(no subject)
i dont think ive posted since the holidays and now that school is in session, well its back to this.
i dont think ill ever get better, ever. i now pray that people will just accept that. i know they wont, they shouldnt, but sometimes when i have to steal razorblades from the bookstore and i find myself in a bathroom stall at the far end of campus i wonder. desperate isnt the right word, but its the first that comes to mind. i shouldnt accept that, i wont.
things i got for christmas:
from cristi-- ramones t-shirt, razorblade beltbuckle (hell fucking yes), SAVED! dvd, hello kitty lip gloss :D
from shawn-- the cutest shoes ever, choke by chuck palahniuk, versace perfume, and a santa hat
i pretty much spent all of winter break with the boyfriend. i dont think there could be much elaboration on how well that went.
i went to the hospital on the 23rd for my cutting. i went ape shit and it wasnt such a happy fun thing, right? i wisked away into a pretty little ambulance, and yes its a trip to watch yourself drive backwards. i got introuble for trying to stick my hand in the little red box because i was looking for needles, and i came out of it with a urine test affirming that i wasnt pregnant, a stupid bracelet, and a mess of trouble over finally getting help.
blah blah blah.
shawn met my parents. enough said.
anyway, i'm going to go ---snip snip snip.
resolutions:
stop cutting (kduh)
loose 20lbs (which never happen)
move out (which will happen within the next 2 months)
be happy
i dont think ill ever get better, ever. i now pray that people will just accept that. i know they wont, they shouldnt, but sometimes when i have to steal razorblades from the bookstore and i find myself in a bathroom stall at the far end of campus i wonder. desperate isnt the right word, but its the first that comes to mind. i shouldnt accept that, i wont.
things i got for christmas:
from cristi-- ramones t-shirt, razorblade beltbuckle (hell fucking yes), SAVED! dvd, hello kitty lip gloss :D
from shawn-- the cutest shoes ever, choke by chuck palahniuk, versace perfume, and a santa hat
i pretty much spent all of winter break with the boyfriend. i dont think there could be much elaboration on how well that went.
i went to the hospital on the 23rd for my cutting. i went ape shit and it wasnt such a happy fun thing, right? i wisked away into a pretty little ambulance, and yes its a trip to watch yourself drive backwards. i got introuble for trying to stick my hand in the little red box because i was looking for needles, and i came out of it with a urine test affirming that i wasnt pregnant, a stupid bracelet, and a mess of trouble over finally getting help.
blah blah blah.
shawn met my parents. enough said.
anyway, i'm going to go ---snip snip snip.
resolutions:
stop cutting (kduh)
loose 20lbs (which never happen)
move out (which will happen within the next 2 months)
be happy