Dos
[Over-all well-being| 
like a pig]
[LSS| Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie]
I am no expert on anything. Vatican does not recognize me as a saint. But let me share with you certain thoughts I came up with as I was thinking about my plain life. Hopefully, I can help out some who were thinking of the same stuff, amuse others who are looking for crap to read, or provide an avenue for grammar nitpicks who want to practice their awesome God-given S-V agreement knowledge.
You will never be her. I used to say that I will never be bothered by how people see me, more so that I will never change for someone even I am fatally in love with him/her/it (“her” was included to make the subject relatable). Now I understand that whenever you claim that, you must back it up with a certain level of maturity.
I am currently in a relationship where there is a lot of excess baggage. I have a lot of qualms with relationships, having suffered the MIA-ing tactics of boys who were not men enough to say it’s over. I am also well-versed with palusot techniques and philandering ways of guys, thanks to indirect learning from friends. My boyfriend, on the other hand, was in a 4-year relationship with a girl he was set to marry, but was not able to because he felt he was not yet ready (the girl left him for another, who in turn she married). He was also in a string of commitments (long-term at that) wherein the other would leave him for, well, another. Suffice to say, we are both traumatized.
It was really a blessing that despite all that we have been through (not to underestimate everyone else’s suffering, but you know what I mean) we gave this relationship a try. But I must admit that I had this nagging feeling before that I have to measure up to what he has become “accustomed” with. Somehow, I have to be like the ex. How else can I sustain a long relationship with this guy who I have come to care genuinely for? Obviously, the girl did something right. If I want to keep him as long as I can, I must emulate her. The thought horrified me. Why am I doing this? Is he worth it to lose myself for? Am I seriously considering changing for someone else?
I realized well enough that change is never a bad thing, but you have to decide which part goes and which part stays. There is always some wiggleroom for anything and change is acceptable as long as you can live with it. I will never be the ex. I might not be the best girlfriend he will have ever, ever, forever, ever, ever. Might not even get the best kiss award (eew, erase that). I will be eons, light years away from what he was used to, but hell, that does not mean he won’t be happy with me. With all my cracks and imperfections, I maybe suitable enough to fit his world.
When you sign up for a relationship, I also realized, you allow yourself to be pushed out of your comfort zone constantly. You commit not only to the person, but you also make a commitment to pay the price of being committed. This includes losing face when you eat your own words, crying when you don’t want to admit you’re hurt and sometimes letting go when you so want to continue to argue. I paid for this relationship to work and I know I will still pay my dues. Not that I am complaining.
Have a good Friday the 13th, y'all.
like a pig]
[LSS| Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie]
I am no expert on anything. Vatican does not recognize me as a saint. But let me share with you certain thoughts I came up with as I was thinking about my plain life. Hopefully, I can help out some who were thinking of the same stuff, amuse others who are looking for crap to read, or provide an avenue for grammar nitpicks who want to practice their awesome God-given S-V agreement knowledge.
You will never be her. I used to say that I will never be bothered by how people see me, more so that I will never change for someone even I am fatally in love with him/her/it (“her” was included to make the subject relatable). Now I understand that whenever you claim that, you must back it up with a certain level of maturity.
I am currently in a relationship where there is a lot of excess baggage. I have a lot of qualms with relationships, having suffered the MIA-ing tactics of boys who were not men enough to say it’s over. I am also well-versed with palusot techniques and philandering ways of guys, thanks to indirect learning from friends. My boyfriend, on the other hand, was in a 4-year relationship with a girl he was set to marry, but was not able to because he felt he was not yet ready (the girl left him for another, who in turn she married). He was also in a string of commitments (long-term at that) wherein the other would leave him for, well, another. Suffice to say, we are both traumatized.
It was really a blessing that despite all that we have been through (not to underestimate everyone else’s suffering, but you know what I mean) we gave this relationship a try. But I must admit that I had this nagging feeling before that I have to measure up to what he has become “accustomed” with. Somehow, I have to be like the ex. How else can I sustain a long relationship with this guy who I have come to care genuinely for? Obviously, the girl did something right. If I want to keep him as long as I can, I must emulate her. The thought horrified me. Why am I doing this? Is he worth it to lose myself for? Am I seriously considering changing for someone else?
I realized well enough that change is never a bad thing, but you have to decide which part goes and which part stays. There is always some wiggleroom for anything and change is acceptable as long as you can live with it. I will never be the ex. I might not be the best girlfriend he will have ever, ever, forever, ever, ever. Might not even get the best kiss award (eew, erase that). I will be eons, light years away from what he was used to, but hell, that does not mean he won’t be happy with me. With all my cracks and imperfections, I maybe suitable enough to fit his world.
When you sign up for a relationship, I also realized, you allow yourself to be pushed out of your comfort zone constantly. You commit not only to the person, but you also make a commitment to pay the price of being committed. This includes losing face when you eat your own words, crying when you don’t want to admit you’re hurt and sometimes letting go when you so want to continue to argue. I paid for this relationship to work and I know I will still pay my dues. Not that I am complaining.
Have a good Friday the 13th, y'all.