bundle of nerves
this week i've been in a state of constant anxiety. not so much that i'm experiencing anxiety attacks, but enough that these little anxieties are just festering in the back of my head.
1. open-water swim
yes, i completed an open-water swim, my first ever, last weekend. i squeezed into my rented wetsuit and jumped into the freezing ocean, past the break, and far enough so i could not touch the bottom. it was frightening, but at the same time liberating. there were a few moments where i experienced minor freak-outs, but otherwise, i did OK. the open-water swim scheduled for tomorrow, involves actually swimming in the water. this type of exercises teaches you how to sight properly, since on race-day when you're in the water with 50-100 other people, you can't see squat (you can even see properly when it's just you), so you have to pop up from your swim, without breaking your stride too much, to check to see where you're at and where you need to go. this is extremely important for ocean-swimming, because currents have a sneaky way of moving you in an unplanned direction. lake-swimming doesn't really require this too much, but you do have to make sure you sight properly so that you're on the right course. anyway, i did some swimming last weekend, but i'm expecting this swim to be more intense and focused. i felt like this last week, too, but powered through anyway, which is what i'll have to do today and tomorrow.
2. triathlon in 2 weeks
this is, of course, related to anxiety #1. our triathlon is in 2 weeks, on may 2. we've been training for 6 weeks so far. i'm definitely stronger than i was 6 weeks ago, but i'm still worried that something will happen to me. i'm worried about being kicked in the head during the swim; finding a slick part on the road and eating it on my bike; being so exhausted that i collapse during the run. i've done 1 competitive bike race (the tri relay that marshall and i did last summer), but i've never been out there for myself. last week i was reading the race details and they listed the longest times they'll allow for each part of the race. the swim is 1/2 mile and they allow athletes to stay in the water swimming up to 25 minutes. i'm certainly not a strong swimmer and i'm worried i'll lose out before i even get started. cycling itself isn't a big deal, but the cycling portion of the race involves a lot of climbing. that's not one of my strong-suits. i can do it, yes, but i don't feel confident. then there's the running...training for this triathlon has really compounded my hatred for running. yes, i've gotten considerably better at running and i'm able to run 4 miles now, but that doesn't mean i like it any more than i did 6 weeks ago. at this point, i'm hoping to just survive this triathlon. i'm making it much bigger in my head than it actually is and because i keep mulling i over in my head, it's only getting bigger. i need to stop that.
3. work
starting on monday, i will be taking over my cube-mate's job for 9 weeks. his job is much different than mine and adds a considerable amount of work to my already chock-full plate of responsibilities. i'm not worried about the amount of work involved; workload doesn't really get to me. what makes me nervous is that he has his own set of goals and priorities and it's up to me, while he's gone, to make sure that the momentum continues and that he eventually gets close to, if not fully achieving, his overall goal for the year. he's made it very clear how much this means to him and i think that considerably adds to the anxiety. it's up to me to follow up with editorial teams to make sure they get their books into the workflow and out to the vendor on-time, if it's meant to come into production before the end of our fiscal year. this allows our system to recognize titles as being part of this workflow and increases my cube-mate's percentage of meeting his goal. it's a lot for me and it's been kinda crazy trying to learn his job. marshall assured me last night that my boss wouldn't have asked me if she didn't think i could handle this. i countered with "or she thought i was a big enough of a sucker to agree to do this." granted, i was put in a position where it was extremely difficult to say no, but yeah, i suppose there's merit to what marshall said.
4. dinner
i'm having HATT and JICOLE over for dinner tomorrow night. i got anxious when i had spitemeat and his wife over and they were just two people. now this is a dinner for 6 people and i'm attempting a few new recipes, so i'm still feeling anxious. it all, of course, comes from being the daughter of a perfectionist hostess, who always threw the most splendid dinner parties where everyone was satisfied with the meal and the company. i always get worried that people will get bored. this is something i really shouldn't worry too much about, but i do anyway. *sigh*
+_+_+
on a much brighter note: dariosmonkey and i went out for a special dinner. i got an email from one of my favorite french restaurants, twist, promoting an upcoming special menu of "fear factor" dishes. i forwarded the message to marshall to see if he would be interested in going, but he responded with a definite "no." i mentioned it to jes when we got together for dinner last week and she was really enthusiastic about it. we decided to go together and experience some new things. here is the menu we were served:
Course #1: Boudin Noir (blood sausage) and sautéed apple
Course #2: Mixed greens, walnut dressing and crispy Sweetbread
Course #3: Braised spicy Monkfish, saffron Basmati rice
Course #4 (Main Course): Braised pied de cochon (pigs' feet), Beef tongue with caramelized onions, and Calf liver with braised onions and cornichon (french pickles) gravy
Course #5: Baked Epoisse in puff pastry
Course #6: Candied chestnuts and Jamaican rum ice cream
i loved everything that came to the table. the blood sausage was an amuse bouche and we were served merely a nugget of the delicious sausage and the apples on the side were a great pairing. i had never had sweetbread before, so i was anticipating the second course. they were delicious and the breading was reminiscent of really good fried chicken. the meat itself, though, was rich and delicious. there was a slight change for the main course. were originally supposed to have been served boiled calves' head, but instead it was replaced with beef tongue. i've had tongue before, but it was served pickled and chilled with a vinegar dressing (it was at a basque restaurant). this tongue was actually roasted and had the flavor of a roast, but the texture of kidney (kinda pasty). i think out of everything, it was my least favorite. the surprise on the plate was the pigs' feet! those were super yummy and terribly tender. they braised the feet, removed the bones, and made a meatball out of the rest with added mushrooms inside. it was really great! the calves' liver was also amazing. super rich and the gravy that came with it was incredible. the cheese course was also very good. it was served melted onto a disc of puff pastry. the cheese itself was salty and smooth with almost a meaty flavor. i liked it a lot and it certainly did have a very alluring and pungent aroma. the dessert course was hardly fear-factor, but it was a beautiful and refreshing end to a delicious meal. man, that rum ice cream was good! overall, it was well worth the extra price, especially since i probably won't be eating any of this on a regular basis (i'd rather like to avoid gout, if at all possible). jes and i had a great time! :)
+_+_+
i'm lagging behind posting to my food blog. i realize after i wrote the above segment, i could easily add that as a post to the blog. perhaps i'll do that later. i have 2 dinners i still have to write about: tostadas with my sister and eggs in purgatory. i need to get on that. hopefully i'll have time this afternoon to update. i need to go to the DMV to update my name change on my drivers' license (since i'll need that to change my name on my bank account). i'm sure that'll take up the majority of my afternoon today. i just need to remember to bring anything and everything, just in case they ask. i wonder if they'll update my car registration name, too...
1. open-water swim
yes, i completed an open-water swim, my first ever, last weekend. i squeezed into my rented wetsuit and jumped into the freezing ocean, past the break, and far enough so i could not touch the bottom. it was frightening, but at the same time liberating. there were a few moments where i experienced minor freak-outs, but otherwise, i did OK. the open-water swim scheduled for tomorrow, involves actually swimming in the water. this type of exercises teaches you how to sight properly, since on race-day when you're in the water with 50-100 other people, you can't see squat (you can even see properly when it's just you), so you have to pop up from your swim, without breaking your stride too much, to check to see where you're at and where you need to go. this is extremely important for ocean-swimming, because currents have a sneaky way of moving you in an unplanned direction. lake-swimming doesn't really require this too much, but you do have to make sure you sight properly so that you're on the right course. anyway, i did some swimming last weekend, but i'm expecting this swim to be more intense and focused. i felt like this last week, too, but powered through anyway, which is what i'll have to do today and tomorrow.
2. triathlon in 2 weeks
this is, of course, related to anxiety #1. our triathlon is in 2 weeks, on may 2. we've been training for 6 weeks so far. i'm definitely stronger than i was 6 weeks ago, but i'm still worried that something will happen to me. i'm worried about being kicked in the head during the swim; finding a slick part on the road and eating it on my bike; being so exhausted that i collapse during the run. i've done 1 competitive bike race (the tri relay that marshall and i did last summer), but i've never been out there for myself. last week i was reading the race details and they listed the longest times they'll allow for each part of the race. the swim is 1/2 mile and they allow athletes to stay in the water swimming up to 25 minutes. i'm certainly not a strong swimmer and i'm worried i'll lose out before i even get started. cycling itself isn't a big deal, but the cycling portion of the race involves a lot of climbing. that's not one of my strong-suits. i can do it, yes, but i don't feel confident. then there's the running...training for this triathlon has really compounded my hatred for running. yes, i've gotten considerably better at running and i'm able to run 4 miles now, but that doesn't mean i like it any more than i did 6 weeks ago. at this point, i'm hoping to just survive this triathlon. i'm making it much bigger in my head than it actually is and because i keep mulling i over in my head, it's only getting bigger. i need to stop that.
3. work
starting on monday, i will be taking over my cube-mate's job for 9 weeks. his job is much different than mine and adds a considerable amount of work to my already chock-full plate of responsibilities. i'm not worried about the amount of work involved; workload doesn't really get to me. what makes me nervous is that he has his own set of goals and priorities and it's up to me, while he's gone, to make sure that the momentum continues and that he eventually gets close to, if not fully achieving, his overall goal for the year. he's made it very clear how much this means to him and i think that considerably adds to the anxiety. it's up to me to follow up with editorial teams to make sure they get their books into the workflow and out to the vendor on-time, if it's meant to come into production before the end of our fiscal year. this allows our system to recognize titles as being part of this workflow and increases my cube-mate's percentage of meeting his goal. it's a lot for me and it's been kinda crazy trying to learn his job. marshall assured me last night that my boss wouldn't have asked me if she didn't think i could handle this. i countered with "or she thought i was a big enough of a sucker to agree to do this." granted, i was put in a position where it was extremely difficult to say no, but yeah, i suppose there's merit to what marshall said.
4. dinner
i'm having HATT and JICOLE over for dinner tomorrow night. i got anxious when i had spitemeat and his wife over and they were just two people. now this is a dinner for 6 people and i'm attempting a few new recipes, so i'm still feeling anxious. it all, of course, comes from being the daughter of a perfectionist hostess, who always threw the most splendid dinner parties where everyone was satisfied with the meal and the company. i always get worried that people will get bored. this is something i really shouldn't worry too much about, but i do anyway. *sigh*
+_+_+
on a much brighter note: dariosmonkey and i went out for a special dinner. i got an email from one of my favorite french restaurants, twist, promoting an upcoming special menu of "fear factor" dishes. i forwarded the message to marshall to see if he would be interested in going, but he responded with a definite "no." i mentioned it to jes when we got together for dinner last week and she was really enthusiastic about it. we decided to go together and experience some new things. here is the menu we were served:
Course #1: Boudin Noir (blood sausage) and sautéed apple
Course #2: Mixed greens, walnut dressing and crispy Sweetbread
Course #3: Braised spicy Monkfish, saffron Basmati rice
Course #4 (Main Course): Braised pied de cochon (pigs' feet), Beef tongue with caramelized onions, and Calf liver with braised onions and cornichon (french pickles) gravy
Course #5: Baked Epoisse in puff pastry
Course #6: Candied chestnuts and Jamaican rum ice cream
i loved everything that came to the table. the blood sausage was an amuse bouche and we were served merely a nugget of the delicious sausage and the apples on the side were a great pairing. i had never had sweetbread before, so i was anticipating the second course. they were delicious and the breading was reminiscent of really good fried chicken. the meat itself, though, was rich and delicious. there was a slight change for the main course. were originally supposed to have been served boiled calves' head, but instead it was replaced with beef tongue. i've had tongue before, but it was served pickled and chilled with a vinegar dressing (it was at a basque restaurant). this tongue was actually roasted and had the flavor of a roast, but the texture of kidney (kinda pasty). i think out of everything, it was my least favorite. the surprise on the plate was the pigs' feet! those were super yummy and terribly tender. they braised the feet, removed the bones, and made a meatball out of the rest with added mushrooms inside. it was really great! the calves' liver was also amazing. super rich and the gravy that came with it was incredible. the cheese course was also very good. it was served melted onto a disc of puff pastry. the cheese itself was salty and smooth with almost a meaty flavor. i liked it a lot and it certainly did have a very alluring and pungent aroma. the dessert course was hardly fear-factor, but it was a beautiful and refreshing end to a delicious meal. man, that rum ice cream was good! overall, it was well worth the extra price, especially since i probably won't be eating any of this on a regular basis (i'd rather like to avoid gout, if at all possible). jes and i had a great time! :)
+_+_+
i'm lagging behind posting to my food blog. i realize after i wrote the above segment, i could easily add that as a post to the blog. perhaps i'll do that later. i have 2 dinners i still have to write about: tostadas with my sister and eggs in purgatory. i need to get on that. hopefully i'll have time this afternoon to update. i need to go to the DMV to update my name change on my drivers' license (since i'll need that to change my name on my bank account). i'm sure that'll take up the majority of my afternoon today. i just need to remember to bring anything and everything, just in case they ask. i wonder if they'll update my car registration name, too...