(no subject)
i hate it here, constant fighting, constantly having to argue to get him to pay the bills, it sucks.
im sorry i hounded you to get a job or a car or a place, i just needed an exscape you were my way out, you know how much i hate it here, i just wanted to leave, with you, you know i could never do it by myself, i couldnt live alone, i hate being alone, now because of everything i put you through im more alone then i could have ever imagined, theres not a feeling in the world like standing in a middle of a crowd and not hearing anything or just seeing sudden blurs pass you by.
i wish i was self destructive, that i could just make myself go away somehow, and not have any memory of any of this.
im sorry i hounded you to get a job or a car or a place, i just needed an exscape you were my way out, you know how much i hate it here, i just wanted to leave, with you, you know i could never do it by myself, i couldnt live alone, i hate being alone, now because of everything i put you through im more alone then i could have ever imagined, theres not a feeling in the world like standing in a middle of a crowd and not hearing anything or just seeing sudden blurs pass you by.
i wish i was self destructive, that i could just make myself go away somehow, and not have any memory of any of this.