Done.

[noog]

My schedule was free tonight, and I didn't feel like hanging around home, so I spent my evening eating dinner, visiting, and generally being the dutiful family member with my grandmother and her friend Stan. For the most part, it was good-- I always enjoy when people make me dinner, and I'm just starting to learn to sew, so my grandma let me fuck

Comments

You'll know

[dolphingirl99]

Maybe the Toyko experience made you realize that the US is home not so much Portland. It could have been just that you missed people so much in Portland, and people seem to make us feel at home rather than a location so much. You struggle with being a professor and not being able to choose a location is the same struggle I had. What I came to was that no matter where I end up, I can always come home for a significant amount of time on vacations (just think of all the vacations professors have!) You will never be too long away from home, and maybe your conception of home will even change over time. Now, I'm not even sure if I see where my parents live as home anymore. Most of my friends don't live in the area or will be moving. Yes, part of me will always classify that as home or one of my homes because that is where my parents are.

As for grad school, you may want to apply to a couple of places just to keep the door opened. After all, the economy is really bad and now is probably the best time to go if you decide that is what you want to do. If you find a job, then you can post pone going or not go at all depending on where life takes you.

Good luck making a decision. You probably won't know until you are actually doing what you want to do though. I didn't know grad school was the right choice for me until I was here. Even though at times I get VERY frustrated with my location, I still know I made the right decision.

[noog]

I think the US is home to me, but also Portland. Granted, a lot of it is people, who unfortunately do things like move to other cities, but a lot of it is just the city itself. The culture, the places, the size-- all of it. I feel the same sense of... disjuncture, I suppose... when I spend long periods of time in parts of the US which are not Portland. I always want so badly to go back.

In all likelihood, I will apply to grad school this year, and then make a decision about whether to go the next year or defer for a year. I'd prefer to defer, but given that the economy is currently in the shitter, I may not have much of a choice in the matter.

I'm still making decisions about what I want to do with my life, as well. I may want to become a professor, sure. Or I may want to be a writer/editor for a feminist or queer-oriented publication. Or I may want to be some sort of social worker. Or, as I was discussing with Melanie last night, I might want to work at a college or university at a women's or LGBT center, as opposed to working as a professor. At this point, I'm not sure where I want to go, and it's kind of stressful, given that time is running out.

We shall see, I suppose.