random musings from my mind.
i am getting air, getting sun, absorbing sun rays. Not so much sun rays as a solid, enveloping layer oozing.
i am getting joy, getting more joy in my stomach. There are no reasons for my stomach to be joyous other than...the sun, oozing sun warmth.
_____________________________________-in bed last night___________________---
i was going to run, i had envisioned running through fields. But i got older and i settled for walking. each sunflower was taller than me but i didn't dwell on it i just kept on walking. I was aware of my contracted squinting face and thought how terrible wrinkles would be, but "think about the field".
The tall flowers would wither long before my squint-wrinkles would manifest, haunt me, and taunt me. So i thought about the field, the stature of the sun-pillars, the sun oozing its sweetly cancerous pleasure onto me. The guilt i felt for my labors quieted, but didn't evaporate. And now i sleep with the sun-pillars.
__________________________________on my lawn today_____________________-
Wind chimes remind me of that porch, the porch behind my old bedroom. The bedroom with the envisioned tunnel to Grants room, a hidaway. The bedroom with the stained-glass window and the towering roof and the closet full of planets and stolen quarters.
Wind chimes sounded now and i know that later, the sound of wind chimes will bring me back to now, to here, to this towel, the smell of grass, the sound of construction with a drone of birds. I wonder how i'll feel whin i remember this moment. Nostalgic, as i'll be far from here and unhappily alone, and i'll have forgotten that then, now, i am far from anywhere and unhappily alone. I'll have revised this page to wear an essence of a smile.
________________________________________-rightnow?________________________-
i swear you are looking at me, but then i always do. I swore you felt the same way, maybe just because your eyes are so intense. i try to show you how you adore me, i do it through creating enigma, but the fact of its deliberate creation nullifies it, making me look like an ass. But i am an ass. and i swear you love me for it. i want you to want to know me.
____________________________________i wish i could write something longer than a paragraph_________________
i read the best haiku today it was something like:
the torturous voice
of prepubescence
Britany Spears must die.
and a japanese one:
i don't see
the point of haiku
in English
i <3 haiku and salute it as the least convenient form of self expression.
my attempt as follows
search for cigarettes
in an abandoned work site
fucking underaged.
i am getting joy, getting more joy in my stomach. There are no reasons for my stomach to be joyous other than...the sun, oozing sun warmth.
_____________________________________-in bed last night___________________---
i was going to run, i had envisioned running through fields. But i got older and i settled for walking. each sunflower was taller than me but i didn't dwell on it i just kept on walking. I was aware of my contracted squinting face and thought how terrible wrinkles would be, but "think about the field".
The tall flowers would wither long before my squint-wrinkles would manifest, haunt me, and taunt me. So i thought about the field, the stature of the sun-pillars, the sun oozing its sweetly cancerous pleasure onto me. The guilt i felt for my labors quieted, but didn't evaporate. And now i sleep with the sun-pillars.
__________________________________on my lawn today_____________________-
Wind chimes remind me of that porch, the porch behind my old bedroom. The bedroom with the envisioned tunnel to Grants room, a hidaway. The bedroom with the stained-glass window and the towering roof and the closet full of planets and stolen quarters.
Wind chimes sounded now and i know that later, the sound of wind chimes will bring me back to now, to here, to this towel, the smell of grass, the sound of construction with a drone of birds. I wonder how i'll feel whin i remember this moment. Nostalgic, as i'll be far from here and unhappily alone, and i'll have forgotten that then, now, i am far from anywhere and unhappily alone. I'll have revised this page to wear an essence of a smile.
________________________________________-rightnow?________________________-
i swear you are looking at me, but then i always do. I swore you felt the same way, maybe just because your eyes are so intense. i try to show you how you adore me, i do it through creating enigma, but the fact of its deliberate creation nullifies it, making me look like an ass. But i am an ass. and i swear you love me for it. i want you to want to know me.
____________________________________i wish i could write something longer than a paragraph_________________
i read the best haiku today it was something like:
the torturous voice
of prepubescence
Britany Spears must die.
and a japanese one:
i don't see
the point of haiku
in English
i <3 haiku and salute it as the least convenient form of self expression.
my attempt as follows
search for cigarettes
in an abandoned work site
fucking underaged.