Done.

[noog]

My schedule was free tonight, and I didn't feel like hanging around home, so I spent my evening eating dinner, visiting, and generally being the dutiful family member with my grandmother and her friend Stan. For the most part, it was good-- I always enjoy when people make me dinner, and I'm just starting to learn to sew, so my grandma let me fuck

Comments

[rinkhals]

I can sympathize with you about your family not understanding or agreeing with your world view. Both my parents have fairly recently demonstrated a certain amount of homophobia and stereotyping that a year or so ago I never would have expected from them, and both my father and grandmother have made it known that they simply don't believe in bisexuality. None of them know that I am bisexual and frankly I'm not sure if telling them would make it worse or better. The one time it almost slipped out my mother was so distraught that I felt the need to reassure her by lying about it, for her own safety.

I know you can't change your family's views to suit yours, but I hope you find yourself on more comfortable ground with them soon. Best wishes.

[noog]

Wow. It seems to me that in some instances, coming out as bisexual to one's family can be even harder than coming out as gay or lesbian. I identified as bisexual (don't anymore) when I came out to my parents, and I remember having a hell of a time finding resources for myself because all the coming out material seemed to assume that only gay people come out, or at least that bi people have no unique coming out concerns. It's hard enough to come out if you think your family will think your lifestyle is sick and wrong; it's another to think that your family won't accept you simply because they think you don't exist. Also, how does a bi person explain to their family that s/he feels a need to embrace a lifestyle that embraces bisexuality, when the family members might think it would be easier and better to just ignore one's same-sex attractions and only pursue members of the opposite sex? That's a big huge conundrum, I think.

Anyway. Best wishes to you too. (^_^)

[jinxremoving]

you just described pretty much everything i had to deal with when i came out to my family. but besides that, your post actually matched my own frustrations with family - the "bigger picture" stuff - and my parents' response to my coming out. y'know, we should talk about this more, like when i'm not stoned.

[noog]

Yeah... I keep meaning to respond to your letter, but I've been a terrible pen pal in the last few months. I will get on that, and in the meantime, I'll seek you out on IM. We should talk about this more. :)

[jinxremoving]

i'm afraid i almost never go on AIM these days. i use msn once in a blue moon when i'm at work - solarpoweredflyingcar@hotmail.

i'm an appalling penpal, so we're even.

[karazorel]

Precicely my girlfriends experience when she came out: her parents wondering why she just doesn't ignore attraction to women.

[noog]

Yargh. And the stupid thing is, if you respond to that question with "I don't want to," people won't take you seriously. It's still not acceptable for queer people to say that they get involved with people of their own gender because they like it: even a lot of self-proclaimed straight allies get sick at the idea that queers might pursue people of their own gender for any other reason than that they absolutely have to and physically cannot be any other way. Everybody really wants to be straight, you know. *rolls eyes*

[karazorel]

It may say more about their own upbringing.

Why is it so terrible to fall in love with someone that you should resist it anyway?
If the person is bad, well, logically thats an argument, but beyond that.

I guess it is because people are afraid to love, and someone who not only loves unconditionally, but even loves the "wrong" side, are doubly eery.

I don't know. I'm not bisexual. Just my theories. :)

[noog]

Absolutely. I understand what you're saying, and agree. (^_^)

It never ceases to amaze me how scared people can be of the prospect of someone loving the "wrong" person, how it's much more scary to some people than, say, one person inflicting violence on another. That just strikes me as backward and wrong.