In which I have a glorious last day of freedom.
I'm going back to school tomorrow. This does not scare me. Not in the least. What scares me is the fact that it means the school year is half-over and I will have to leave the only place I really love in a few short months. It's times like these when I almost wish I could currently go to a "normal" high school, because then I wouldn't fear waiting it. I would celebrate on the last day of school because I'd finally be out of there and free to start life in perhaps a happier, more tolerant place. But I'm having trouble imagining anywhere I could be educated that would be better than OCHSA. Well, maybe I'll get lucky. But I won't cry. No. I definitely won't cry. Not even right now. Not even as I think about it and how I'll never be able to take OCHSA or all its people into the "real world" with me and how I perhaps will never be as widely accepted for who I am again and how -
No. Not going to talk about that. Instead, I think I'll describe how I'm so far spending my last day of freedom before school beings.
I started off with sleeping in as late as I could (which was, what, 9:36 or somesuch). I then went to several thrift shops and bought clothes, some of which I'll use for a cosplay of the Protector (cosplaying my own characters, yay). Then I made "Italian tacos" for lunch (you take two tortillas, you fry 'em in a frying pan, put tomato sauce and cheese and turkey between 'em, voila). I'm currently at a public library, where I tried to find suitable fiction to read only to abandon it in favor of books on sociology and gender - not necessarily the best idea, because gender just makes me depressed. Far too depressed.
So currently, at this juncture, I am sitting at a desk in the library and alternately typing this entry and my time traveler story. A sheer fantasy. I've been gravitating towards that lately, probably because I realized that the only way I could properly deal with reality was to discover/invent an alternate reality, the kind where things can be just as horrible but at least they're bearable because they're different.
I just took a break from writing this to do a paragraph of the time traveler story. Jeffrey the time traveler's looking for toothpicks and glue in the old English countryside home he's wound up at. This is just after he manically searches one of its rooms for clocks. The next chapter, I think, is going to take place at an earlier time, still in England, but just before the first performance of Shakespeare's King Lear. Or maybe Macbeth. Which Shakespeare play is better for a time traveler, hmm, I don't know. There's a reason a scene takes place there, and it makes sense in context.
So yes. No crying over the impending departure from everything I currently hold dear. No. I'm just going to think about time travelers and Shakespeare and stuff. Yes.
No. Not going to talk about that. Instead, I think I'll describe how I'm so far spending my last day of freedom before school beings.
I started off with sleeping in as late as I could (which was, what, 9:36 or somesuch). I then went to several thrift shops and bought clothes, some of which I'll use for a cosplay of the Protector (cosplaying my own characters, yay). Then I made "Italian tacos" for lunch (you take two tortillas, you fry 'em in a frying pan, put tomato sauce and cheese and turkey between 'em, voila). I'm currently at a public library, where I tried to find suitable fiction to read only to abandon it in favor of books on sociology and gender - not necessarily the best idea, because gender just makes me depressed. Far too depressed.
So currently, at this juncture, I am sitting at a desk in the library and alternately typing this entry and my time traveler story. A sheer fantasy. I've been gravitating towards that lately, probably because I realized that the only way I could properly deal with reality was to discover/invent an alternate reality, the kind where things can be just as horrible but at least they're bearable because they're different.
I just took a break from writing this to do a paragraph of the time traveler story. Jeffrey the time traveler's looking for toothpicks and glue in the old English countryside home he's wound up at. This is just after he manically searches one of its rooms for clocks. The next chapter, I think, is going to take place at an earlier time, still in England, but just before the first performance of Shakespeare's King Lear. Or maybe Macbeth. Which Shakespeare play is better for a time traveler, hmm, I don't know. There's a reason a scene takes place there, and it makes sense in context.
So yes. No crying over the impending departure from everything I currently hold dear. No. I'm just going to think about time travelers and Shakespeare and stuff. Yes.