Awake
Just sitting here, staring at the computer screen. I should go to sleep. But the computer is a drug. It's the only company I have. I am lonely. And I don't wanna write on my fanfic, cause then I'll feel even lonelier. Trying to chat with some friends, installing the new ICQ, (which is crazy, who uses that anymore?) just trying to find someone to talk to. It's during desperate hours like these, when I think I should return to Lunarstorm. Just to experience some mindless chatting with a stranger. Anything to keep me from feeling like I've fallen off the earth or something. I hate when I feel like this. When the smallest thing makes me cry. Extreme Home Makeover on TV, a song, a thought, the actual hour...
So I buy things to fill this void. I shouldn't, but what can I do? Luckily I'm starting to save money now. ('bout time...) So now I won't have as much cash to burn on my lonely heart. That's great I suppose.
I can't sleep like this. I will only start weeping and there will be no end to it. I also hate sleeping cause that's when my OCD is at its worst. Always these things that I have to do, that don't make sense to a normal person and I wish they didn't make sense to me either, cause then I wouldn't be stuck doing them. I thought being on vacation would actually help me relax, but no, that is not the case. Whatever, I guess I'll never get rid of these stupid compulsive thoughts...
Maybe I should write more on my letter, just pour my heart out. I'll probably not send it like that, but it would be nice to actually write it down. I think... I guess.
So I buy things to fill this void. I shouldn't, but what can I do? Luckily I'm starting to save money now. ('bout time...) So now I won't have as much cash to burn on my lonely heart. That's great I suppose.
I can't sleep like this. I will only start weeping and there will be no end to it. I also hate sleeping cause that's when my OCD is at its worst. Always these things that I have to do, that don't make sense to a normal person and I wish they didn't make sense to me either, cause then I wouldn't be stuck doing them. I thought being on vacation would actually help me relax, but no, that is not the case. Whatever, I guess I'll never get rid of these stupid compulsive thoughts...
Maybe I should write more on my letter, just pour my heart out. I'll probably not send it like that, but it would be nice to actually write it down. I think... I guess.