muse_playground prompt #79
79. "Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today" ~ Christina Aguilera
On Mother's Day this year, I didn't even think of my own mother once. Instead, I thought about my best friend, Lily, a lot. Seems odd, except if you know the history behind it and that history is that she was more a mother to me in almost nine months than my own mother was in nineteen years.
I still remember the first time we met - even then she taught me. Oh, it wasn't just about her encouragement in getting a charm right that I hadn't been able to master before that, it was that she taught me the first of many lessons about believing in myself. You think a stranger wouldn't be able to accomplish that in one afternoon by a lake, but she did by simply telling me that I was right for the house I had been sorted into and, even more, that I had potential. That made me realize perhaps maybe I was right for Hogwarts itself.
She was so insightful, though you would likely never hear her saying anything but the opposite. So many times she started some talk we were having with an excuse about not knowing much about it, then gave me the best advice I'd ever been given. Not just advice you'd get from a friend, but the kind of advice you would get from a parent who truly cared only for what was best for you. Somehow she made the combination of friend and mother effortless, as though she couldn't be anything else but exactly that person. I would have never wanted her to be anything else, that's for certain.
So many times she told me how proud she was of me, encouraging me in everything she taught me about Charms and magic and even life in general. She was my best friend, my confidante, my drunken owling buddy and the person who never once seemed disappointed in me, even when my problems overwhelmed me. But, despite that, there came a time when I walked away from her. It might not have even been all that long in reality but it felt like such a long time during that period that we weren't close like we once had been. I had other concerns in my life that made what I did make sense then, but, it retrospect, it was a stupid, stupid mistake. There are some things you can never completely make up and for me, that would be one of them, no matter how much Lily might have said otherwise.
We eventually worked through that rough spot, but it's never far from my mind, those decisions I made. I don't think there were enough chances to say I was sorry, not that she would have let me had I said something every time I did have the chance. She was far too forgiving but that's what made her that much more important to me.
If I had only known that day - the day before I woke up in my bed at home, in America - that it would be my last at Hogwarts, I would have gone and visited with her one last time. She would have smiled and hugged me and then conjured tea out of nowhere, because that's what Lily does for everything - joy, sorrow, anger, disappointment, fear, bafflement - she gives you tea. But it isn't just tea she gives and I didn't always appreciate that the way I should have. She might have only been a few years older than me in physical age, but she had lived more and known more in those years that were between us than most people lived and learned in half a lifetime. I had so much to learn from her that I never realized I did, until now.
There was so much left to do and say, I just... I just wish I had known then what I think about today, and everyday. I miss you, Lily, so very much.
Sarah Williams | Labyrinth | 663 words
muse_playground prompt #79
Comments here!
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today" ~ Christina Aguilera
On Mother's Day this year, I didn't even think of my own mother once. Instead, I thought about my best friend, Lily, a lot. Seems odd, except if you know the history behind it and that history is that she was more a mother to me in almost nine months than my own mother was in nineteen years.
I still remember the first time we met - even then she taught me. Oh, it wasn't just about her encouragement in getting a charm right that I hadn't been able to master before that, it was that she taught me the first of many lessons about believing in myself. You think a stranger wouldn't be able to accomplish that in one afternoon by a lake, but she did by simply telling me that I was right for the house I had been sorted into and, even more, that I had potential. That made me realize perhaps maybe I was right for Hogwarts itself.
She was so insightful, though you would likely never hear her saying anything but the opposite. So many times she started some talk we were having with an excuse about not knowing much about it, then gave me the best advice I'd ever been given. Not just advice you'd get from a friend, but the kind of advice you would get from a parent who truly cared only for what was best for you. Somehow she made the combination of friend and mother effortless, as though she couldn't be anything else but exactly that person. I would have never wanted her to be anything else, that's for certain.
So many times she told me how proud she was of me, encouraging me in everything she taught me about Charms and magic and even life in general. She was my best friend, my confidante, my drunken owling buddy and the person who never once seemed disappointed in me, even when my problems overwhelmed me. But, despite that, there came a time when I walked away from her. It might not have even been all that long in reality but it felt like such a long time during that period that we weren't close like we once had been. I had other concerns in my life that made what I did make sense then, but, it retrospect, it was a stupid, stupid mistake. There are some things you can never completely make up and for me, that would be one of them, no matter how much Lily might have said otherwise.
We eventually worked through that rough spot, but it's never far from my mind, those decisions I made. I don't think there were enough chances to say I was sorry, not that she would have let me had I said something every time I did have the chance. She was far too forgiving but that's what made her that much more important to me.
If I had only known that day - the day before I woke up in my bed at home, in America - that it would be my last at Hogwarts, I would have gone and visited with her one last time. She would have smiled and hugged me and then conjured tea out of nowhere, because that's what Lily does for everything - joy, sorrow, anger, disappointment, fear, bafflement - she gives you tea. But it isn't just tea she gives and I didn't always appreciate that the way I should have. She might have only been a few years older than me in physical age, but she had lived more and known more in those years that were between us than most people lived and learned in half a lifetime. I had so much to learn from her that I never realized I did, until now.
There was so much left to do and say, I just... I just wish I had known then what I think about today, and everyday. I miss you, Lily, so very much.
Sarah Williams | Labyrinth | 663 words
muse_playground prompt #79
Comments here!