(no subject)
Name: Suz
Age: 21.
Personal Journal: fidrich
AIM/MSN/Yahoo: bletherinskellum
-CHARACTER-
Fandom: Death Note
Name: Mail (Matt) Jeevas
Age: 19/20
Disturbed? Y
HISTORY: http://deathnote.wikia.com/wiki/Matt
Matt is dead, but he doesn't know it.
Some people say your life flashes before you eyes in the moments before you die. A future flashed before Matt's - one in which he could reasonably survive, and one he clung to desperately. As far as Disturbed!Matt is concerned, this future IS what happened to him, and it's had a profound effect on his personality.
Being highly intelligent, Matt realised that he wasn't going to escape from the shooting without consequence. He knew he was badly damaged, badly injured, and managed in that split second to make a fairly accurate assessment of those injuries; if he had somehow managed to survive, he guessed that he'd probably spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
For the rest of this app I'm going to write as though what Matt believes happened DID happen. That's what's important to his character, and I don't really have any interest in him 'discovering' that it's not true. For all intents and purposes it is true - the effects are exactly the same as if it had really happened.
After the shooting on the 26th of January, one of Near's people was instructed to recover Matt's body. As it turned out he was still clinging, barely to life; the boy was taken to an illegal, underground surgeon, who helped to stabalise him a little. As soon as it was possible he was smuggled to an Australian hospital, Australia being the closest country where Matt's ethnicity would not raise eyebrows.
As it happened, Matt survived. He underwent a good deal of surgery, and it was some time before he regained full consciousness. When he did, he was informed that he'd been paralyzed from the waist down. The greatest trauma had happened at the thoracic part of the spine, meaning that his hands, arms, head and breathing were unaffected, and that with further surgery and physiotherapy Matt would have good trunk and even abdominal muscle control.
While in hospital, Matt is kept a close eye on by his 'cousin', Gevanni. He's given the identity of Brendan McCleod, younger son of a wealthy family who'd gone off the rails and gotten himself into trouble in America before running off to Australia to try to evade retribution. The cover story works well enough, and explains the money given to the hospital staff not to ask too many questions.
Near pays for his care, though Matt never sees him and is never contacted directly by him. After nine months he's finally discharged (more to do with the waves of pro-Kira discontent dying down than anything else; physically speaking he was as ready for independent for independent living as he'd ever be after five.) The comfortable, adapted apartment in a Brisbane suburb he moves to is also paid for by Near. With Near paying his bills, he refuses to work, falls into a depression, and begins self-medicating to an unhealthy extent. He arrives in Disturbia about six months after being discharged from in-patient care.
PERSONALITY: There's a difference between deciding not to play the game, and playing the game and failing. Before he got shot, Matt was third in line to succeed L, the greatest detective in the world. While he genuinely had little interest in this, Matt was able to coast at third place - and quietly, secretly, a tiny part of him nursed a belief that maybe if he put the effort in, if he decided to care more, he could rise even further. It was an extremely comfortable position to be in, allowing Matt to feel confident - even slightly superior - without actually having to prove himself. He was able to feel a certain amount of control (he chose not to be part of the race), and kept him from feeling particularly inferior to his best friend, Mello. Although Matt was generally intelligent enough to understand that this was mostly a daydream, it did give him a certain cockiness: he made a number of mistakes while keeping tabs on the Kira task force simply by overestimating his concentration and his ability to multi-task.
All this came to pieces after the Kira case - the only case he ever voluntarily got involved with - ended so badly for him. With his best friend dead, his self-image shattered and his body broken, Matt lost a lot of his confidence. Although Matt liked to think of himself as non-competitive (and he had to be, to a certain degree, with a friend like Mello), he was brought up at Wammy's House, and at a very basic level his sense of worth is linked with his ability to achieve. To fail as spectacularly as he did has had a massive effect on him. It's important to note that since Matt never overtly tried to prove himself, this is his first experience with failure of any kind - unlike Mello, he's not developed any strategies to deal with it before now. By the time he ends up in Disturbia he is profoundly isolated and on his way towards developing a drink problem.
Disturbed!Matt's taken to using alcohol as a way of both self-medicating and relieving boredom. It also helps him, on the occasions when he does venture out of his apartment, to feel less self-conscious about his disability; he'll often become chatty and friendly, closer to how he was before the shooting. Of course, there are also occasions where he becomes maudlin, particularly if he's on his own. (A subject that will set him off while he's in company, weirdly enough, is driving: he used to spend a great deal of time on his car, and was an unreserved speed freak.) He's not developed any particular friendships in his time in Brisbane, since most of the ones he had in America he made while clubbing - standing outside and chatting to people while smoking, then tagging along to parties afterwards.
Before his time in hospital, Matt enjoyed looking striking. He'd wear stripes, bold colours, long leather gloves and high boots. He dyed his hair and tended to wear several layers at once. This has changed somewhat - partly because he's not used to the Australian climate yet, and partly because there's no real use in aggressive camouflage any more: as far as Matt can figure, he's going to be remembered as 'the guy in the wheelchair' anyway. He's more likely to be found in a t-shirt than a sweater, his hands are usually bare, and his hair's back to it's original light brown. He still wears the goggles.
In terms of mobility, Matt has good use of his upper body and most of his trunk. He's able to look after himself in every way, and by now is proficient in getting around, transferring himself on and off the wheelchair, navigating on the wheelchair, etc. He's completely paralysed from the waist down (the damage mostly occurring around the 8th to 10th vertebrae of the Thoracic part of the spine) but has good sitting balance. In order to keep the muscles from deteriorating completely, Matt attends regular physiotherapy (again, paid for by Near). As part of the hospital's programme of outpatient care, he also attends fortnightly 'therapy' sessions, which he finds less than useless since Brendan McCleod's problems are quite different from his own. He goes almost entirely to keep up the identity - but part of him just needs the excuse for human interaction. Lately he's gotten into the habit of turning up to the sessions at least mildly drunk. Additionally, Matt is impotent. At the age of twenty, this is understandably quite upsetting; Matt believes it's a real barrier to ever having a serious relationship.
Matt has mixed feelings about Near, and about his memories of Mello. Near is essentially keeping Matt, and occasionally sends messages to him via Matt's 'cousin Stephen' (Gevanni). Matt sometimes suspects that this is mostly inspired by guilt. Sometimes he thinks it's a weird feeling of fraternity. Other times he thinks Near is simply trying to keep him on his good side, in case he ever needs him. In any case, he's quite content to live on Near's money for as long as the younger boy offers it. His feelings about Mello are more complicated still - Mello's plan left Matt crippled, after all. He misses his friend acutely. He's also extremely angry with him. Intellectually Matt knows this is an entirely normal reaction to loss, but he'd rather drink than have to think about it.
On a day-to-day basis, Matt is friendly, but also guarded and polite. He really does crave more human contact, but often feels anxious about interacting with people, especially in retrospect.
-SAMPLES-
Both samples should be written for the character you're applying to play.
First Person:
[Private//unhackable]
You know something I never thought I'd hear myself say again? 'It's cold.' Guess I didn't really see myself traveling much. But Jesus it's cold here. I should pick myself up a warmer jacket.
Haven't been out yet - it's cold enough in the apartment, thanks. I can't really keep ordering shit in, not when I need to watch my own budget again. Should probably hit the store. There must be something close by, right? Some little mom and pop store, whatever. And something to play would be good. Listening to these guys go on and on just doesn't cut it against a decent FPS.
I'm going to wind up having to admit this place is legit. I don't want to. I'm done with all this stupid inexplicable supernatural shit. I'd rather have Stephen pop out of nowhere and tell me this is some fucking - virtual reality experiment of Near's. Sure, and pigs will fly.
Holy fuck I need a drink.
Third Person:
Matt knew he wasn't going to die.
He knew it when Mello explained the plan; he knew it as he skidded through the streets of Tokyo. He knew it as he raised his hands above his head, all calm reasonable voice and charming boyish smile.
He might have experienced a moment of doubt when the first bullet hit, an explosion of pain so fast he barely even felt it; almost visual, more like a blinding white flash through his body. Then another, and another, like some bizarre tropical storm behind his eyelids and now he feels it, sheer agony as he falls and thinks maybe this wasn't such a great idea after--
The doubt is only consumed because everything else is, too.
But Matt was right.
He opens his eyes and stares at the blurred mesh of grey and white. It's calming, a little surprising - because it's night, isn't it? Night time in Tokyo. Something happens next to him, and he hears, "Mr McCloud." It's coming from very far away. Matt ignores it, because clearly it isn't talking to him.
"- awake, Mr -"
He's Mr Jeevas, Mail Jeevas -
"- cousin barely left your side -"
- no, not Jeevas either. Thomas. That's the name he'd been using. But he can see the nurse now, and she is talking to him after all - talking about a cousin. And cousin means Mello, or one of Mello's men, and Matt feels a surge of triumph (we did it, we fucking did it) rise though him that's only hampered by the growing awareness that something is not right.
"I," he croaks. His voice feels rough and unused. "I can't feel -"
"I have some bad news," the nurse says.
*
Mello is dead.
That's not the bad news. Random Hospital of Randomtown, Why The Fuck Am I In Australia, knows nothing about Mello. Matt realises what's happened while he's already white with shock and rage and disbelief - when he's thinking has someone told Mello, he'll pull a gun in the hospital and then we'll all be fucked and ignoring the nurse's comments about adaptive technology and physiotherapy - and his 'cousin' comes through the door.
"Brendan," says his cousin. His eyes are huge, almost frightened. Matt's never seen him before in his life.
That's when he realises that Mello is gone. This guy, with his dark hair and his suit and his complete inability to act - this is Near's man. That's when Matt starts crying. That's when he wants to scream at them both to get the fuck out and curl up into a tight little ball but he can't.
"Several of the vertebrae were shattered. Luckily, this mostly occured at the thoracic level - you should still be able to move your trunk, and your abdominal muscles."
He really can't.
QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS: None really. I'd just like to double-check that it's alright that Matt's shower/bathroom be specially adapted when he first arrives? To make things a little easier on him. And, er, to request 'wheelchair' as an item he gets to retain? :B
Age: 21.
Personal Journal: fidrich
AIM/MSN/Yahoo: bletherinskellum
-CHARACTER-
Fandom: Death Note
Name: Mail (Matt) Jeevas
Age: 19/20
Disturbed? Y
HISTORY: http://deathnote.wikia.com/wiki/Matt
Matt is dead, but he doesn't know it.
Some people say your life flashes before you eyes in the moments before you die. A future flashed before Matt's - one in which he could reasonably survive, and one he clung to desperately. As far as Disturbed!Matt is concerned, this future IS what happened to him, and it's had a profound effect on his personality.
Being highly intelligent, Matt realised that he wasn't going to escape from the shooting without consequence. He knew he was badly damaged, badly injured, and managed in that split second to make a fairly accurate assessment of those injuries; if he had somehow managed to survive, he guessed that he'd probably spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
For the rest of this app I'm going to write as though what Matt believes happened DID happen. That's what's important to his character, and I don't really have any interest in him 'discovering' that it's not true. For all intents and purposes it is true - the effects are exactly the same as if it had really happened.
After the shooting on the 26th of January, one of Near's people was instructed to recover Matt's body. As it turned out he was still clinging, barely to life; the boy was taken to an illegal, underground surgeon, who helped to stabalise him a little. As soon as it was possible he was smuggled to an Australian hospital, Australia being the closest country where Matt's ethnicity would not raise eyebrows.
As it happened, Matt survived. He underwent a good deal of surgery, and it was some time before he regained full consciousness. When he did, he was informed that he'd been paralyzed from the waist down. The greatest trauma had happened at the thoracic part of the spine, meaning that his hands, arms, head and breathing were unaffected, and that with further surgery and physiotherapy Matt would have good trunk and even abdominal muscle control.
While in hospital, Matt is kept a close eye on by his 'cousin', Gevanni. He's given the identity of Brendan McCleod, younger son of a wealthy family who'd gone off the rails and gotten himself into trouble in America before running off to Australia to try to evade retribution. The cover story works well enough, and explains the money given to the hospital staff not to ask too many questions.
Near pays for his care, though Matt never sees him and is never contacted directly by him. After nine months he's finally discharged (more to do with the waves of pro-Kira discontent dying down than anything else; physically speaking he was as ready for independent for independent living as he'd ever be after five.) The comfortable, adapted apartment in a Brisbane suburb he moves to is also paid for by Near. With Near paying his bills, he refuses to work, falls into a depression, and begins self-medicating to an unhealthy extent. He arrives in Disturbia about six months after being discharged from in-patient care.
PERSONALITY: There's a difference between deciding not to play the game, and playing the game and failing. Before he got shot, Matt was third in line to succeed L, the greatest detective in the world. While he genuinely had little interest in this, Matt was able to coast at third place - and quietly, secretly, a tiny part of him nursed a belief that maybe if he put the effort in, if he decided to care more, he could rise even further. It was an extremely comfortable position to be in, allowing Matt to feel confident - even slightly superior - without actually having to prove himself. He was able to feel a certain amount of control (he chose not to be part of the race), and kept him from feeling particularly inferior to his best friend, Mello. Although Matt was generally intelligent enough to understand that this was mostly a daydream, it did give him a certain cockiness: he made a number of mistakes while keeping tabs on the Kira task force simply by overestimating his concentration and his ability to multi-task.
All this came to pieces after the Kira case - the only case he ever voluntarily got involved with - ended so badly for him. With his best friend dead, his self-image shattered and his body broken, Matt lost a lot of his confidence. Although Matt liked to think of himself as non-competitive (and he had to be, to a certain degree, with a friend like Mello), he was brought up at Wammy's House, and at a very basic level his sense of worth is linked with his ability to achieve. To fail as spectacularly as he did has had a massive effect on him. It's important to note that since Matt never overtly tried to prove himself, this is his first experience with failure of any kind - unlike Mello, he's not developed any strategies to deal with it before now. By the time he ends up in Disturbia he is profoundly isolated and on his way towards developing a drink problem.
Disturbed!Matt's taken to using alcohol as a way of both self-medicating and relieving boredom. It also helps him, on the occasions when he does venture out of his apartment, to feel less self-conscious about his disability; he'll often become chatty and friendly, closer to how he was before the shooting. Of course, there are also occasions where he becomes maudlin, particularly if he's on his own. (A subject that will set him off while he's in company, weirdly enough, is driving: he used to spend a great deal of time on his car, and was an unreserved speed freak.) He's not developed any particular friendships in his time in Brisbane, since most of the ones he had in America he made while clubbing - standing outside and chatting to people while smoking, then tagging along to parties afterwards.
Before his time in hospital, Matt enjoyed looking striking. He'd wear stripes, bold colours, long leather gloves and high boots. He dyed his hair and tended to wear several layers at once. This has changed somewhat - partly because he's not used to the Australian climate yet, and partly because there's no real use in aggressive camouflage any more: as far as Matt can figure, he's going to be remembered as 'the guy in the wheelchair' anyway. He's more likely to be found in a t-shirt than a sweater, his hands are usually bare, and his hair's back to it's original light brown. He still wears the goggles.
In terms of mobility, Matt has good use of his upper body and most of his trunk. He's able to look after himself in every way, and by now is proficient in getting around, transferring himself on and off the wheelchair, navigating on the wheelchair, etc. He's completely paralysed from the waist down (the damage mostly occurring around the 8th to 10th vertebrae of the Thoracic part of the spine) but has good sitting balance. In order to keep the muscles from deteriorating completely, Matt attends regular physiotherapy (again, paid for by Near). As part of the hospital's programme of outpatient care, he also attends fortnightly 'therapy' sessions, which he finds less than useless since Brendan McCleod's problems are quite different from his own. He goes almost entirely to keep up the identity - but part of him just needs the excuse for human interaction. Lately he's gotten into the habit of turning up to the sessions at least mildly drunk. Additionally, Matt is impotent. At the age of twenty, this is understandably quite upsetting; Matt believes it's a real barrier to ever having a serious relationship.
Matt has mixed feelings about Near, and about his memories of Mello. Near is essentially keeping Matt, and occasionally sends messages to him via Matt's 'cousin Stephen' (Gevanni). Matt sometimes suspects that this is mostly inspired by guilt. Sometimes he thinks it's a weird feeling of fraternity. Other times he thinks Near is simply trying to keep him on his good side, in case he ever needs him. In any case, he's quite content to live on Near's money for as long as the younger boy offers it. His feelings about Mello are more complicated still - Mello's plan left Matt crippled, after all. He misses his friend acutely. He's also extremely angry with him. Intellectually Matt knows this is an entirely normal reaction to loss, but he'd rather drink than have to think about it.
On a day-to-day basis, Matt is friendly, but also guarded and polite. He really does crave more human contact, but often feels anxious about interacting with people, especially in retrospect.
-SAMPLES-
Both samples should be written for the character you're applying to play.
First Person:
[Private//unhackable]
You know something I never thought I'd hear myself say again? 'It's cold.' Guess I didn't really see myself traveling much. But Jesus it's cold here. I should pick myself up a warmer jacket.
Haven't been out yet - it's cold enough in the apartment, thanks. I can't really keep ordering shit in, not when I need to watch my own budget again. Should probably hit the store. There must be something close by, right? Some little mom and pop store, whatever. And something to play would be good. Listening to these guys go on and on just doesn't cut it against a decent FPS.
I'm going to wind up having to admit this place is legit. I don't want to. I'm done with all this stupid inexplicable supernatural shit. I'd rather have Stephen pop out of nowhere and tell me this is some fucking - virtual reality experiment of Near's. Sure, and pigs will fly.
Holy fuck I need a drink.
Third Person:
Matt knew he wasn't going to die.
He knew it when Mello explained the plan; he knew it as he skidded through the streets of Tokyo. He knew it as he raised his hands above his head, all calm reasonable voice and charming boyish smile.
He might have experienced a moment of doubt when the first bullet hit, an explosion of pain so fast he barely even felt it; almost visual, more like a blinding white flash through his body. Then another, and another, like some bizarre tropical storm behind his eyelids and now he feels it, sheer agony as he falls and thinks maybe this wasn't such a great idea after--
The doubt is only consumed because everything else is, too.
But Matt was right.
He opens his eyes and stares at the blurred mesh of grey and white. It's calming, a little surprising - because it's night, isn't it? Night time in Tokyo. Something happens next to him, and he hears, "Mr McCloud." It's coming from very far away. Matt ignores it, because clearly it isn't talking to him.
"- awake, Mr -"
He's Mr Jeevas, Mail Jeevas -
"- cousin barely left your side -"
- no, not Jeevas either. Thomas. That's the name he'd been using. But he can see the nurse now, and she is talking to him after all - talking about a cousin. And cousin means Mello, or one of Mello's men, and Matt feels a surge of triumph (we did it, we fucking did it) rise though him that's only hampered by the growing awareness that something is not right.
"I," he croaks. His voice feels rough and unused. "I can't feel -"
"I have some bad news," the nurse says.
*
Mello is dead.
That's not the bad news. Random Hospital of Randomtown, Why The Fuck Am I In Australia, knows nothing about Mello. Matt realises what's happened while he's already white with shock and rage and disbelief - when he's thinking has someone told Mello, he'll pull a gun in the hospital and then we'll all be fucked and ignoring the nurse's comments about adaptive technology and physiotherapy - and his 'cousin' comes through the door.
"Brendan," says his cousin. His eyes are huge, almost frightened. Matt's never seen him before in his life.
That's when he realises that Mello is gone. This guy, with his dark hair and his suit and his complete inability to act - this is Near's man. That's when Matt starts crying. That's when he wants to scream at them both to get the fuck out and curl up into a tight little ball but he can't.
"Several of the vertebrae were shattered. Luckily, this mostly occured at the thoracic level - you should still be able to move your trunk, and your abdominal muscles."
He really can't.
QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS: None really. I'd just like to double-check that it's alright that Matt's shower/bathroom be specially adapted when he first arrives? To make things a little easier on him. And, er, to request 'wheelchair' as an item he gets to retain? :B