Night Stands [2/2]
Everything hurt the next morning.
Baekhyun could barely open his eyes before he was running to the toilet adjacent to the bedroom. Images of the night previous flashed through his mind as he realized one very specific area of his body was not in pain. which was odd considering he definitely spent the night at Chanyeol’s, and he would only go to Chanyeol’s for one reason, right?
As he splashed water on his face, traces of the evening prior came back in blurred fragments, accompanied by a sinking feeling of embarrassment deep in his stomach. Baekhyun groaned before rinsing his mouth, head still throbbing as he made his way to the living room. Chanyeol was lounging on the couch in boxers and a tank top, an untouched six pack still sitting on the coffee table.
“How’s the head?” Chanyeol asked casually, greeting Baekhyun with a smile and patting a spot on the couch next to him.
“Feels like it just got run over by the entire Kentucky Derby.” Chanyeol let out a short bark of laughter, causing Baekhyun to grimace, “... and the Belmont Stakes. Actually, make it the entire Triple Crown.”
“I’ve heard the ultimate cure for hangovers is a Tuna sandwich and a beer,” Chanyeol suggested lightly.
“Ugh,” Baekhyun groaned, leaning his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder dramatically. “I already vomited once. Please refrain from the mentioning of any food items, or grease… or anything nauseating.”
Chanyeol hummed in acknowledgement and turned his attention to the baseball game on TV. Baekhyun lifted his head from Chanyeol’s shoulder, surprised at himself for making himself so comfortable.
“Please tell me you at least have the sense to root for the Samsung Lions,” Baekhyun remarked after noticing the teams playing.
“No way. LG Twins all the way.” Chanyeol stated with pride.
“They haven’t won a championship since 1994, Chanyeol. Nineteen ninety four.” Baekhyun closed his eyes in frustration, plopping his head on back Chanyeol’s shoulder.
“Hey! They made it to the playoffs last year!” Chanyeol protested, before adding, “There’s hope yet.”
“Sure there is,” Baekhyun mumbled, burying his head further into Chanyeol’s shoulder as a means to fight the aggravating headache.
The game continued with the pair exchanging sharp remarks here and there about their favored teams. Baekhyun was thankful for the idle time -- and Chanyeol’s abnormally comfortable shoulder -- to fight off his hangover. More than that, he realized that he hadn’t sat down to watch a baseball game on a Saturday in months, despite it being one of his favorite past times.
When it became clear that the Twins would, unsurprisingly to Baekhyun, lose the game, Chanyeol turned his attention away from the TV and began to softly run his fingers up and down Baekhyun’s arm.
Chanyeol tilted his head towards Baekhyun’s, “You rinsed out your mouth, right?”
“Of course. What do you think I am? A barbarian? I care about my enamel, thank you.”
“Hey, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol spoke again, in a voice even deeper, if possible.
“Hmm?”
“You know, we never got to those ‘other things’ last night.” Chanyeol uttered lowly before leaning down further and, after nudging Baekhyun’s nose with his own, slanting his lips against the elders’.
Chanyeol fucked him hard and fast, bent over the couch with Baekhyun begging for more; headaches and baseball rivalries long forgotten and replaced with pure pleasure.
They passed out not long after, and when Baekhyun awoke in the late afternoon, Chanyeol looked too peaceful to be disturbed.
Baekhyun made his exit quickly and quietly, intentionally neglecting to leave a note.
----------
Calling Chanyeol on random evenings became routine. Baekhyun always called, Chanyeol was surprisingly always free. Sometimes they would meet at the ramen place around the corner from Chanyeol’s apartment, sometimes Chanyeol would show up with takeout cartons.
Their meet-ups followed a simple pattern: eat first, then screw.
Rarely did they deviate from the routine, aside from the occasional baseball game that they would agree to watch together. (Always last minute, of course, because Baekhyun didn’t want Chanyeol to get the idea that these meet-ups were dates. No, they were simply enjoying food, light conversation and each other’s bodies -- in that order.)
Sometimes Baekhyun skipped the formalities of eating, simply knocking on Chanyeol’s door and the second the door cracked open, attacking Chanyeol’s lips and shoving him in the direction of the bedroom.
However, Baekhyun soon discovered that even the most casual of routines have intimate consequences when he found not one but two pairs of Chanyeol’s boxers while folding his laundry. He then thought of the extra phone charger he had left plugged in at Chanyeol’s place for going on three weeks....
(He tried not to think about the fact that he could distinguish between Chanyeol’s course textbooks, or that Chanyeol seemed to know where every dish and pan was located in Baekhyun’s kitchen.)
----------
Baekhyun woke up first one Saturday morning and meandered into Chanyeol’s kitchen. He wasn’t surprised to hear meowing before he was joined by Snuggles jumping up on the counter.
“I suppose you want to be fed?” Baekhyun asked the cat -- great, Chanyeol was rubbing off on him. He swore he saw the cat nod before he set down his glass of water and began to open cupboards in search of cat food, with little luck. He swore he saw the cat food in the cabinet above the toaster last time, but it was nowhere to be found.
“The food is on top of the fridge,” a groggy voice startled Baekhyun from the doorway.
Baekhyun turned sheepishly to be greeted by Chanyeol, in his boxers as always, smiling wide at both the petite man and his pet cat.
“I probably should consider putting it somewhere where average sized people could see it, “ Chanyeol added, moving towards Baekhyun before reaching atop the fridge and grabbing a can of food with ease.
“No need to adjust your habits for me…” Baekhyun remarked offhandedly, “... and I know I’m short, it’s okay to say it.”
“Nah, you’re perfect,” Chanyeol responded just as casually, distracted with scooping food into snuggles bowl.
Baekhyun told himself Chanyeol was talking to Snuggles.
----------
“So you were with Chanyeol again last night?” Jongdae asked casually as he fiddled with the pens in a holder on Baekhyun’s desk.
“You already know the answer to that. Why are you asking?” Baekhyun inquired, looking up from his screen. He’d already gotten shit from Jongdae for wearing the same suit two days in a row -- a tell-tale sign he had spent the night somewhere outside his apartment.
“Just wondering. Are you sure you aren’t dating him, Baek?” Jongdae asked with caution.
Offended, Baekhyun huffed in exasperation. “Jongdae, we’ve been over this. It was just a one night stand.”
“Pretty sure ‘one night stand’ implies it’s a one time thing. You two have been going at it for weeks now.”
Waving his hand in dismissal, Baekhyun clarified, “‘One night stand,’ ‘casual sex,’ whatever. We both know we aren’t dating.”
“Does Chanyeol know that? Or are you just assuming he can read your mind?”
“He knows. I don’t know how much clearer I could be at this point. Plus, I have my eyes set on bigger conquests once this merger goes through.”
“Ah, yes. Mr Wu Yifan. Your dream man who has barely said more than ten words to you in the entire month and a half we’ve been working with his company.”
“Shut up, I’m taking it slow. Strategy is key.”
“So what then, Chanyeol is just your ‘in-the-meantime-fuckbuddy’?”
“Something like that.”
“That doesn’t sound very fair, Hyunnie.” Jongdae said with resigned judgement.
“Life isn’t fair, Jongdae. But, I’m not stringing the guy along, we’ve talked about it and he knows where we stand. Why are you so concerned?”
Jongdae raised his hands in surrender before exiting Baekhyun's office in silence.
----------
Weeks after initial negotiations, the contract had been finalized between Wu Associates and Baekhyun’s firm. Said firm decided to host another company function in celebration.
Baekhyun spent a good deal extra time fixing his hair and suit that evening. With business pretenses behind them, Baekhyun was looking forward to having a chance to ‘get to know’ the new client. Get to know, as in exchange numbers and hopefully secure a dinner date in the near future. If he’d read the signs correctly during their brief office encounters, Yifan was definitely interested. All he had to do was seal the deal.
After making the initial rounds of greetings, Baekhyun began his mission to find Yifan -- who honestly wasn’t too hard to miss since he towered over most of the guests in attendance. It only took a quick greeting before Yifan asked if he could buy Baekhyun a drink and the pair moved their conversation to the bar.
“So, are you satisfied with the new partnership?” Baekhyun began.
“Lets not talk about work,” Yifan said with a winning smile. “Legal jargon is so boring, and I think you’re too fascinating to waste my limited time with you talking about such things.”
Part of Baekhyun was flattered that Yifan thought him interesting, but part of him couldn’t help but be put off by the comment. After all, legal jargon and law were a huge part of who he was. He chose his career, even if he had slight inhibitions about the ethics behind it.
Trying to change the subject away from work, Baekhyun implored Yifan to share more about himself. Yifan was just about everything Baekhyun expected him to be: a young entrepreneur, hit it big in the market early on with his partner at the time, eventually bought out his shares of the company and mobilized for the international market. The man spoke four languages, had an apartment in LA, Beijing and Seoul. He was perfect on paper.
While Baekhyun played up his ‘that’s so fascinating’ expression -- and he made it a point to ask questions throughout to indicate his interest -- there was a part of him that felt that Yifan was reciting his resume, and it was giving Baekhyun very little to work with. Funny how he said Baekhyun was the interesting one, but he had yet to ask the petite male any questions.
Unwillingly, Baekhyun emitted a yawn just as Yifan got to talking on the dynamics of living between multiple world cities.
“I can see I’m boring you,” Yifan teased charmingly, stopping halfway through his story.
Embarrassed by his own mistake, Baekhyun blushed before waving his hands in denial. “No, no. I’m just a bit tired from the work week,” he smiled sweetly, knowing he wasn’t exactly lying -- he had had quite the busy week.
“How about this,” Yifan began, reaching in his pocket and producing a personal business card, “You get yourself rested, and I’ll take you out to dinner some time soon.” It wasn’t a question.
“I would… like that,” Baekhyun smiled genuinely, taking the card from Yifan’s hands and producing one of his own to exchange.
“It’s a tentative date then.”
Baekhyun wondered why he went to bed that night not feeling nearly as satisfied with himself as he thought he should.
----------
Feeling semi refreshed after the company party, Baekhyun woke bright and early on Saturday morning. While he reveled in the free time, by noon he was beginning to go a little stir crazy from lounging around in his pajamas alone. With little else on his agenda, he tried thinking of activities to occupy himself for the remainder of the day. Considering he hadn’t been shopping yet that week, he changed into his casual clothes and made his way to the grocery store down the street.
While his intentions were to restock his own fridge, Baekhyun found himself distracted by the bakery section and their wide variety of bagel flavors. His mind instantly flashed to Chanyeol’s sparsely filled refrigerator and the plain bagels resting atop it. Deciding it would be an act of good will, Baekhyun purchased a dozen mixed flavor bagels before continuing shopping.
The only issue was, the more he shopped, the more he was reminded of how little food Chanyeol kept in his apartment. He knew the man kept ramen and bagels, along with coffee, but that was about it. Almost without thinking Baekhyun continued to add food items to his cart with the tall guitarist in mind.
One hour and eighty dollars later, Baekhyun exited the grocery store with twice as many bags as he intended to walk away with -- only one of them being filled with groceries for himself. He promptly grabbed a taxi and rode the short distance to Chanyeol’s apartment, not feeling the need to call ahead since he knew Chanyeol generally spent Saturday afternoons at home studying.
His knock on the door was answered quickly and before Chanyeol could greet him, Baekhyun exclaimed “Surprise!” and held up the shopping bags.
“What do you have there?” Chanyeol teased as Baekhyun pushed past the man, stepping directly towards the kitchen.
“I was out shopping, and I saw some bagels and thought you might like to try some new flavors. Then I remembered how tragically empty your refrigerator was, so I grabbed a few basic food items to fill it,” Baekhyun was now unloading the few bags on the kitchen table, sorting between things that needed to be refrigerated and those that didn’t. “Honestly, it’s a wonder you’re still alive with the crap you eat daily,” Baekhyun meant it as a lighthearted comment, but Chanyeol instantly tensed at the words.
“Baekhyun, I’m not a child.” Chanyeol said with a new tone of seriousness.
Baekhyun made a incredulous face. “Obviously, Chanyeol. But, I mean… don’t you want a little bagel variety in your life? Sesame seed is a big step up from the plain bagels you ingest every morning.”
“I know how to keep groceries in my own apartment, Baek,” Baekhyun halted at the recurrence of the new nickname.
“Sure you do. Look Chanyeol, if I didn’t know better I would think you were some college student from how much ramen you consume weekly. “
“I am a college student….”
“You work four different jobs -“
“Three.”
“Three different jobs. You don’t keep any food around this place except ramen, coffee and bagels. My grandma used to tell me that the mark of a true adult was someone who could keep the fridge stocked,-- and had a spice cabinet -- although that’s slightly beside the point….” Baekhyun said with a playful, almost motherly tone.
Suddenly it didn’t feel like they were arguing about Chanyeol’s lack of a balanced diet anymore.
“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol’s mouth made a firm line as he collected his thoughts. “I don’t keep food in the house because I rarely eat at home, there’s no point in stocking up a fridge with things I’ll never use. Yes, I’m still in Graduate school, but that’s because I took some time after undergrad to figure out what I really wanted to do in the future, I didn’t want to rush into things. You seem to forget that I live on my own, I pay my own bills, I get by just fine on my own. Forgive me for not being a developed career man by now, but I’m happy. I enjoy my jobs, I enjoy my school, the same way you enjoy your career. You can’t fault me for taking a different route to get where I want to be just because it doesn’t match your prescribed order of ‘adult development.’ Maybe if you pulled that giant stick out of your ass you’d realize that.”
Sighing heavily, Chanyeol ran his hand through his hair one last time and exited the kitchen without sparing Baekhyun a glance, leaving him alone in the kitchen holding a bag of arugula now rendered useless through Chanyeol’s rant.
After collecting his thoughts, Baekhyun found Chanyeol sitting on his worn couch, mindlessly flipping through channels. If Chanyeol sensed Baekhyun’s presence, he gave no indication.
“Chanyeol… I uh,” Baekhyun began, not knowing why he suddenly felt so guilty, “I’m…. sorry. I was out of line. I just was bored at the grocery store and thought I could buy some things for you since I’ve spent a lot of time here recently. It’s not my place to pass judgement on your life, especially if we aren’t even together,” Baekhyun scoffed as Chanyeol finally turned his attention away from the TV. “Jongdae always tells me I have my head up my own ass” he said to himself more than anyone, “I guess sometimes… I just….”
“It’s okay.” Chanyeol interrupted, “I know you didn’t mean any harm. I was frustrated too. Plus, fresh vegetables intimidate me.”
Baekhyun smiled, heaving sigh of relief. He didn’t know why the idea of arguing with Chanyeol unnerved him so much. He argued with people all day, it was sort of his job, and Chanyeol was nothing more than a guy who he sometimes -- regularly -- slept with…. right?
Baekhyun wasn’t ready to answer that.
Ignoring his conflicted mind, Baekhyun moved to fill the space next to Chanyeol on the couch.
“So we’re good?” He asked hesitantly.
“We’re good,” Chanyeol threw his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders and smiled so wide Baekhyun’s heart swelled with a strange affection. It scared him even more.
Ignoring the fact that he had just sat down, Baekhyun rose suddenly.
“Right, well. Good. I’m going to head out. Early morning tomorrow and everything,” He sounded much more flustered than he intended and turned towards the door quickly as if that would fight the blush that was creeping up his cheeks.
“Okay? Uh, see you later then?”
“Right, right. Goodnight Chanyeol.”
“It’s three in the afternoon.”
“Oh. Good afternoon? Um, Bye.”
---------------
Almost a week had passed since the grocery incident, and Baekhyun had made it a point to distance himself from Chanyeol a little bit. Their mini-argument had left a bitter feeling in the pit of his stomach and he figured he needed some time away from the man in order to let it dissipate.
Jongdae had commented on his dark change of attitude, but Baekhyun simply credited it to not hearing from Yifan about their tentative date yet.
He was surprised when his phone went off during his drive home from work and “Chanyeol” flashed across the screen, along with a text message asking Baekhyun if he wanted to come over. Baekhyun had no reason to decline, and after changing his clothes at home, made his way over to Chanyeol’s.
Almost as soon as he knocked on the door, it was flung open. Chanyeol skipped all the pleasantries and instead instantly took hold of Baekhyun’s face with both of his hands before kissing him with a force different from any of their previous encounters. Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun into the apartment, shoving the door shut with his foot before he began pushing them towards the bedroom.
As Baekhyun’s knees hit the edge of the bed, Chanyeol laid him down gently, encasing Baekhyun between his knees to hover above him. Finally separating his lips from Baekhyun’s, Chanyeol moved his focus to Baekhyun’s neck, hand slinking under his shirt and rubbing up the cool skin of his abdomen.
“I missed this,” Chanyeol said in a whisper between kisses, “I missed… you.”
If Baekhyun wasn’t already breathless, he would have had the air knocked out of him. A whirlwind of emotions began to float through his mind, none producing a coherent response. Instead, he pulled Chanyeol’s head up by his hair and reconnected their lips -- partially to stop Chanyeol for spewing any more emotional confessions, and partially to stop himself from admitting that he too missed this. Whatever it was.
A heavy air descended upon the two as Chanyeol took his sweet time undressing Baekhyun, placing kisses anywhere his lips could reach. Baekhyun wasn’t faring too well, anxiously reaching for the fly of Chanyeol’s zipper before his hands were swatted away.
Chanyeol continued to tease, taking things so slowly Baekhyun thought he would explode. Once Chanyeol was finally inside of him, all of Baekhyun’s usual demands died on his lips and instead he surrendered himself to Chanyeol completely. He only managed to pull Chanyeol down to join their lips through his climax, almost sobbing into Chanyeol’s mouth with bliss.
The heavy atmosphere didn’t dissipate in the afterglow, instead, Chanyeol rolled Baekhyun into his arms, fingers carding through his hair before Baekhyun drifted off into dreamland.
The next morning, Baekhyun was surprised to wake with his head against a warm chest and his legs tightly intertwined between the taller’s.
Noticing Baekhyun stirring, Chanyeol mumbled, “I found a solution to your kicking problem,” before chuckling and tightening his hold on Baekhyun’s legs.
Baekhyun lifted his head slightly to look at Chanyeol, but as he did so he felt the tell-tale sign of his drool on Chanyeol’s chest.
“I have yet to find a solution for that problem,” Chanyeol chuckled as Baekhyun scrunched his nose in distaste. “But I don’t mind, I’ve had worse fluids of yours on me.”
Baekhyun didn’t know if he should be touched or grossed out. (Neither stopped his heart from beating erratically until he forcefully untangled himself, locking himself in the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face.)
---------------
After the [what Baekhyun refused to call] make-up sex, things seemed to return to normal.
Yifan finally called, asking Baekhyun out for a proper dinner date that coming Friday. Baekhyun smiled into the receiver as he agreed, earning a suggestive eyebrow wiggle from Jongdae.
---------------
In the meantime, Baekhyun very much regretted calling up Chanyeol on a Monday night, because that meant he either had to wake up at 6am to run back to his apartment and change, or -- more likely, given his hatred of waking before noon -- he would have to wear the previous days suit to work again.
Despite his best efforts to not wake the sleeping giant, Chanyeol stirred almost as soon as Baekhyun padded off to the bathroom. After he emerged from the shower and dressed himself, he sauntered towards the kitchen, adjusting his tie and praying that the wrinkles in his recycled his shirt wouldn’t be noticed throughout the day.
Seeing Chanyeol’s bare back hunched over Snuggles counter territory had become an expected sight for Baekhyun on mornings such as this one. Chanyeol was casually petting the fat cat, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, two mugs already set out on the counter.
“You know I never manage to wake up early enough to drink coffee before I head out on a weekday,” Baekhyun stated plainly, walking towards Chanyeol and Snuggles while throwing on his suit jacket.
“Yet, we always hope,” Chanyeol sighed with mock disappointment.
Baekhyun raised his eyebrows before reaching to grab a raw bagel from behind Chanyeol. As he moved to back away from the counter, Chanyeol gently grabbed his arm.
“Hey, my band is playing at SM again this Friday. You’re always welcome to come.”
It wasn’t the first time Chanyeol had invited him to stop by a show, but it was the first time Baekhyun had a legitimate excuse for opting out.
“I can’t this Friday, I have a date with Yifan.” Almost as soon as words left his mouth, Baekhyun grimaced, knowing he had probably said too much (but not understanding why it bothered him that he did).
“Oh.” The hand on his arm fell, and Chanyeol turned his attention back to Snuggles. “Well, have fun then.”
Baekhyun quietly took his leave, pretending to ignore the awkward atmosphere that had overtaken the apartment as soon as Yifan’s name had escaped his lips. It wasn’t Chanyeol’s place to care, nor was it his place to worry about Chanyeol’s feelings.
If that was the case, then why did it hurt when Chanyeol didn’t answer his phone call for the first time two days later?
----------
Yifan picked Baekhyun up from his apartment at 6pm on the dot that Friday. Yifan actually rang the bell, which startled Baekhyun since Chanyeol always insisted on knocking (saying the bell was too shrill for his ears). He didn’t realize how long it had been since he’d had company that wasn’t Chanyeol.
Dinner was a relatively quiet affair, unless Baekhyun counted Yifan rambling about his own life. Baekhyun attempted to work baseball into the conversation as a means of making it an actual conversation, but the mention of sports only lead Yifan to discussing his high school basketball career. Baekhyun’s shoulders slumped in resignation as he listened to Yifan continue to boast his amazing point guard skills.
Baekhyun wasn’t bored necessarily, it was nice to get to know the man behind the handsome face, but he still made quick work of his wine in order to force out the thoughts that if he were with Chanyeol, (who would never take him to such a fancy restaurant), he might actually be conversing and not simply listening to the other male talk.
When the dinner drew toward a close, Yifan ushered Baekhyun out of the restaurant and towards his car. At the last minute, Baekhyun spoke up.
“Actually, I think I’ll just take the subway home. My apartment is out of the way for you anyway.” Despite Yifan’s polite instances, Baekhyun managed to steer himself away from Yifan’s car. Yifan bid him goodnight, and when he went in for a kiss, Baekhyun turned his head, surprising even himself as Yifan placed a confused peck on his cheek instead of his lips.
Once Yifan had driven away, Baekhyun moved towards the subway station and immediately boarded a train -- although not towards his apartment.
SM was just as Baekhyun had remembered it from months ago. The dingy walls with paint chipping off here and there, the makeshift stage, the well stocked bar and the motley crue of customers loitering both inside and outside the venue. He didn’t have to search long before he spotted Chanyeol, surrounded by his band mates. It was clear the had already played their set and were simply lingering around the venue with a few other bands.
Chanyeol spotted Baekhyun quickly enough once the petite male began making his way towards the band. Baekhyun watched him excuse himself before he met Baekhyun halfway.
“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol’s tone sounding remarkably flat in comparison to his usual expressive nature.
“I hadn’t heard from you in a few days,” Baekhyun said casually, shrugging his shoulders. “How was the show?” Baekhyun changed the subject.
“It was decent. Usual crowd, nothing too impressive. You didn’t miss much,” Chanyeol said, sparing a skeptical glance towards Baekhyun. Sensing the awkward feeling between them, Baekhyun reached and took Chanyeol’s hand in his own, casually running his fingers along the back of Chanyeol’s palm.
“If you’re all done here, do you want to head out?” Baekhyun asked innocently, looking up through his eyelashes and meeting Chanyeol’s seemingly indifferent stare.
Chanyeol removed his hand from Baekhyun’s, running his fingers through his slightly sweat-slicked hair.
“Didn’t you have a date tonight, Baekhyun?” He asked, tone indifferent.
Baekhyun stumbled, “Well, yes. But that ended a bit ago and I thought I would stop by your show, since you invited me and all. I’m sorry I didn’t make it before your set finished.” Deep down, Baekhyun knew he had no right to get defensive with Chanyeol, but he couldn’t stop himself.
“‘A bit ago,’” Chanyeol echoed exasperatedly, pausing for a moment to gather his thoughts. “Why are you really here Baekhyun?” He asked flatly, face showing no emotion beyond his guarded eyes.
“I told you, I - I wanted to see you?” The uncertainty in Baekhyun’s reply was enough to set Chanyeol off.
“You wanted to see me? Or you wanted me to fuck you? Or both? And then pretend it doesn’t mean anything, right? Because it doesn’t mean anything to you? You’re out there wine-ing and dining while I’m just the embarrassing stain on your bedsheets in the meantime, right?” While Chanyeol never raised his voice, Baekhyun could tell he was doing his best to control his tone.
Baekhyun was at a loss for words, his mouth opening and closing without any coherent sound breaking through to defend himself. As much as he wanted to deny the accusations to Chanyeol’s face, hadn’t he already confirmed all those sentiments with Jongdae weeks before? What had changed since then? Instead of speaking, he gave up, looking down at his shoes. He regretted ever coming to SM in the first place.
“Whatever I am to you, I can’t be that anymore,” Chanyeol said, hoisting his bag over his shoulder and turning towards the back exit. “Find someone else to call every night of the week, because I won’t answer anymore. I can’t answer anymore.” Baekhyun could hear Chanyeol turn on his heels, but refused to look up until he knew the guitarist was a safe distance away.
It certainly wasn’t the single glass of wine that was causing Baekhyun’s head to spin and stomach to churn. No, that was definitely guilt and anxiety that started to eat at him the minute Chanyeol’s back disappeared from view.
----------
Yifan had chosen an up and coming restaurant where Baekhyun had heard it was nearly impossible to get a reservation. Per usual, Yifan was a complete gentleman, pulling Baekhyun’s chair out for him (although he was more than okay with doing it himself) and even taking the liberty of recommending dishes to Baekhyun.
After the initial pleasantries the couple exchanged light small talk as they picked at their food. Baekhyun was trying to make his dish last as he had a mental word with whoever decided that smaller portions were an essential element of ‘fine dining.’
It wasn’t long before the conversation ran out, and Baekhyun was grasping at straws trying to find a suitable subject of conversation but coming up blank.
There he was, cutting his [tiny] filet mignon, when a thought suddenly hit him.
“You know, I like talking about work.” Baekhyun set his fork and knife down and looking to Yifan who raised an eyebrow at the sudden topic.
“Okay….?”
“I mean, I actually enjoy it. I like discussing cases, within reason, and laughing about CEO’s tupes and teasing their second wives horrible Botox jobs, and complaining about Jongdae and Joonmyeon’s office love affair, and letting out my frustrations at the end of the day.”
Sensing that Yifan had no response, Baekhyun continued. He was on a roll anyway.
“And I actually like ramen, even though I pretend not to. I keep a secret stash in the back of my cupboard for when I’m working late on a case. It actually fills me, unlike,” he made a vague gesture at his plate, “whatever this is.
“I like fat cats who have to eat every time you walk in the kitchen. Do you have a cat, Yifan?”
“Uh, no.”
“Right. Well, I like them. Specifically I like Snuggles and how he thinks he owns the apartment…. I like arguing loudly about baseball and then making out instead of reaching a consensus. And…. Oh my God.” Baekhyun realized exactly where his little rant was headed.
“I’ve been cheating on you!” He said with more excitement than guilt.
Yifan’s eyes widened, looking at Baekhyun as if he had grown three heads and was doing the Macarena on top of the table.
“Actually, no. I’ve been cheating on Chanyeol with you!” Baekhyun was now laughing hysterically, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “Because I’m so stupid and thought that I had to have a stick up my ass and date guys like you - no offense - just because I am successful! And sure, you’re tall with a deep voice, but your eye doesn’t twitch when you laugh, ruining your almost perfect face. You don’t laugh with me or call me out on my bullshit. You don’t play guitar and forget to cut your hair and keep powdered creamer for your coffee because the milk always expires before you use it all. I imagine you’re very good with expiration dates…”
Baekhyun took a deep breath.
“And at the end of the day, I’m just a huge idiot because I let him get away.”
“Uh… who? The cat?” Yifan was overwhelmed. How did they get from discussing medium rare vs medium to this?
“Chanyeol! I chased him off! I kept telling myself it was just sex but for Christ’s sake I know what cat food Snuggles eats five times a day!”
Although it seemed like a non-sequitur to Yifan, to Baekhyun it all made perfect sense.
“I dated you… thinking I could prove something about myself. Or rather, disprove what I knew I was feeling….” Baekhyun recovered from his hysteria, and offered Yifan a sincere smile. “I’m sorry. It’s really not you, I’m the idiot.”
And with that he stood up in his seat, politely placing his folded napkin on the table.
“I need to go. Thank you for dinner. I’m… uh, sorry about the outburst.”
Yifan, still in shock, could only offer a small wave as Baekhyun turned on his heels and swiftly exited the restaurant.
However, as soon as Baekhyun was greeted with the chill of the fall air, his determination dissipated. He had no idea where he was going now. Chanyeol wanted nothing to do with him and he had pretty much just severed any hope of a relationship with Yifan. He grabbed a cab back to his apartment, where instead of sleeping, he replayed the past few months of his life.
He realized, deep down, that he knew all along. Sure the first couple of times he had been with Chanyeol, it had genuinely just been about the sex. But somewhere along the way, everything changed. Chanyeol’s smiles didn’t just make him rage with lust, they made his stomach do little flip flops. He stopped seeking Chanyeol out to satisfy his libido and instead turned to him as the person who would run his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair as he talked for 45 minutes straight about office politics and his latest client.
Chanyeol was…. everything Baekhyun wanted and he was so determined to set boundaries, to write Chanyeol off, that he had missed his chance.
----------
“You’re an idiot,” Jongdae sighed, sitting across from Baekhyun during their lunch break.
“Thanks, Captain Obvious. I kind of figured that out mid-soliloquy in a five-star restaurant.”
“I think you mean monologue -- ”
“Let’s not,” Baekhyun put a hand up, effectively shutting Jongdae up. “The real question is: how do I fix it. How can I fix it? I think I made my point pretty clear to Chanyeol and now he wants nothing to do with me,” Baekhyun pouted.
“Well, that’s not entirely true,” Jongdae offered, curving his lips in a small smile.
“What do you mean?”
“Well -- based on what you’ve told me -- Chanyeol was done with the ‘casual’ thing you were so adamant about maintaining. He never said anything about not wanting to be with you.”
Baekhyun raised his brows in consideration before Jongdae continued, “In fact, it would seem the whole reason he told you to fuck off was because you were being a selfish asshole -- as expected -- and ignoring his potential feelings. You were running the entire show, and I’m sure the poor guy got sick of you pushing him away only to call him up four days later to critique his choice of groceries and demand a proper fuck.”
“I’m not denying that, but--”
“Furthermore,” Jongdae interjected raising his index finger in the air, “relationships are all about communication, and all you ever told the poor guy was that you definitely ‘weren’t even together.’ Multiple times, if I remember correctly. Honestly, it’s a wonder he put up with you as long as he did. He must have really liked you.” Jongdae leaned back in his chair, smugly satisfied with his own analysis.
Baekhyun knew Jongdae was being an ass, but he also knew Jongdae was making a very legitimate point.
Jongdae drew a heavy breath, ready to continue his mini-lecture before Baekhyun cut in, “You’ve made your point Dr. Kim, but what do I do to fix it?”
“See that’s the easy part, you apologize and tell him how you really feel. I’m sure even someone with the emotional depth of a shot glass like yourself would know that.”
“Right. The easy part.”
Baekhyun was so screwed.
----------
After a week of sulking, Baekhyun finally put his pride on the line and sought out Joonmyeon to ask when Jongin’s band’s next gig would be.
“Ah, Jongdae told me it would only be a matter of time before you came to ask me that,” Joonmyeon hummed casually.
“That little fucker.”
----------
Stumbling into SM, still in his work suit, Baekhyun wasted no time in winding his way behind the stage. He was disappointed to see no signs of the lanky guitarist. He did, however, spot Jongin a few minutes after wondering around the venue. The tan male was pre-occupied with wrapping up amp chords when Baekhyun tapped him on the shoulder, catching his attention.
After a brief moment of confusion, Jongin’s eyes flashed with recognition.
“You’re Chanyeol’s Ex right? The one who is friends with Joonmyeon?”
“His ‘ex’?”
“Sorry, I don’t know what else to call you. I assumed since you two were together all the time and he had an extra toothbrush in his bathroom that it was you he was seeing. Maybe I’m confused?”
“No! No, that was definitely my toothbrush,” Baekhyun didn’t really have time to think about why he was so adamant about claiming that toothbrush (and the bathroom, and the man who lived there…) before he asked Jongin, “Where is Chanyeol?”
“Probably out back with the van,” Jongin offered, perplexed by Baekhyun’s eagerness.
“Thanks!” Was all he heard before Baekhyun took off in the opposite direction.
It would take an idiot to miss Park Chanyeol, in all his six foot glory, cursing at the amp he had just accidentally dropped on his toe before Baekhyun emerged in the back parking lot.
“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun hollered, trying to get the younger’s attention.
Chanyeol looked up from the indignant amplifier, brows knitting in confusion before he could make out Baekhyun’s approaching figure. He didn’t say a word as Baekhyun got closer, instead he shifted his expression towards the ground in apathy.
“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun repeated breathily when he stopped directly in front of the guitarist. There were a million things he wanted to say, about his own selfishness, Chanyeol’s kindness; how he was an idiot; how he missed Snuggles; that Chanyeol was still an idiot for rooting for a losing baseball team; but that he liked him anyway; that Chanyeol didn’t need a five year plan; that he knew the contents of Chanyeol’s refrigerator and never meant to insult his choice of bagels…. But he knew all those words weren’t necessary to get his point across. There were only a few words that needed to be spoken in that moment, and none of them had anything to do with bagels or baseball.
“I’m sorry,” he blurted after a minute of silence, wishing desperately for Chanyeol to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I like you. I might even -- but that’s not the point! Well it is, but, the biggest point is that I’m sorry.” So much for not rambling.
Chanyeol remained silent. Presumably processing both Baekhyun’s words and the throbbing pain in his toe.
“Just, please. Look at me,” Baekhyun was generally above begging, but for Chanyeol he was willing to make all the exceptions.
After a moment’s hesitation, Chanyeol moved his gaze from the pavement to Baekhyun’s pleading eyes. Baekhyun could see Chanyeol mulling over his words, considering their implications.
“I’m sorry Chanyeol, I pushed you away. But the fact of the matter is I like being with you, I want to be with you. I--”
“Snuggles misses you,” Chanyeol cut in suddenly.
“What?”
“I think you fed him even more than I did. You really have to be careful in the future, you know, feline obesity is an epidemic.”
“The... future?”
“You said you wanted to be with me, right?” Chanyeol began to smirk, “Well,” He moved, tracing a finger along Baekhyun’s jaw affectionately, “As far as I’m concerned, I’ve been ‘with’ you for a while now. I was just waiting for you to come around and stop being an idiot. I don’t need a dramatic apology, or proclamation of love from you. Just hearing that you want this too is more than enough for me.”
Baekhyun was rendered speechless. Here, he was expecting some dramatic final showdown. Maybe a few tears, before the hopeful kiss and make-up scene all the dramas he watched told him was mandatory after confessions. Instead, there was Park Chanyeol, looking at him the way he always did; smiling at Baekhyun like the sun shined out his ass, like he always did… and that was more than enough.
“So, we’re good?” Baekhyun asked hesitantly.
“Yes, Baekhyun, we’re always ‘good.’” Chanyeol said before leaning down and sealing the deal with his lips, throbbing toe long forgotten.
… That was until Baekhyun got a little too excited and grabbed Chanyeol by the collar of his shirt, stumbling forward and stomping his foot directly on said injured toe.
Epilogue>>
A/N
And that’s all she wrote. I started this back in August and then life happened. But I was anxious to finish it and get it out of my drafts folder. It’s super rushed towards the end, and I’m sorry. I’m not entirely (read: not at all) happy with it, but I needed to complete it so that I could move on.Apparently I am only able to finish a fic like once a year.
(alternatively titled: that time Baekhyun tried to have sex with chanyeol's knee and everyone was obsessed with what was up his ass)
update: i fixed the typos (rejoice!)
Thank you for reading. I have a short little one shot draft I’m working on right now that actually has a plot! (hence rushing this fic so I could work on that one). (it involves baekhyun getting arrested and 4am pancakes).
As always, please comment, it makes me smile and feel significantly less embarrassed for posting this.
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Thank you for reading~