Hey Elissa.. just decided to check in & catch up on your posts.. First off, to answer "will I ever be able to deal with this stuff on my own?": Yes - but, the bigger question: Should you? I think not. This is why we have friends & family. Locking yourself in a room and holding back the need to vent only exasperates the situation.
Anyhow - I know, to some extent, what you're dealing with at the office - and in other ways moreso, having worked there for six or seven years (was it that long?). To expound upon your friends comment, something that irritated me above all else is how "the Boss" treats people - especially you.. and before that, Jackie and Danielle... That intermediary biznatch, well - she seemed to like it so I digress. He's always required a bit of servitude and unfortunately right now, you are his unlucky victim. He wouldn't dare be that way with his wife - she'd have his nuts on display in the town square. Bossman is a pushover, it just takes years of dealing with him to get the courage to fight back. It's hard to say "Fuck you, you're an asshole" to the person that signs your paycheck - but I can assure you, it feels great to say it and his reaction to me whenever I barked at him was to look down at his shoes.
He's lost in space and frankly, disillusioned by what the company set out to be versus what it's become. When business isn't going well in his mind, he finds ways to elevate his need to feel important.. in control.. living the big corporate lifestyle, without the big corporation. Screening calls is one such example. Have you noticed that when $$ isn't so tight, he's not ever-present? When I was in the office last, I could tell - he's panicking. Hang tight, Elissa.. your path will become evident in due time. The quality and efficiency of your work is like nothing the company has EVER had - trust me when I say that.
I've always felt that knowing how NOT to act is more important than knowing how to.. it's a much shorter list to adhere to. Just think - when you move on, you'll know exactly how to run an unsuccessful company - that's empowering and armed with that, you'll go far.
Anyhow - I know, to some extent, what you're dealing with at the office - and in other ways moreso, having worked there for six or seven years (was it that long?). To expound upon your friends comment, something that irritated me above all else is how "the Boss" treats people - especially you.. and before that, Jackie and Danielle... That intermediary biznatch, well - she seemed to like it so I digress. He's always required a bit of servitude and unfortunately right now, you are his unlucky victim. He wouldn't dare be that way with his wife - she'd have his nuts on display in the town square. Bossman is a pushover, it just takes years of dealing with him to get the courage to fight back. It's hard to say "Fuck you, you're an asshole" to the person that signs your paycheck - but I can assure you, it feels great to say it and his reaction to me whenever I barked at him was to look down at his shoes.
He's lost in space and frankly, disillusioned by what the company set out to be versus what it's become. When business isn't going well in his mind, he finds ways to elevate his need to feel important.. in control.. living the big corporate lifestyle, without the big corporation. Screening calls is one such example. Have you noticed that when $$ isn't so tight, he's not ever-present? When I was in the office last, I could tell - he's panicking. Hang tight, Elissa.. your path will become evident in due time. The quality and efficiency of your work is like nothing the company has EVER had - trust me when I say that.
I've always felt that knowing how NOT to act is more important than knowing how to.. it's a much shorter list to adhere to. Just think - when you move on, you'll know exactly how to run an unsuccessful company - that's empowering and armed with that, you'll go far.
-g
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