LJI friends & rivals: topic 8
I made a vow of temperance (though it didn't feel like anything so formal to me) after I found out I was pregnant. For the most part, it wasn't a hard one to keep because it was for such a personally worthwhile cause.
Even though I grew up in a household where my folks liked their cocktails, I started drinking as a freshman in college, and to this day I still very much enjoy a nice glass of wine or a frosty mug of a good microbrew, I found to my surprise it was easy to refrain from alcohol during my pregnancies.
After delivering my kids, I can't recall for sure when I resumed drinking, but I remember it was gradual and no big rush to do so.
I also had two extended periods of sexual abstinence. The first by circumstance lasted about 19 months, and it wasn't overly trying past the initial few months of intensely missing sex and even more just being so physically close with another human being.
The second time lasted close to three years, and it was more by design. I made a conscious decision that sex for the sake of itself didn't always do a whole lot for me, and occasionally left me feeling more lonely than I had before.
I took up some crafts, enjoyed more short, solo road trips, and learned much more about what I liked and valued about myself. It was also very freeing to be unencumbered by another person's preferences, wants, and schedule.
So to that point in my life, my various periods of and reasons for abstinence proved to be worthwhile, enlightening even.
In recent years, there hasn't been any particular item or activity I've felt a drive to abstain from. Then last summer my son expressed volubly and succinctly how much he hated it when I sang in the car. 8(
Music and singing have been something I've loved for just about as long as I can remember. Heck, I sang to my kids when they were babies, and it was a pretty darn reliable soother for both of them. His request stung, there was no getting around it. But after we discussed it a bit and he explained more about how strongly he felt, I agreed to try to refrain from singing when he was riding in the car with me.
The thing is, driving is one of my favorite times to sing because it's my space and I can belt out* whatever song I want in a semi-private, judgment-free zone.
*please note: I actually rarely sing at or near top volume; I just like the phrase.
I noticed the frequency and duration of our drives decreased considerably. I told him what was happening and asked what other arrangement we could work out. We came to terms with a promise I wouldn't sing to a handful of songs he deemed his favorites, and another smaller handful of tunes he couldn't stand.
Upshot: those five weeks of not singing were some of the longest in my life!
this is my entry for Week 8 of LJI Friends & Rivals. stay tuned for a later update on voting information for this and other submissions after the deadline for entries passes.
Even though I grew up in a household where my folks liked their cocktails, I started drinking as a freshman in college, and to this day I still very much enjoy a nice glass of wine or a frosty mug of a good microbrew, I found to my surprise it was easy to refrain from alcohol during my pregnancies.
After delivering my kids, I can't recall for sure when I resumed drinking, but I remember it was gradual and no big rush to do so.
I also had two extended periods of sexual abstinence. The first by circumstance lasted about 19 months, and it wasn't overly trying past the initial few months of intensely missing sex and even more just being so physically close with another human being.
The second time lasted close to three years, and it was more by design. I made a conscious decision that sex for the sake of itself didn't always do a whole lot for me, and occasionally left me feeling more lonely than I had before.
I took up some crafts, enjoyed more short, solo road trips, and learned much more about what I liked and valued about myself. It was also very freeing to be unencumbered by another person's preferences, wants, and schedule.
So to that point in my life, my various periods of and reasons for abstinence proved to be worthwhile, enlightening even.
In recent years, there hasn't been any particular item or activity I've felt a drive to abstain from. Then last summer my son expressed volubly and succinctly how much he hated it when I sang in the car. 8(
Music and singing have been something I've loved for just about as long as I can remember. Heck, I sang to my kids when they were babies, and it was a pretty darn reliable soother for both of them. His request stung, there was no getting around it. But after we discussed it a bit and he explained more about how strongly he felt, I agreed to try to refrain from singing when he was riding in the car with me.
The thing is, driving is one of my favorite times to sing because it's my space and I can belt out* whatever song I want in a semi-private, judgment-free zone.
*please note: I actually rarely sing at or near top volume; I just like the phrase.
I noticed the frequency and duration of our drives decreased considerably. I told him what was happening and asked what other arrangement we could work out. We came to terms with a promise I wouldn't sing to a handful of songs he deemed his favorites, and another smaller handful of tunes he couldn't stand.
Upshot: those five weeks of not singing were some of the longest in my life!
this is my entry for Week 8 of LJI Friends & Rivals. stay tuned for a later update on voting information for this and other submissions after the deadline for entries passes.