Under the bridge
Beep. Beep. Beep.
‘Fuck,’ Spencer thinks, ‘not already’. Groaning at the alarm clock showing an insane 6.00 AM of a friday morning,he turns it off and turns his face on the pillow,bracing himself for his mother coming upstairs to wake him up in 3…2…1…
“Spenceeer!” He just grunts.
“Come on,sweetie,it’s the last day of the week,resist…” Spencer grunts again; tiredly,he sits up in the bed.
“I’ll never understand why I have to wake up at this ungodly hour…” he murmurs.
“We already talked about this,Spencer…” she whispers back warningly,used to the hushed tones of their morning arguments,not to wake the twins up.
“Why do you insist on me taking the longer way when I can easily pass under the bridge?”
“Why are you still discussing about that in February? School has started a long time ago! And I told you plenty of times that I don’t want you near that bridge,it’s full of homeless people,drug addicted and delinquents!”
“I could always get a driver license,finally drive a car and arrive at school safely!”
Silence from his mother’s side.
Spencer just huffs and hops off the bed,shuffling to the chair where he put his clothes the evening before.
“Breakfast’s almost ready,” his mother adds before heading downstairs.
Every morning is the same: Spencer and his mother argue every time about that bridge,avoided by any sane person but that would spare Spencer a lot of time on his way to school. He doesn’t give up,though,he’ll manage to convince his mother let him pass under that damned bridge,he’s sure. If he won’t,though,he could always go there without her knowing,it’s easy…Then why he’s never done it before? He mentally slaps himself and vows that he’ll pass under the bridge,no matter what.
Finally dressed (and that’s another reason why he has to wake up early,it always takes him forever to get ready),he follows the crispy smell of bacon and coffee coming from the kitchen: his father’s reading the newspaper,but salutes Spencer with the steaming cup; his mother is just putting some bacon on the pancakes that are going to be his breakfast; his sisters are still in bed,the little witches. Spencer doesn’t even try to involve his father in the daily discussion with his mother: Mr Smith made it very clear the first time it happened that he agrees with Mrs Smith,and that Spencer mustn’t pass under that bridge.
Muttering a goodbye,Spencer is off to school,sighing deeply at the fifteen minutes walk from his house to the bus stop,then at the long trip on the bus (he’s sure the driver picks people from the neighboring states),and finally at the additional ten minutes walk from the bus stop to the school (very clever,really,not putting a bus stop right in front of the school).
***
Spencer can’t help but hate his best friend Ryan. Just a little bit.
The lucky bitch moved closer to the high school the same summer the two had to start their freshman year: seven months ago,then. And he doesn’t have to wake up at the cock-crow. And he can sleep till a decent hour. And,most important thing,he doesn’t have the bridge-problem.
Spencer hates him just a little bit because Ryan doesn’t have a car either,otherwise he’d have kicked that skinny ass of his before forcing his best friend to give him a lift every day.
That’s what Spencer remembers Ryan almost everyday.
And Ryan is hating Spencer more than just a little bit for that,because he hates redundancy,but he’s a good friend and lets it roll.
***
School is finally over,both for the day AND for the week,thank goodness. That means videogame-afternoon at Ryan’s.
Three hours,only two defeats and a whole huge bag of potato chips later,Spencer is waiting for the bus that would bring him back home.Looking around to pass the time,Spencer spots the infamous bridge.
He’s so tempted.
…The bus doesn’t arrive…
After counting to five,just in case the bus actually appears from around the corner,Spencer heads to the bridge. His heart is pounding fast: he hopes badly not to get assaulted by aggressive and unpredictable junkies and hobos.
Daring fate and his parents’ wrath,Spencer peeks in the pitch black gallery,hiding safely (oh,naïve Spencer...) behind one of the bridge’s columns. Tentatively,he moves the first steps in the lightened half-moon at the gallerym’s mouth,before taking courage and deciding to walk fast,fast,faster,to the other end of the gallery. It’s not so far,isn’t it?
Opening attentively his hears and scanning the surroundings in case of danger,Spencer is almost running to reach the passing-by cars and the lights of the city,but he’s stopped by a tap on his shoulder that makes him jump and scream. His attempt to run away is blocked by the individual that grabbed his wrist with calloused and dirty hands.
“Hey,do you have some money?” the person croaks.A young man,apparently,maybe in his twenties.
”N-no,I’m sorry…” the boy stutters quickly,trying to pry his arm off the other’s grip.
The stranger consolidates the hold and pulls Spencer a bit closer.
“What about…I give you a handjob and you pay me? If you prefer a blowjob you just have to ask…”,he suggests huskily.
Spencer is horrified,and being unable to free himself from that iron grip is going to drive him insane.
“Hey Frankie,leave him immediately!” a firm voice comes from somewhere in the darkness.
‘Frankie’ huffs,loosing his hold but not leaving Spencer yet.
“You’re no fun,dude…it was a long time that someone didn’t pass by,” Frankie addresses the unknown person, “was that a dare,kiddo?” he asks Spencer.
The boy shakes his head,not caring if the other sees his negation or not.
“Leave him,Frank,” Spencer’s savior (maybe?) repeats in a more dangerous tone.
“Okay,okay,” Frankie leaves Spencer’s wrist and walks off with his hands up in surrender. His voice is a bit more far away when he talks again, “You risked a lot,kid,don’t ever come back.”
Spencer’s frozen on the spot. He can’t move a muscle,too scared by what just happened. Damn,the guy’s right,why the hell he decided to pass under this goddamned bridge?
Spencer is on the verge of crying,when a hand lingers gently on his shoulder,making him jump again and choke a cry out.
“Hey,hey,it’s okay,nobody wants to hurt you…just please follow me,I’m taking you at the end of the gallery,making sure nobody bothers you anymore,” the velvety voice of Spencer’s savior says comfortingly.
“A-All right,” Spencer replies in a whisper,allowing the other guy to put a hand on his back,to let the ill-considered boy know he’s there to help him.
Finally at the end of the bridge’s gallery,Spencer leans against another columns and slides down it,sitting on the concrete with deep shaky breaths,not noticing some tears started to fall down his cheeks.
“…You okay now?” the mysterious guy asks,with a hint of worry in the voice.
Spencer simply nods,not trusting his own voice.
They stay like that in silence for a while,till Spencer calms down a bit and wipes his eyes.
“The name’s Jon,” the guy declares,bending down a bit and sticking a slightly scratched hand out. Spencer looks at it and then moves his gaze to the body attached to it: average height;quite good clothes,despite all;a bit of ‘drunk-tummy’;scruffy beard around a shy smile; two amazing hazel eyes not hidden by the rather dirty hair.
The boy shakes hands hesitantly, “Spencer,” he introduces himself, “and…thanks.”
”Don’t mention it,” Jon says with a little effort affecting his voice when he helps Spencer to stand up, “but you’ve been very stupid,ya know?”
Spencer nods.
Jon sighs, “As my friend said,don’t ever come back,kid. Frankie’s not bad,maybe just a bit…over the top,but he’s not bad…Someone else that wasn’t him or me would have simply stabbed you to death,robbed you and threw your body to the rats.”
Spencer shudders disgusted.
“Sorry,it’s too extreme,but it’s not too far from reality,” Jon apologizes,more or less.
“N-no,it’s okay,you’re right.I knew it was dangerous,but this damned bridge would spare me a lot of time in the morning to go to school,if it wasn’t for…” Spencer explains eagerly, mindful of his discussions with his mother about that same bridge,noticing only at the end that he was going to offend Jon.
“…for us?” Jon completes the sentence with a crooked smile. Spencer doesn’t dare to look at him and nods imperceptibly.
Jon chuckles, “It’s all right,I know this is not the best place to live,and the company isn’t the best either,but some of us aren’t that bad,you know?” he smiles shyly.
Spencer finally looks at him,smiling back.
“Hey,what about…Nah,you’ll think I’m a total freak…and an incoherent dude,after I told you to never return here…”
”What about what?” Spencer asks, a bit confused.
Jon scratches his head a bit embarrassed when explaining, “Well,I was thinking that if you are really sure that this bridge would let you go to school more easily,I could…erm…be your ‘bodyguard’ and bring you safely at the other end of the gallery?”
Spencer is speechless. On a hand,he’s not totally sure he could believe this Jon guy,even if he just saved his life; on the other hand,the perspective of not waking up at six in the morning anymore is very appealing. There’s a problem,though.
“Oh,wow,ehm…it would be great but…what can I say to convince my mother to wake me up later? I can’t tell her I’m going to pass the bridge,nor that I actually did it,nor that I met someone like you…No offence,” Spencer reasons,with the decency to blush at his last statement.
“It’s okay…Damn,you’re right…You could,uh…tell her a friend of yours can give you a lift?”
“It can’t work,Ryan doesn’t drive…”
“Maybe another friend?” Jon points out.
“…Yeah,” Spencer lights up, “I could always tell her I have a new friend that lives nearby and that could drive me to school,even if it’s not true!”
Jon smiles,chuckling at Spencer’s renewed enthusiasm, “I shouldn’t suggest you to lie but yeah,if you think it could work it’s fine.”
“Definitely,” Spencer smiles back,with light heart, “and I have the whole weekend to convince her.”
“Haha,yeah.Okay,then…when’s our date?”
Spencer blushes, “D-Date?”
Jon laughs out loud, “When are we going to meet here so that I can escort you through this hell hole,defending your virginity?” he adds,grinning widely.
Spencer gapes at him outraged,blushing even more; Jon smirks.
“Calm down,I was kidding. Seriously,though,it could happen…” the scruffy guy adds pensively, “Anyway,tell me what time you’re going to be here and I’ll accompany you,” Jon says softly.
Spencer is still a bit wary,but sighs and thinks,“Uh,I don’t know, maybe seven-thirty?”
“Perfect.See ya Monday morning,then?”
“Yep,” Spencer confirms, “And…thank you again…” he adds,his cheeks pinking some more.
Jon salutes and turns to the dark gallery,flicking his lighter on before disappearing in the black surroundings.
Spencer looks at him leaving before the ringing cellphone startles him.
“Where the hell are you?” his mother’s angry and worried voice comes from the other end.
“I’m coming,I’m coming,the bus took forever to arrive,” Spencer explains with a roll of his eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me,Spencer Smith. See you later,” his clairvoyant mother adds,ending the call.
Spencer distractedly puts the phone back in the pocket,thinking back at what just took place at the bridge,with Frankie and Jon. Too focused on that,he risks to miss the bus that is getting to the nearer bus stop; only after he’s run like a mad man to catch the bus,he can sit and reason out a bit about what just happened.
Hey,by the way,was Jon seriously wearing sandals in winter time?
***
“Come ooooon,mum!” Spencer whines for the third time that Sunday,if you don’t count the seventeen times he groaned those three words on Saturday.
“Geez,Spencer,quit it!” his mothers cries out exasperated, “I told you that until you’ll finally be able to tell me the name of that ‘friend of yours’ that would drive you to school,you won’t wake up later!”
Spencer is in deep shit: he spent the whole Saturday struggling to convince his mother to let him oversleep in the school mornings,trying to feed her the story of a new friend of his that could give him a lift to school.He hasn’t plotted enough,though,in fact he forgot to think of a name or actually ask a friend to support his position,he just notices,and now he’s paying the consequences.
Storming back upstairs,hoping to look more like he’s pissed and not like his lie is biting him in the ass,he’s already dialing Ryan’s number. Once safe in his bedroom,and once that lazy ass of Ross deigned to pick the phone up,Spencer talks with a hushed voice,begging for help: all Ryan has to do is coming up with the name of someone that has a car and lives in the zone between Spencer and the bridge. After the ritual ‘wtf’s from Ryan’s side,the friend finally pops up with the name of a guy in his music class,Brendon: Ryan can swear he saw the kid driving a motherfucking purple mini van. Spencer makes a face at the hideous choice,but he can’t be too picky at the moment and demands for Brendon’s number.
Thanking God for receiving a quick reply from the Brendon-kid,who kindly accepted to help him out and gave him the basic informations about who he is-where he lives-blah blah blah for a more convincing lie,Spencer can just hope his mother will finally capitulate.
Waiting another hour or so,not to look too suspicious, Spencer startles his mother in the laundry (haha,the clairvoyant didn’t ‘feel’ him coming,for once). Giving her son one of her best bitch faces,that Spencer inherited and applies successfully as well,at least with his knot of friends,she immediately says ‘No’.
Spencer goes on with the play,waiting for the right moment to drop Brendon’s name. His mother of course asks why the hell he hasn’t said it before and she’s more than happy to finally give her agreement after she hears the name: apparently Brendon is the nicest guy ever,born in a Mormon family,always smiley-- Spencer stops listening to his mother right after he got the “yes” he craved.
“Then what time will he get you?” Mrs Smith inquires.
“Uh?” Spencer is snapped back to Earth.
“What time will Brendon get you?” his mother replies with a huff.
“Oh,ehm…we’re gonna meet in front of the Salpeter bakery…it’s easier…” the boy answers back, mentally praying she’d fall for it.
Mrs Smith cocks an eyebrow, “But he drives,he could come to pick you up.”
”Oh,well,I…I suggested to meet there and…” Spencer starts explaining tentatively.
“A-ah!” Spencer’s mother exclaims triumphantly.
‘Fuckshitcunt,’ the boy thinks:he’s screwed.
“You fear I could embarrass you with Brendon,isn’t it?” she sneers playfully.
‘Oh thank you,’ Spencer can breathe again. He scratches his head,acting guilty of thinking that,but if he could he would dance on the spot.
His mother smirks,”I promise I won’t do or say anything when he’s around. Now go away.”
Spencer accomplishes,hissing a ‘fuck yeah’ when he’s sure to be out of earshot.
***
Monday morning: Spencer and Brendon are in the aforementioned purple van,Spencer never stopping to thank the Mormon kid who simply saved his life;Brendon finally manages to stop him and laughs embarrassed.
After dropping Spencer at the bridge,Brendon is off to school with a wink and a “Catcha later”. Spencer is now alone,and leans against the same column of three nights before waiting for Jon.
“Nice van,” a familiar voice pipes up. Spencer turns,and Jon is right there with half closed eyes,a joint between the lips,a stained hoodie, worn out jeans and yes,sandals.
“Aren’t you cold?” Spencer asks,cocking an eyebrow.
The other just shrugs, “I’m used to it. Wanna go?”
Spencer nods silently and joins his ‘bodyguard’,sometimes checking the few people lying down here and there; he can’t help but hope nobody has died for overdosing or for the cold weather.
“They don’t bite,they’re sleeping,” Jon comforts him, enlightening his bong and dragging on it.
The boy looks at Jon,without commenting. Walking further ahead in a quite comfortable silence,the duo reaches the end of the gallery.
“Here you are,all safe and clean and pretty,” Jon points out with a grin. Spencer pinks at the way Jon just said ‘pretty’.
“I’ve never doubted that,” he says,blushing some more.
“Same place,same time?” Jon asks as a goodbye.
“Yep. Oh,and…am I going to see you this afternoon too?” Spencer asks flushing a bit,not looking directly in the other’s eyes.
“Yeah,if you want me to,I’ll be here,” Jon says, using a loving tone on purpose,to embarrass the younger guy.
Of course Spencer blushes like crazy,falling into Jon’s trap,and turns on his heels heading to school, muttering a ‘Whatever’.
Jon waves him goodbye,trembling not to laugh.
***
“In love,Smith?” Ryan’s voice comes from behind Spencer. It’s lunch time and Ryan just got to the table were his best friend and Brendon were waiting for him. Spencer was poking his mac and cheese,staring in the infinite,before being startled by Ross’ monotone voice.
“Oh,shut up,” Spencer scoffs.
“Aww,Brendon told me of your master plan to fool your mother to meet with your mysterious lover,” Ryan coos mockingly.
“You WHAT?!” Spencer shouts at Brendon.
“I-I just told him I left you at the bridge as we agreed! He just made it up,jumping to conclusion by his own!” Brendon says in his defence,glaring at Ryan for lying. Ross just smirks,the bastard.
“I don’t love anybody,you idiot. As I told you yesterday I finally found a way to pass that goddamned bridge,thanks to Brendon,” Spencer explains,staring angrily at his ‘best friend’.
Ryan tisks , “Thanks to me,because I gave you his number,’cause Spencey-baby was too stupid not to ask for a lift before pleading his mother to let him face the meanie ogre of the bridge all by himself,” Ryan says sarcastically;Spencer scowls at him.
“Anyway,who were you thinking about?” Ross asks,paying attention like a fucking gossip.
”Nobody,” Spencer replies immediately,too immediately,and that’s suspicious.
“I-I’m gonna get another tiramisu,” Brendon states,leaving the other two at their bitch faces battle. He stands up and heads to the dessert table of the canteen. Catching Ryan staring at Brendon’s bum,Spencer pokes his side.
“And I am in love,uh?”
”Shut up,you were checking his ass too.”
***
On his way back home,Spencer thinks of earlier that day,when Jon said he would be there for him also in the afternoon: he finds himself blushing at the memory of Jon’s sly tone,he knows the older guy was making fun of him but he fell for it nonetheless.
Getting closer to the bridge,he sees a person leaning against a column.
The gray hoodie is familiar.
The worn out jeans too.
And the sandals as well.
Jon was seriously waiting for him; Spencer beams despite himself and runs towards the guy.
The weed smell is still lingering in the air around Jon,and together with the misty eyes and the hazed smile is a sure proof that the guy smoked maybe a bit too much. Spencer is torn between the sort of admiration typical of teenagers for older guys that act cool,and what he’s always been taught about what is right and what is wrong. He doesn’t approve of Jon’s lifestyle,but he can’t say anything because they met only a couple of days ago,he can’t already act like a close friend (he doesn’t even know what they are) and suggest him to stop with the weed and the life on the streets (or under a bridge, for that matters). Anyway,weed is not as dangerous as cocaine or heroine or methadone or whatever shit drug addicts get…or at least Spencer hopes,for Jon.
“Why hello there,” the older guy greets, “how was your day?” The boy can’t help but be pleased for Jon’s interest,whether it’s genuine or not.
He shrugs, “Same boring stuff,same old wrinkled teachers…same life,” he ends lamely. Jon giggles. He giggles! He’s so drugged,oh man.
They go through the gallery like earlier that morning,this time chatting a bit more,especially Jon who tells the latest problem caused one by Frankie,the dude who scared Spencer shitless at their first meeting,and the concerts he’s been to thanks to a bunch of friends that are in several bands. Spencer listens rapted,with the want to have cool friends in bands,or to be part of a band (uhm,he could sort something out with Ryan and Brendon,now that he thinks about it),or to go to concerts with Jon…he likes listening to Jon,even if it’s the very first time the two have ever chatted.
The gallery is too short for Spencer like when Jon speaks,and in a heartbeat they’re at the other side of the bridge.
“Cheers,kiddo,see ya tomorrow,” Jon says abruptly,turning and leaving Spencer.
Spencer is a bit taken aback,but tries not to think too much about it when he makes his way to the nearest bus stop; he doesn’t have to get too involved with Jon or to take personally his mood swings or sudden ends of conversations,he knows it’s the drug and the life on the streets. It’s the drug and the life on the streets,it’s the drug and the life on the streets,he repeats himself.
***
Months pass,and Spencer is astonished for becoming Jon’s friend; the guy himself asked him a rather warm afternoon of april (Spencer slaps himself for still remembering those particulars of the ‘event’), “Hey kid,it’s a couple of months that we meet here everyday and chat and blah blah,i suppose we’re friends,right?”.
Spencer is dumbfounded,but manages to nod with his mouth open and the eyes wide.
“Good,” Jon simply states,resuming his summary of the prior night he spent at his friend Tom’s house,laughing and getting wasted till dawn.
In three months,Spencer got to know Jon a bit more: he’s twenty years old; he has two older brothers; he takes care of alley cats he sees around,especially two that stick around more and that he called Clover and Dylan; he uses to play bass when his friends in the bands need him,but he’s also good with the guitar; he loves photography and misses his old camera that he had to sold to have some money to live on the streets,but his friend Tom let him borrow his; he doesn’t have a stable job; he doesn’t mind living on the streets,but he doesn’t say no when his friends let him crash at their houses, especially Tom.
Spencer feels a bit of jealousy in the pit of his stomach whenever the name ‘Tom’ lingers on those pink and well defined lips,he can’t help it.
...Did Spencer just say Jon has pink and well defined lips? Oh,come on, it was just a consideration...
Right?
***
Spencer is in that age when you try to understand your sexuality,when you’re curious about sex, when you’re a little bit in love with your best friend,when you try to deny or live with your possible homosexuality. He and Ryan had never talked about possible man crushes,but Spencer is sure his friend likes Brendon ‘in that way’,and he’ll make sure to make fun of Ross for it whenever there’s the chance. What about Spencer ,though? He can’t make that much fun of Ryan if he himself had a crush on his best friend last year and finds Jon somewhat attractive; Spencer is bright red just thinking of him,he can’t have a fucking crush for the older druggie,hell no. But…but he likes Jon’s voice so much,he likes the way he feels when he listens to the older guy,his lisp is too cute (oh geez,he just said ‘cute’…what is he,a girl,now?),he can rock a beard like nobody else he knows,and he wears sandals in winter!
…Where’s a deep and black hole to sink in,when you need one? Spencer can’t fantasize over the homeless guy he met only three months ago...
***
“Fucking fuck,how can it be so hot in may?” a flushed Spencer asks,waving a hand as a fan and nibbling at the ice cone Jon welcomed him with that afternoon.
“It’s late may,besides seasons aren’t as defined as bfeore,” Jon observes.
“You talk like my grandpa,” Spencer states,looking at him blankly. Jon laughs loudly,shoving Spencer and risking to make both their ice cones fall on the concrete; Spencer finds himself laughing along heartily.
When they finally calm down a bit,they carry on eating their cones; Spencer is more taking into Jon’s appearance: messy hair sticking a bit on the forehead,flushed cheekbones,a t-shirt with rolled up sleeves glued to the body because of the sweat. And the slow laps to the red ice,oh my God. Spencer finds Jon extremely hot today,and it’s not the weather.
“What?” Jon asks curiously,looking sideways at Spencer,still busy with the cone. The boy blushes, “N-nothing,” he says,before finishing his own ice cone.
They remain in silence, enjoying the fresher air that blows every now and then.
Jon finally pulls a joint out and is going to enlighten it when Spencer asks, “Why do you smoke?”
The older guy blinks at him.
“Why do you smoke weed? Spencer repeats.
“I got it,I’m not stupid,” Jon replies,sounding more harsh than what he wanted, “Sorry…why I smoke,you asked? Well…I…”
Spencer looks at him expectantly,noticing Jon’s facial expression change from surprise to a bit of annoyance to sadness,and he starts to feel a bit unhappy as well,even if Jon hasn’t explained anything yet.
“I…had a girlfriend,her name was Cassie…She was the sweetest girl ever,she dreamed to become a pediatrician…She…she got ill…” the young man starts,but trails off staring at the floor,blinking the upcoming tears away.
“Don’t you have homework to do?” he suddenly asks angrily,standing up. Spencer looks at him down up,regretting asking such a question,but he didn’t expect the answer to be so dramatic.
Jon grabs Spencer’s backpack and pulls him on his feet,dragging him at the other end of the gallery,getting there faster than the other times; he throws the backpack at the boy and storms back,not saying goodbye.
“Jon! Jon,I’m sorry,I did’t know…! Jon!” Spencer tries to call after him,but the other guy ignores him and disappears in a dark corner.
Spencer stands there for a while,hoping Jon would return and let him apologize,but he doesn’t.
Knowing his mother would kill him if he returns home too late,he makes his way home,sulking for the whole course.
***
For a whole week Spencer goes directly at school with Brendon in his minivan.
Remorse and regret are heavy in his chest; that damned question and the upset face of Jon haunt his wake and sleeping hours.
“You know,” Brendon starts,breaking the gloomy silence in the van, “whatever is worrying you,you should face it boldly. I don’t know if there’s a misunderstanding with your parents or some of your friends or whatever,but you should apologize,I guess. I have no idea if it’s your fault in the first place,but looking at how you’re blaming yourself I assume it is.So…strong,Spencer,okay?”
Spencer looks at him: he wants to hug Brendon so badly,but they’d risk to crash against a lamp pole,so better not,maybe once they’re safe at school.
“Thank you,Bren,” he says,feeling his eyes water a bit.
“No problem,” Brendon replies with a smile,getting into the road that leads to the school’s parking lot.
***
Being it a videogames-at-Ryan’s-friday,Spencer arrives later at the bridge,but summer is getting kinda close and the sun starts to set a bit later. When he gets in front of the bridge he looks around,calling for Jon and hoping to see him,but with no luck; only when he’s almost ready to give up he spots two feet in sandals peeking from behind a column,and shortly after Jon comes from behind the column,not looking at Spencer yet.
They face each other like that,not looking at the other directly in the eyes.
“I’m sorry!” they finally exclaim in unison; that makes them actually glance one another.
“Jon,please,forgive me…I’d have never guessed there was such a sad story behind your addiction to weed…and I didn’t want to upset you remembering her…I’m sorry…” Spencer apologizes, feeling hot tears trailing down his cheeks. He doesn’t hear Jon approaching him,he just feels strong arms hugging him and a hairy chin resting in the crook of his neck,but soon they end crying together, holding each other gently.
“I-I’m sorry for being so aggressive with you,” Jon sobs, “it’s just…that her memory is still vivid in my mind…” Spencer nods and hugs him tighter.
Jon wipes the last tears, “So,back to the bodyguard thing?” he asks with an unsure smile.
Spencer nods eagerly,and they get into the dark gallery;once they reach the other end,Jon speaks again.
“I was wondering…do you mind if I come with you?” he asks shyly.
Spencer beams,he can’t believe it, “For sure!”
***
They walk silently,Spencer is smiling widely and doesn’t do anything to hide it,with much amusement from Jon’s part.
Out of habit,Jon fishes a bong from his jeans pocket and gently put it between his lips; he feels Spencer’s light eyes burn into his skin.
“Wha-Oh,shit,” Jon looks at him with big apologetic eyes, “sorry,you don’t want me to smoke around you or your parent would think you did it,isn’t it? Sorry,sorr-“
“No,it’s okay,” Spencer reassures him, “I was just…thinking that I’d like to try it…” he explains hesitantly.
“Y-you want to smoke some weed? Who are you,what did you do of Spencer Smith?” Jon laughs a bit awkwardly,hoping to make the young guy change his mind,somehow.
Spencer chuckles, “It’s still me…and I know,you’re going to make the long-ass scolding about not doing drugs,they’re dangerous,they burn your neurons…but weed has never killed anyone,right?”
Jon looks at him blankly, “Not…that I know of?” he affirms cautiously.
Spencer sticks his hand out without another word. Jon glances at it,then at Spencer’s confident look,and with a long sigh he hands him the spliff.
Jon flicks his lighter open and enlightens the joint; Spencer takes a long and uncertain drag,coughing madly at the feeling of the smoke in his throat and nostrils. It’s hard for Jon not to laugh at the boy,but it’s his first hit and it’s comprehensible,he still remembers his first time…
Spencer tries again,and this time manages not to cough too much and to taste the weed better, waiting for its effects under the expectant and a little worried Jon’s eyes.
Bang. Spencer’s head starts to spin a bit, “Whoa,” he whispers; Jon notices he’s slightly wobbling on his legs,and holds the younger boy to avoid him falling face on the floor.
This close,Jon can see Spencer is sweating too much and his eyes are too bloodshot,it can’t be right.
“What the fuck,” he has the time to think before Spencer gets heavier in his arms, “Hey,hey,dude, don’t faint,eh?” he pleads,trying not to sound too worried.
“You know,I think I love you,Jon Walker,” it’s all Spencer says with a lazy smile before he loses consciousness for good.
“Oh fuck,no…don’t tell me it was a bad joint…” Jon whispers,looking at Spencer’s motionless body: he’s not breathing,his chest isn’t raising up and down,his eyelids aren’t fluttering,he doesn’t grab Jon’s hand back either.
“FFFUUUCK!!! Spencer! Oh shit,what did I do?!” Jon yells,immediately dialing 911,begging for an ambulance.
He doesn't want to leave Spencer's side,but he doesn't want to go to jail either. Only when he ears the siren far away,Jon forces himself to leave,survival instinct kicking in,and after kissing Spencer's colder forehead he runs away,crying.
A/N: i think i kind of rushed the "relationship" between Spencer and Jon :/ opinions?