I quit my job this morning.
The mere thought of using such a shitty mechanism to distract myself from all of my pain and anxiety made me sick.
I'm using this as an excuse to grow. This is the ultimate test of productivity. I want to prove to myself that I don't need the things that many would suggest to distract me in order to stay faithful to my true being. I can't picture myself kneeling over, picking the remnants of every customer's bullshit just for the sake of a paycheck and some potential comfort. My wasted time is not worth a large paycheck. With that time I lost crucial pieces of myself that I am struggling to hold onto.
We're all two people thrown into one rusty vessel. One is our true selves; the other is the sponge that acquires all of the world's negative attributes. In time the sponge acts like the conductor if our unadulterated portion fails to take over. There are certain individuals who actually allow the two personalities align. The vessel takes on multiple personalities, lows, highs, and constantly dwells in a state of bewilderment. The negative towers over the positive, constantly perusing and poisoning the depths of everything that once made it so distinctly pure. Of course we can classify this with more "convenient" terms, but for now I'd prefer to stay away from medical categorization.
I'm using this as an excuse to grow. This is the ultimate test of productivity. I want to prove to myself that I don't need the things that many would suggest to distract me in order to stay faithful to my true being. I can't picture myself kneeling over, picking the remnants of every customer's bullshit just for the sake of a paycheck and some potential comfort. My wasted time is not worth a large paycheck. With that time I lost crucial pieces of myself that I am struggling to hold onto.
We're all two people thrown into one rusty vessel. One is our true selves; the other is the sponge that acquires all of the world's negative attributes. In time the sponge acts like the conductor if our unadulterated portion fails to take over. There are certain individuals who actually allow the two personalities align. The vessel takes on multiple personalities, lows, highs, and constantly dwells in a state of bewilderment. The negative towers over the positive, constantly perusing and poisoning the depths of everything that once made it so distinctly pure. Of course we can classify this with more "convenient" terms, but for now I'd prefer to stay away from medical categorization.