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I Have No Idea. I Think I Know What I Want One Minute, Then I Change My Mind The Next... I'm Feeling Pretty UnWanted By Just About EveryOne Right Now Except For Randy. I Don't Know Why. I Just Feel Like ALot Of Craps About To Change. I'm Just Sitting Here, Not Knowing What To Do. I'm Just Feeling Pretty Alone Right Now. I've Had To Deal W/ Some Rejection Alot In The Past Few Days And I'm Just Thinking About It. About What I'm Looking For In Life. What I Want Out Of All Of This. My Mind Keeps Changing And I Have No Idea What I REALLY Want. I Want Some Life Cerial, But That's Pretty Much All I'm Sure Of, Haha. I Just Want To Be Happy.... Hell I Don't Even Know If Being Happy Is Going To Make Me Happy. I Want To Be My Own Person And Independent But I Think In All Honesty I'm Scared. I'm Scared Of A Lot Of Things I Guess.... I'm Really Starting To Feel Like I'm Not Going To Do AnyThing W/ My Life. What I Thought I Wanted More Than AnyThing Turned Out To Be Something He Wasn't Ready For. Knowing That Made Me Not Ready. Now I'm Just Kind Of Lost. I Just Want To Know I'm Enough, Forever. But I'm Not Ready For It, Why Do I Want The Reassurance Of Something I'm Not Ready For? Am I That Insecure? Am I That Scared? Probably. I Don't Know Why. I Don't Know Exactly What I'm Looking For...If AnyThing. I Just Want To Know What I Need To Be Fully Happy With Myself. I've Always Felt Like I Need SomeOne Else To Make Me Happy. I Want To Make Myself Happy. I Don't Want To Depend On Others For My Happiness, But I Dont Know How To Generate It For Myself. I Think I'm Fuckin Retarded....
On A Lighter Note. Had Dinner W/ The Parents Yesterday. Nothing Like A Free Dinner. I Have To Go Pay The Cable Bill Today. Sigh, Wish I Had Money. I Decided I'm Moving Home To Concentrate On College... Now I Keep Questioning My Decision. I Really Don't Think My Parents Want Me There... That And I Don't Know If I'll Even Finish College. Sure I Want To, But Lets See It Actually Happen. Amber's Coming To Cheer Me Up. Awww She Sneezed. I Want To Swim. I Wonder If That Toothless Dickcheese Is At The Pool. He's Scary.... Well I Guess I'm Going To Go Do Stuff....
On A Lighter Note. Had Dinner W/ The Parents Yesterday. Nothing Like A Free Dinner. I Have To Go Pay The Cable Bill Today. Sigh, Wish I Had Money. I Decided I'm Moving Home To Concentrate On College... Now I Keep Questioning My Decision. I Really Don't Think My Parents Want Me There... That And I Don't Know If I'll Even Finish College. Sure I Want To, But Lets See It Actually Happen. Amber's Coming To Cheer Me Up. Awww She Sneezed. I Want To Swim. I Wonder If That Toothless Dickcheese Is At The Pool. He's Scary.... Well I Guess I'm Going To Go Do Stuff....