(no subject)
SHAWN IS RETARDED BECAUSE HE IS A BOY.
BUT ALAS I DO LOVE HIM SO HE CAN BE AS SINFULLY RETARDED AS HE WANTS TO BE.
I LIKE HOW THE APARTMENT IS ALWAYS FILLED WITH INDIE MUSIC.
ITS HOW WE DO.
I MET MY GOAL OF NO CUTTING FOR 3 WEEKS. THATS THE LONGEST IVE HONESTLY GONE WITHOUT SLICING. I DONT KNOW WHO TO TELL.
shawn took away my razor blade. and i sort of feel naked without it. i know that ive really given it up, but for some reason i still need it to you know that if perhaps anything goes wrong i could always resort to that. perhaps the last step is not needing that, and not having to turn to that-- this is
what ill have to go to counseling for.
I REALLY WANT TO TELL THE WORLD.
IM INFATUATED WITH THE KILLERS, mr.brightside & smile like you mean it.
PLAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
THEN THERE IS THAT P.ROACH SONG:
I TEAR MY HEART OPEN
I SEW MYSELF SHUT
MY WEAKNESS IS
THAT I CARE TOO MUCH
AND MY SCARS REMIND ME
THAT THE PAST IS REAL
I TEAR MY HEART OPEN
JUST TO FEEL.
HELLO, SHIELLA'S STORY OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.
that, that stupid song right there is my relationship with shawn. its fucking ridiculous how i open the fucking flood gates, my emotions, MY FUCKING HEART and i mend myself. i care too much, and i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing AND I WANT TO ASK YOU SO BAD how you feel about me telling you i love you and how you feel about the way i feel because... i want you to save me from drowning. and cock balls, i do have scars. and everything in the past does happen, and i have this relic from my past that says yeah maybe you can get over things. i'm caring for you, and everything about you and i'm dying so many deaths and im staying vulnerable, hurting just so i can feel this. FEEL YOU. feel everything amazing thats going on between us.
AHHHHHHHHH.
im exhausted.
I LIKE HOW ITS TUESDAY AND THERE ARE ALREADY PLANS FOR THIS WEEKEND.
saturday: cristi and i got invited to chanel's housewarming party. yes, we're all going to drink our happy asses retarded. yes, we're bringing our boyfriends. yes, we're getting them drunk too. i'm soooooo excited about that.
sunday: we've been meaning to go to laser floyd "dark side of the moon" because its ridiculously good when youre high. and its even good sober so ill enjoy it just as much as cristi will.
BUT ALAS I DO LOVE HIM SO HE CAN BE AS SINFULLY RETARDED AS HE WANTS TO BE.
I LIKE HOW THE APARTMENT IS ALWAYS FILLED WITH INDIE MUSIC.
ITS HOW WE DO.
I MET MY GOAL OF NO CUTTING FOR 3 WEEKS. THATS THE LONGEST IVE HONESTLY GONE WITHOUT SLICING. I DONT KNOW WHO TO TELL.
shawn took away my razor blade. and i sort of feel naked without it. i know that ive really given it up, but for some reason i still need it to you know that if perhaps anything goes wrong i could always resort to that. perhaps the last step is not needing that, and not having to turn to that-- this is
what ill have to go to counseling for.
I REALLY WANT TO TELL THE WORLD.
IM INFATUATED WITH THE KILLERS, mr.brightside & smile like you mean it.
PLAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
THEN THERE IS THAT P.ROACH SONG:
I TEAR MY HEART OPEN
I SEW MYSELF SHUT
MY WEAKNESS IS
THAT I CARE TOO MUCH
AND MY SCARS REMIND ME
THAT THE PAST IS REAL
I TEAR MY HEART OPEN
JUST TO FEEL.
HELLO, SHIELLA'S STORY OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.
that, that stupid song right there is my relationship with shawn. its fucking ridiculous how i open the fucking flood gates, my emotions, MY FUCKING HEART and i mend myself. i care too much, and i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing AND I WANT TO ASK YOU SO BAD how you feel about me telling you i love you and how you feel about the way i feel because... i want you to save me from drowning. and cock balls, i do have scars. and everything in the past does happen, and i have this relic from my past that says yeah maybe you can get over things. i'm caring for you, and everything about you and i'm dying so many deaths and im staying vulnerable, hurting just so i can feel this. FEEL YOU. feel everything amazing thats going on between us.
AHHHHHHHHH.
im exhausted.
I LIKE HOW ITS TUESDAY AND THERE ARE ALREADY PLANS FOR THIS WEEKEND.
saturday: cristi and i got invited to chanel's housewarming party. yes, we're all going to drink our happy asses retarded. yes, we're bringing our boyfriends. yes, we're getting them drunk too. i'm soooooo excited about that.
sunday: we've been meaning to go to laser floyd "dark side of the moon" because its ridiculously good when youre high. and its even good sober so ill enjoy it just as much as cristi will.