(no subject)
So Merry Christmas to everyone, and I hope that everyone had a good and safe one too! I had a really great one. Although thats not really the reason why I am posting in here. Once again I am just here to vent my feelings and emotions about Ryan. I would do it on myspace, but he has an account and stuff, and well here, he doesn't. These are things that if I decided to tell him that I would rather tell him then have him read it on the internet, that and I am pretty sure that most people just scan through their friends page right past mine to the people who they actually talk to and hang out with, I know I do that, but anyways.
I have been getting better about not being with him, I haven't cried for real since Friday I think, and haven't really wanted to. Last night I tried to but couldn't and then I felt guilty about it. Some guy gave me his number and told me to call him and stuff, I felt obligated to give him mine as well. The funny thing is that I actually had a crush on him in 10th grade, but he's nothing that I would ever be romanticall interested in now.
Ryan said that he was going to call me today but he hasn't yet, but he did call yesterday aroud 3:45ish. I wasn't home, I was at my sisters house, and that whole day I felt as if I was going to miss a call, so throughout the day I was checking my cell phone. Oh well. I called him last night but his step-brother said that he wasn't home and that he would tell Ryan that I called. I know that he works today but its 4:15, and I think that he gets off of work at like 5, so I am hoping that he will call when he gets home from work, because I would like to know a few more things that I didn't think to ask him when we broke up because I was all scatter brained, that and to see if we are still hanging out on New Years and if so, if we are going to hang otu with his friends. So basically I just need to talk to him to get some ?'s answered and to figured out our plans, if there are any. I do miss him a lot.
My mom is being really cool about letting me stay really till whenever as long as it is practical becuase I have to work tomorrow, because she knows thast we need to talk, and I don't want to use up my minutes talking to him, especially when I would like to just be able to talk to him, and not worry about how long we have been talking. IT would be even better if he said that he would come over tomorrow so that we can talk more and stuff.
If Ryan and I don't end up hanging out on New Years Eve, then Kara and I are going to have her mom buy us liquor and we are going to get drunk, the thing that makes it even better is because we get paid on the 30th, I just have to find a way to get my check cashed, but I am sure that we will figure something out. If we drink at her house, I can even smoke in the house. But yeah.
I just realized how much I have put in here. Well I think that I am going to get going, hopefully he calls so that we can talk.....
I have been getting better about not being with him, I haven't cried for real since Friday I think, and haven't really wanted to. Last night I tried to but couldn't and then I felt guilty about it. Some guy gave me his number and told me to call him and stuff, I felt obligated to give him mine as well. The funny thing is that I actually had a crush on him in 10th grade, but he's nothing that I would ever be romanticall interested in now.
Ryan said that he was going to call me today but he hasn't yet, but he did call yesterday aroud 3:45ish. I wasn't home, I was at my sisters house, and that whole day I felt as if I was going to miss a call, so throughout the day I was checking my cell phone. Oh well. I called him last night but his step-brother said that he wasn't home and that he would tell Ryan that I called. I know that he works today but its 4:15, and I think that he gets off of work at like 5, so I am hoping that he will call when he gets home from work, because I would like to know a few more things that I didn't think to ask him when we broke up because I was all scatter brained, that and to see if we are still hanging out on New Years and if so, if we are going to hang otu with his friends. So basically I just need to talk to him to get some ?'s answered and to figured out our plans, if there are any. I do miss him a lot.
My mom is being really cool about letting me stay really till whenever as long as it is practical becuase I have to work tomorrow, because she knows thast we need to talk, and I don't want to use up my minutes talking to him, especially when I would like to just be able to talk to him, and not worry about how long we have been talking. IT would be even better if he said that he would come over tomorrow so that we can talk more and stuff.
If Ryan and I don't end up hanging out on New Years Eve, then Kara and I are going to have her mom buy us liquor and we are going to get drunk, the thing that makes it even better is because we get paid on the 30th, I just have to find a way to get my check cashed, but I am sure that we will figure something out. If we drink at her house, I can even smoke in the house. But yeah.
I just realized how much I have put in here. Well I think that I am going to get going, hopefully he calls so that we can talk.....