Hunting the Snark
Oh God. Oh God. OMG. The pain is incredible.
I put a foot on the stair and push, icy-hot needles of agony shooting through my leg. I repeat this torture again and again until I reach my floor. It only gets worse.
I ignore the shattered ribs in my chest cavity. I reinflate one of my lungs. I clench my stomach muscles to keep my guts from spilling onto the floor.
I stumble towards my laptop. Must post to my Livejournal...must tell the world what happened...
I open internet explorer and type in Livejournal's address as fast as ten broken fingers permit. Just as the journal entry box appears I lose my sense of balance and topple from my chair and I know my number's up.
No...It can't end like this...Not here, not now...
10 minutes ago
“...And that's what Haggis is like, ken? A fuckin mystical, nae, cosmic experience fir the uninitiated. Fir fuck's sake, the pish ye call Canadian beer! Huv ye nae goat annae lager...”
“Good heavens!” I exclaim. It takes a moment to fully digest what I've just learned. I'm at a house party I've just made a new friend. Brian from Tollcross, Edinburgh, Scotland. He's everything I've imagined the Scots to be and more. I'm well tanked after drinking since 1 AM. And I figure it's time I pulled the other trigger.
“Hey Brian, have you ever encountered any Austrian students here?” I ask.
“Aye! There's one ower there.” He indicates a fairly attractive light-brown-haired girl talking to two guys taller than me. “The bird's name is Grenmaedel.”
“Her name's what?” It's nothing I've ever heard before. He repeats it.
“Ah reckon it's fae an obscure dialect, like. Met the bird oan the first day and she didnae take a liking tae ays so ah fucked right oaf and looked elsewhere.” His eyes light up. “Ah recognize that look, ye sly cunt! Do ye fancy ur?”
Well, she's certainly up to my standards. But that's not what I'm focused on. A real, honest-to-God Austrian person in the same room. To me they've been like bigfoot. I've heard of them, seen possibly-falsified footage of them, but no independent verification.
I've got chemicals in my brain and Dutch courage in my veins. I've never met a real Austrian person.
Until now.
“Be right back,” I say to my Caledonian chum. I walk over, very conscious of my heart beating faster.
“Excuse me, are you from Austria?”
In the midst of the word he was trying to say
In the midst of his laughter and glee
He had softly and suddenly vanished away
For the Snark was a Boojum, you see.
I put a foot on the stair and push, icy-hot needles of agony shooting through my leg. I repeat this torture again and again until I reach my floor. It only gets worse.
I ignore the shattered ribs in my chest cavity. I reinflate one of my lungs. I clench my stomach muscles to keep my guts from spilling onto the floor.
I stumble towards my laptop. Must post to my Livejournal...must tell the world what happened...
I open internet explorer and type in Livejournal's address as fast as ten broken fingers permit. Just as the journal entry box appears I lose my sense of balance and topple from my chair and I know my number's up.
No...It can't end like this...Not here, not now...
10 minutes ago
“...And that's what Haggis is like, ken? A fuckin mystical, nae, cosmic experience fir the uninitiated. Fir fuck's sake, the pish ye call Canadian beer! Huv ye nae goat annae lager...”
“Good heavens!” I exclaim. It takes a moment to fully digest what I've just learned. I'm at a house party I've just made a new friend. Brian from Tollcross, Edinburgh, Scotland. He's everything I've imagined the Scots to be and more. I'm well tanked after drinking since 1 AM. And I figure it's time I pulled the other trigger.
“Hey Brian, have you ever encountered any Austrian students here?” I ask.
“Aye! There's one ower there.” He indicates a fairly attractive light-brown-haired girl talking to two guys taller than me. “The bird's name is Grenmaedel.”
“Her name's what?” It's nothing I've ever heard before. He repeats it.
“Ah reckon it's fae an obscure dialect, like. Met the bird oan the first day and she didnae take a liking tae ays so ah fucked right oaf and looked elsewhere.” His eyes light up. “Ah recognize that look, ye sly cunt! Do ye fancy ur?”
Well, she's certainly up to my standards. But that's not what I'm focused on. A real, honest-to-God Austrian person in the same room. To me they've been like bigfoot. I've heard of them, seen possibly-falsified footage of them, but no independent verification.
I've got chemicals in my brain and Dutch courage in my veins. I've never met a real Austrian person.
Until now.
“Be right back,” I say to my Caledonian chum. I walk over, very conscious of my heart beating faster.
“Excuse me, are you from Austria?”
In the midst of the word he was trying to say
In the midst of his laughter and glee
He had softly and suddenly vanished away
For the Snark was a Boojum, you see.