(no subject)
i practically spent the whole day with shawn. no, correct that. i did spend the whole day with shawn.
it was nice how he was punctual yesterday, and i was almost relieved that schmitz hall wasnt open because i knew that i would be late upon seeing him if i payed tuition right then and there. so he picked me up and he looked like sin because he had been clubbin all night but he did call me the night before to confirm plans, be nice and tell me good night. guys, wednesday night is ladies night, and son of a bitch i was jealous. but we're not going to tell anyone that.
there was a lot of love made, and had been made and then it was just nice. we didnt argue, and he was just being honest to me. he told me that i could be cold hearted, and i hate to say it, but its true. i'm not a nice person and i totally proved that to him that one day and i feel WRETCHED. so i'm going to try to work on that, regardless of what i think people think about me, its just not kosher anymore to be blatant and rude. especially to this guy that i'm madly crushing over and it was just righteous.
so we were cuddling and i was like:
shiella: so what are you doing later?
shawn: nothing really. why?
shiella: oh, nothing.
shawn: did you like want to hang out and stuff later?
FUCK YES I DID. and we did, we so did. he took me back to campus so i could go to my classes and then afterwards he came a picked me up and we went back to auburn. do you understand that the udistrict and shiella's house is like a 45-60 minute drive? shawn goes 45 minutes out of his way to be with me, what does that tell us?
so we get to the house and i'm fucking tired. let me tell you i'm fucking EXHAUSTED. and you could totally tell he is too because we had to walk from the campus to the bookstore so we didnt have to deal with parking and all that jazz. initially we decided that movie and a dinner would be appropriate since what else would we do right? but we ended up sleeping. from 4-7 we layed in bed and we slept. hardcore cuddling, and his feet hanging off the bed under the hello kitty blanket. warm as fuck. shawn snores guys, and there are monsters outside my window called children that like to scream, but its okay. it was nice, to just lay there was nice. that and we both desperately needed sleep because neither of us had had much this past week.
we woke up, and we went to subway. i bought him dinner because he bought me dinner last time and he could barely afford groceries so it just made sense to. we ate fresh, and sat on the couch for a little and talked and cuddled and it was just nice. he had to leave because he still had homework to do, and naturally he would spend his whole thursday doing homework but i totally consumed that and it was okay. i think it totally made all the heart when he said "i came all the way to auburn to have a nap with you."
at the end it was like, i had a great time spending the day with you. shiella, i own your ass and shawn i own your tuesdays and thursdays. im sad i wont really get to see him next week because ill have midterms but hopefully something will free up and itll be okay. he has classes from 8-4 with no breaks on MWF, and so its nice that he gets to spend the off time with me. i kind of like how our relationship has turned into more, its making sense now, just the way i like and wanted it. inside, i know he wanted it too and that makes sense.
im calling karen tonight, to discuss all this and danny. i havent been happy in a while, i mean happy with a significant other, and things are starting to fall back into place. i know that even without shawn though, all this cleaning up would have had to come about already and i'm okay with that. i really, really am. im better off this way and i cant handle things better. i dont get bad anxiety and its working out.
amy if you ever want to call, hang out for a bit or whatever you have my cell number. same goes for janie. i'm not pushing us to be friends anytime soon because i have a lot of redemption, but offer is on the table and ill be kosher.
harr. off to ochem.
it was nice how he was punctual yesterday, and i was almost relieved that schmitz hall wasnt open because i knew that i would be late upon seeing him if i payed tuition right then and there. so he picked me up and he looked like sin because he had been clubbin all night but he did call me the night before to confirm plans, be nice and tell me good night. guys, wednesday night is ladies night, and son of a bitch i was jealous. but we're not going to tell anyone that.
there was a lot of love made, and had been made and then it was just nice. we didnt argue, and he was just being honest to me. he told me that i could be cold hearted, and i hate to say it, but its true. i'm not a nice person and i totally proved that to him that one day and i feel WRETCHED. so i'm going to try to work on that, regardless of what i think people think about me, its just not kosher anymore to be blatant and rude. especially to this guy that i'm madly crushing over and it was just righteous.
so we were cuddling and i was like:
shiella: so what are you doing later?
shawn: nothing really. why?
shiella: oh, nothing.
shawn: did you like want to hang out and stuff later?
FUCK YES I DID. and we did, we so did. he took me back to campus so i could go to my classes and then afterwards he came a picked me up and we went back to auburn. do you understand that the udistrict and shiella's house is like a 45-60 minute drive? shawn goes 45 minutes out of his way to be with me, what does that tell us?
so we get to the house and i'm fucking tired. let me tell you i'm fucking EXHAUSTED. and you could totally tell he is too because we had to walk from the campus to the bookstore so we didnt have to deal with parking and all that jazz. initially we decided that movie and a dinner would be appropriate since what else would we do right? but we ended up sleeping. from 4-7 we layed in bed and we slept. hardcore cuddling, and his feet hanging off the bed under the hello kitty blanket. warm as fuck. shawn snores guys, and there are monsters outside my window called children that like to scream, but its okay. it was nice, to just lay there was nice. that and we both desperately needed sleep because neither of us had had much this past week.
we woke up, and we went to subway. i bought him dinner because he bought me dinner last time and he could barely afford groceries so it just made sense to. we ate fresh, and sat on the couch for a little and talked and cuddled and it was just nice. he had to leave because he still had homework to do, and naturally he would spend his whole thursday doing homework but i totally consumed that and it was okay. i think it totally made all the heart when he said "i came all the way to auburn to have a nap with you."
at the end it was like, i had a great time spending the day with you. shiella, i own your ass and shawn i own your tuesdays and thursdays. im sad i wont really get to see him next week because ill have midterms but hopefully something will free up and itll be okay. he has classes from 8-4 with no breaks on MWF, and so its nice that he gets to spend the off time with me. i kind of like how our relationship has turned into more, its making sense now, just the way i like and wanted it. inside, i know he wanted it too and that makes sense.
im calling karen tonight, to discuss all this and danny. i havent been happy in a while, i mean happy with a significant other, and things are starting to fall back into place. i know that even without shawn though, all this cleaning up would have had to come about already and i'm okay with that. i really, really am. im better off this way and i cant handle things better. i dont get bad anxiety and its working out.
amy if you ever want to call, hang out for a bit or whatever you have my cell number. same goes for janie. i'm not pushing us to be friends anytime soon because i have a lot of redemption, but offer is on the table and ill be kosher.
harr. off to ochem.