and the wideness of his eyes.
"Terrified," Finland confirmed, "and too scared to tell you." Across the table, Sweden's shoulders slumped down.
"I didn't know." He told his hat. Reaching across the table, Finland gently grabbed hold of his hand and squeezed it.
"I didn't want you to know." He said simply.
"I didn't hurt you did I?" Sweden asked suddenly, his hand clenching spasmodically in Finland's.
"Not much," Finland started, still a little worried about Sweden's reaction, "and only in the beginning."
"I'm sorry." Sweden said, contriteness clear in his tone and on his face.
"Thank you." Finland said. "But it wasn't all your fault. Just because I was scared was no reason to allow you to hurt me. Once I stopped being scared, it stopped hurting and I started to enjoy it."
"You did?" Sweden looked up, his face still white. "Really?"
"Really." Finland confirmed with a nod, letting go of Sweden's hand to pick up his coffee and take a sip. "I think that you would have enjoyed it to, if you had been willing to try it."
"…" Sweden's formally white face flushed scarlet and his lips moved as though he was trying to say something. "You really think so?" He eventually managed.
"Definitely." Finland watched whilst Sweden took a calming sip of his own coffee, his face still flaming. "You could still have been in charge as well, held me down and had your wicked way with me."
"…" It should not have been possible for Sweden to blush any harder, and yet Finland watched in fascination as redness intensified and beads of sweat popped out on his forehead.
"If only you had asked me back then, I would've jumped at the chance." Finland said as he watched Sweden's face carefully.
"Back then?" Sweden started, understanding dawning in his eyes, "But not now?"
"No, not now. We're different people now, with different lives. I'm sorry." With that, Finland drained his cup and rose to his feet. "Thank you for the coffee, I'll see you next week at the Nordic Council."
***END***