(no subject)
OKAY here is my rant. my advice to anyone who wants to go to college is to NOT FUCKING DO IT!!!! seriously me going to college has caused me way to fucking much grief. I thought college was supposed to better your life. yeah what a fucking crock of shit!!!!!!!! I went to college and i learned that I don't want to work in the food industry and now I have a shitload of debt to worry about. not too mention college has cost me a relationship, if i wasn't in florida me and kate wouldn't of broken up. now here I am a fucking college dropout who has absofuckinglutely nothing to show except a shitload of debt and a LOT of grief. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now what am I supposed to do with myself? I have nothing, no job, no girlfriend, nothing!!! I can't even think of anything that could imrpove my life. talk about hopeless!!!!! fuck!
honestly i wish i could go back to simpler times where all i had to worry about was getting picked on in school. I thought it was gonna get better but now I would kill to have that my only fucking problem. I'm sick of being depressed. my mom thinks that I am bipolar which wouldn't suprise me at all. then you add the anxiety disorder that I can thank college for. Oh yeah what about the sever asthma that I can't do shit about due to no fucking health insurance, oh yeah thats always fun. plus all the shit that I always seem to FUCK up completely. I had a good girl and I blew it because I was away from her and it was killing me inside.
kate was definately a great girlfriend. she treated me amazing and did everything she could for me. yeah we had our problems but that was due to the distance that seperated us. I know that if we were together we would fight also but try fighting with someone who you can't even see and then trying to make things better when all you have are words. I really loved her and thanks to FUCKING COLLEGE i fucked that one up also.
So here i am stuck in this position. Miserable, depressed, and broke. I can't even afford to feed my cat!!! Not to mention feed myself. i wonder why I am sick so much maybe if I had the basic nutrients in my body i would be abnle to fight this shit off. what about winter? i might as well die right now if this is what I have to look forward to in winter. seriously what is left for me?
now what am I supposed to do with myself? I have nothing, no job, no girlfriend, nothing!!! I can't even think of anything that could imrpove my life. talk about hopeless!!!!! fuck!
honestly i wish i could go back to simpler times where all i had to worry about was getting picked on in school. I thought it was gonna get better but now I would kill to have that my only fucking problem. I'm sick of being depressed. my mom thinks that I am bipolar which wouldn't suprise me at all. then you add the anxiety disorder that I can thank college for. Oh yeah what about the sever asthma that I can't do shit about due to no fucking health insurance, oh yeah thats always fun. plus all the shit that I always seem to FUCK up completely. I had a good girl and I blew it because I was away from her and it was killing me inside.
kate was definately a great girlfriend. she treated me amazing and did everything she could for me. yeah we had our problems but that was due to the distance that seperated us. I know that if we were together we would fight also but try fighting with someone who you can't even see and then trying to make things better when all you have are words. I really loved her and thanks to FUCKING COLLEGE i fucked that one up also.
So here i am stuck in this position. Miserable, depressed, and broke. I can't even afford to feed my cat!!! Not to mention feed myself. i wonder why I am sick so much maybe if I had the basic nutrients in my body i would be abnle to fight this shit off. what about winter? i might as well die right now if this is what I have to look forward to in winter. seriously what is left for me?